The Ablative Absolute Defined
First, it’s not as big a bowel movement as it sounds. In simple terms, the ablative absolute is a thought, condition, or action that is separate–but modifies the meaning of the rest of the sentence.
I Thought You Said It Was Simple?
Okay, I’ll try again. The ablative absolute does not modify the subject in the sentence. It’s sometimes thought of as an adverbial phrase because it modifies the action of a verb, yet the ablative absolute can never be the subject of the sentence. Now it’s crystal clear, right?
It’s Clear As Mud
What can make it even muddier is that the phrase cannot be linked to any other part of the sentence, at least directly. This means that no preposition can introduce the phrase. Yet it implies an action caused by the main clause that pertains to time, condition, cause, or contention. And it’s also most often written in passive tense. Now it’s beyond muddy.
Ah, But There Is Light at the End of the Tunnel
The guests having left the party, Jill poured herself a stiff one. (Which is likely what many of you will want to do after reading this.) In the sentence preceding my silly parenthetical expression, the guests leaving have absolutely nothing to do syntactically with Jill pouring herself a strong drink.
Those of you who studied Caesar in the second year of Latin might remember “With Caesar’s army approaching the river, the enemy pulled up stakes and left.” In this example, “the enemy pulled up stakes and left” has zero to do directly with Caesar’s army approaching. Yes, it can be assumed this influenced the decision, but this is not expressed anywhere in the sentence.
You’ll also notice that most sentences containing an ablative absolute are written in passive tense, which I alluded to earlier. This can lead to some very awkward construction. And a good reason we don’t see this in much modern writing.
The Ablative Absolute Is a Phrase That a Noted Academic Describes as an Independent Subset
While the phrase is indeed “absolute” as to carrying its own meaning, there’s wide speculation as to how the word “ablative” evolved. Or at least I can’t determine its etymology, and I’ve searched far and wide for a definitive answer. What matters is that it’s one of those fun oddities in language that some of us who work in the medium find entertaining. Yes, we have to get our thrills where we can, and this was really exciting, don’t you know?
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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One of the most serious issues facing many writers is the ability to maintain the action throughout the narrative. Unfortunately, the mere creation of a dramatic occurrence does not guarantee plot movement.
The literary critic for The Palm Beach Post, Scott Eyman, has written many outstanding books on the legends of the cinema. In an article he wrote some years ago pertaining to a trend in film making that was conceived to sustain an audience’s attention span, he stated, “Action has become confused with movement.” I was so taken by what I felt was an exceptionally acute and accurate comment, I asked for and received his permission to cite his line, since I am of the opinion this issue applies equally to crafting a novel.
There Is a Time When You May Have to Kill Your Babies
In writing, a glaring fault occurs when an otherwise perfectly good scene has nothing
to do with the plot. And what happens when the story has evolved, from that plot element, to the state of rendering the scene superfluous or no longer pertinent to the story–but the writer doesn’t want to lose the scene? As harsh as it sounds, to paraphrase Faulkner, this is the time the writer may have to kill his or her babies. But not many who write their gems want to do it. And not without a battle of intestinal tumult that often reaches epic proportions.
Whether Exposition or Dialogue, Lateral Movement is Equally Deadly to Advancing the Story
No aspect of a narrative is immune, and to imply the problem is found more in exposition than dialogue would likely be inaccurate, but flat scenes seem easier to identify in the latter. Stagnant dialogue while dining, for example, although much less dramatic, is not dissimilar in its end result for a moviegoer who experiences a fight scene or an explosion or a car chase that is ridiculously positioned or overused as a plot point. In leaving the theater and asking why a particular scene was in the movie, there is no difference should a reader say that a passage of exposition or a rift of dialogue had nothing to do with the story line of a novel.
Writers of Books Don’t Have the Luxury Filmmakers Possess
But movie makers have an advantage, since their medium is visual. A lot can be remedied in a couple of minutes and a few scene changes. A novel requires much more time to regain the reader’s confidence after a lull in the narrative. And it requires much
less effort to put down a flawed book that might take another eight hours to read than
to hang around the theater for a half hour until the movie ends.
It Is Impractical to Write Around an Ineffective Scene
It sounds simple, but this is the whole megillah: For anyone desiring publication by a quality royalty publisher, all of the words have to be focused toward the goal of advancing the plot. If not, revise or cut them. It is impossible to write the plot around rhetoric in its original context, no matter how brilliant it might be, if it does not move the story forward. When a writer accepts this, the task of transitioning prose becomes easier (sometimes exponentially so) and the overall narrative, with the rarest of exceptions, more effective.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
I wrote an article some time ago about the significance of concentrating on writing narrative that advances the plot. A number of people e-mailed me to ask if I could provide examples of specific situations that stall the action.
Avoid These Amateur Writing Mistakes
One classic faux pas is the unnecessary set up to a phone call. If Tom wants to talk to Bill, begin the call with Tom or Bill talking on the phone, not the picking up of the phone, the waiting for the ring, or anything else that has nothing to do with the content of the call, such as this:
Tom walked to the phone. He picked it up in his left hand and punched in the numbers with his right index finger.
On the second ring Bill answered,”Bill here.”
“Hi Bill, this is Tom.”
“Well, hello, Tom. How are you?”
“I’m fine, I hope you are too.”
“Yes, I’m pretty good.”
Another scene never to write is the greeting with a receptionist:
Tom walked into the waiting area to Bill’s office and approached a woman sitting behind a desk in the middle of the room.
“Miss, my name is Tom Miller, and I’m here to see Bill Jones. He’s expecting me.”
“One moment, I’ll see if he’s in.”
“Mr. Jones, Tom Miller is here to see you.”
“I’m expecting him. Please send him in.”
“Mr. Miller, Mr. Jones can see you now.”
Nothing Can Shut Down a Novel Quicker Than Describing Mundane Activity
Each of the prior examples illustrate serious writing deficiencies, and unless there is high anxiety attached to either scenario, such as Bill coming back from the dead or being overly cautious in an attempt to conceal his affair with the receptionist, neither incident should be played out for the reader. To state that Bill called Tom is all that is necessary before proceeding to the dialogue. Likewise, the phrase Bill met with Tom is all that is required to move the story to the start of a run of dialogue.
Search for Writing That Retards Pacing and Eliminate It
When reviewing a manuscript, it is always helpful to approach each scene with the attitude of deleting anything that is not absolutely critical to the story. And while this might seem harsh, since there is always material that is supportive of the whole, there is generally a great deal that can be cut. Especially if a passage should mirror either example in this article. The ability to recognize and delete superfluous rhetoric is essential for anyone wishing to be considered by a major royalty publisher.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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It seems as though everyone has had an English teacher in high school who wanted things described in the most florid terms possible. This enthusiasm for abundant description was often championed in college too, and we commonly read material from MFA superstars that illustrates dogged determination to accentuate every noun with some form of embellishment. The cold, hard fact is that writers are warned against adverbs, while adjectives don’t evoke anywhere near the same level of disdain. But adjectives are just as detrimental to quality prose as their routinely maligned counterpart.
The Rules That Apply to Adverbs Also Pertain to Adjectives
The same as the “correct” verb’s eliminating the need for an adverb, the “right” noun does not require adumbration. In describing an Amazon, is it necessary to state that it is a large woman with ferocious tendencies? Doesn’t the word “Amazon” convey all of this by itself? This excessive rhetoric is comparable to writing that skilled carpenters have built fabulous domiciles in Italy. How about many estates in Italy were built by artisans? Of course an Amazon and a carpenter can indeed be accentuated, but in the examples does either benefit from the modifier?
“Very” and “Much”
I’ve never had the problem with “very” and “much” that some educators profess (but I’m not an educator either, ha ha). I believe something can indeed be “very” good and we can all do with “much” more of something, like money, but the elimination test should always be utilized before using either of these words. Simply, read the sentence, clause, or word with and without the respective adjective. If the message does not read appreciably better with the adjective, omit the modifier.
When Are Adjectives Not Necessary?
The strength of the nouns in a passage can have everything to do with whether or not an adjective adds to the message. Take a look at the following: “A big gray German shepherd chased after an agile young man with blond hair who was wielding a black Louisville Slugger baseball bat and had just robbed the elderly Armenian owner of the Mini-Mart grocery store on Waverly Street.” Now read this: “A dog chased a man who had robbed a grocer.” It’s up to the writer to determine to what degree each noun needs further adumbration.
Is the dog important to the story? If so, does the reader need to know it was a German shepherd? What about its color or size? A big German shepherd could be chasing the crook just as well as a German shepherd. Or a big gray dog might be important, since a big gray dog of undetermined breed (should it not be known to be a German shepherd) might have been “policing” the neighborhood. Or the German shepherd could be owned by the grocer and everyone on the block knew of this animal, and that it always protected its owner. Apply this exercise to all of the adjectives in that bloated sentence to determine the way you think it should read, based on your interpretation of the scene.
As With the Strength of the Noun, the Significance of the Noun Determines the Necessity of an Adjective
I have often cited this horrible sentence I read in a book published by a Big 6 imprint in the mid ’90s: “He held a green garden hose as the yellow taxicab came up the concrete driveway.” Has there ever been a more over-written sentence? “He held a hose as the taxi came up the driveway” is all that’s needed.
Think about the green garden hose and ask yourself if a garden hose is ever thought to be any other color. And even though taxis come in a rainbow of colors, unless this one was other than yellow, isn’t this the color most people associate with a cab? Finally, unless a driveway is full of potholes, or there is some compelling reason to discuss its composition, why would it be necessary to mention the material from which it was constructed?
Find the Best Nouns and Use Them
For all of the antediluvian mishmash in many of our old primers, this is one maxim that’s incontrovertible. Think of all the single words that could be used to describe a big mean dog. “Cujo” was the consensus when I asked this of some grade-schoolers a while ago. But there’s always Hellhound, or the original Hellhound itself, Cerberus. Even the word “beast” can be the ideal word choice in many settings.
Trim a Draft of Every Adjective and Then Replace Only Those That Are Essential
I’ve suggested this to my clients as well as to those folks for whom I critique their opening chapters as a service. If a writer will take out every adjective and then go back through the draft and replace only those modifiers that are deemed crucial to the sentences in which they originally appeared, the narrative will be tighter and a better read. Always!
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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I remember when I first read information on writing a query letter that rule number one was never to use an adverb in the text. Anywhere! I also recall being told when writing dialogue never to use an adverb attribute, such as “he said hurriedly.” And I recollect being admonished after I started writing seriously that I shouldn’t use adverbs in my manuscript but instead seek verbs that conveyed the desired meaning without the need for modification.
Why Have This Element of Grammar If It Can’t Be Used?
If adverbs are such evil components of syntax, why have them at all? Were they the terrible incarnation of morphed adjectives that lazy authors everywhere conjured up to bail them out of a writing malaise? Or, maybe, do they serve a useful purpose when, if used, they don’t automatically label a writer as indolent, inept, or befuddled?
What’s Wrong with Speaking Rapidly?
John rubbed his hands together, tugged at his collar, and said rapidly, “I don’t know what happened to the money.” This author is demonstrating–by John’s physical actions–that he’s nervous, and isn’t a quickened speech pattern a natural component of apprehensive behavior? Should John’s short line of dialogue have been crafted to illustrate he was speaking briskly, expeditiously, speedily, swiftly, hastily, hurriedly, precipitately, urgently, excitedly, quickly, feverishly, hotly, fleetly, energetically, expeditiously, frantically, or heatedly?
Considering the material that preceded his speech, does any word other than “rapidly” better convey what the author intends? The closest word is “quickly,” but this can imply that he began talking right away and not that his delivery was rapid. So what better way is there to relate the author’s desire than to state that John, who was nervous, spoke rapidly? Writing gurus can argue that John’s antsy actions indicate he might be inclined to speak fast, but unless the author stated this up front, how is the reader to know by the short line that followed, “I don’t know what happened to the money,” what John’s frame of mind might be like?
What if the writer wrote this: John rubbed his hands together, tugged at his collar, and said slowly, “I don’t know what happened to the money.” John could simply have been cold in the office and the starch in his collar was bothering him. His slow delivery might indicate he wasn’t nervous and was simply stating a fact in a resolute way. To take this a step further, what happens to the meaning of the run if it’s written in a sterile manner? John rubbed his hands together, tugged at his collar, and said, “I don’t know what happened to the money.” He appears nervous, but can the reader be certain of the reason? An adverb attribute is one of the few ways to give the reader the necessary information, and in this instance certainly the most precise and concise method of delivering the author’s intended message.
Adverbs Aren’t the Worst Things to Happen to The English Language
I ask again, in the prior exercise does any one of dozen and a half adverbs I offered as substitutes express John’s mood more definitively than “rapidly”? But of greater importance to the thesis of this paper, can the same clarity of purpose be conveyed without an adverb modifying the attributive phrase “John said”? Of course another sentence or two of setup could be crafted and poor John’s state of mind would be obvious, but if he is not a key character or if the pacing of the scene requires short exchanges, what better way to do this than with the word “rapidly”?
Don’t Get Carried Away with This
What I’ve just written shouldn’t be assumed to provide carte blanche that a writer should now feel free to litter a manuscript with adverbs at every opportunity. My contention is that a well-placed adverb in a run of narrative is just as valuable as any other word that is used to its best advantage. But words such as “smilingly” and “tiredly” should never be used–even though both are in dictionaries–as it must be understand that almost any adjective can be made into an adverb by adding an “-ly.” Consequently, while my article might provide some writers with newly found freedom, serious constraint must always be practiced.
As with adjectives, which should be used only after seeking the best noun to meet the author’s needs, adverbs have a place in our language, but only after the best possible choice of a verb is sought.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
Some people have said that the best way to display backstory, or flashback as it is commonly called, is not to write it at all. Instead, maneuver this sort of set-up material into the beginning of the story as a natural chronology of the narrative. But for the purpose of this article we are assuming that backstory is critical to a particular text, so here are several methods for presenting it from a visual perspective. Among the options are: within parentheses, via italics, or as an aside by way of a “remembrance.”
Parentheses Never Seem to Make the Right Impact
I have long espoused that the parentheses should never be used in fiction, and I still believe this. First and foremost, a parentheses, by its very nature, is an aside to indicate something of lesser significance, and therefore would seem to contraindicate the need for backstory. Simply, if this aspect of the narrative is so important, as stated earlier, write it into the normal sequence of events. Now this last remark is a stretch, but if backstory is deemed necessary, why relegate it to second-class status as a parenthetical expression? Plus, from a purely pedestrian view, when a long run of backstory ends with a parenthesis, isn’t it irritating to be “told” via the closed parenthetical mark that what was just read had not happened in real time?
Long Italics Can be Annoying
I once wrote an entire story in italics, as have other novelists. A couple of other authors’ works have been successful, but they are few and far between. Most people find that more than a few pages of italics will grate on the brain. And I’ve even found that italics beyond a couple of paragraphs can be too much. I look at this like reading stream-of-consciousness writing. Unless parked under Faulkner, Joyce, or Woolfe, a little bit goes a long way.
Offering a “Remembrance” Is Often an Effective Method
Backstory for me seems to work best when the character begins with a short muse and then a full scene follows. This can be anything from a couple of sentences to a long chapter. Either way, something with this sort of set up: John looked across the barren field at the rusted chassis of the old Chevy truck, now seeming like it had died while planted up to its rims in the hard ground, and remembered the first time Mary came into his life on a comparable cold Kansas afternoon in late November, ten years earlier. “Hey,” a voice called from over his shoulder. He turned and saw a woman….
No One Size Fits All
I’d create something such as what is in the preceding paragraph–in the three ways I’ve described–and see how each of these set up with what is written before and after it. Maybe the dreaded parentheses is the answer, or a half page of italics will do the trick. But if more than a few paragraphs of text is required, I’d seriously consider a “musing” and closing this with the end of the chapter, or at least an extra space to begin a new scene within the chapter.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
Some time ago I was asked to write a piece on techniques for displaying backstory (or flashback, if this is preferred) in a novel. That article focused on formats such as italics, parentheses, or a simple writer’s aside. Later, it was suggested I address how to specifically use backstory in a novel, and that is what this article is about.
A Prologue Is the Most Obvious Medium, but Also the Most Dangerous
The simplest location for backstory is in a prologue, as this inherently deals with what has occurred in the past. The problem is that prologues are often frowned upon by agents and publishers because they feel this “explanation” gives away too much of what is going to happen in the story, hence lessening the intensity of the plotline.
The Next Most Obvious Option Is Via Dialogue
In the earlier article I hadn’t initially mentioned dialogue, and careful readers pointed this out. I purposely didn’t include dialogue because that article dealt with format techniques to display backstory. But I felt the criticism was justified, so I revised the material to include a reference. Indeed, what one character says to another is the most convenient way to depict the past without being accused of telling rather than showing the action. And telling rather than showing is one of the primary reasons some of the movers and shakers who determine what gets published don’t like backstory.
Stream of Consciousness Writing Also Works
Most people would agree that it’s really hard to write like Virginia Wolf or William Faulkner, which might be the understatement of the century. But some people try. And if a writer is brave enough to give it a go, stream of consciousness writing will enable a character to express the past.
Interior Monologue Is Easy–Sort of
Short bursts of interior monologue deftly inserted between spits of dialogue can work quite well. However, this too requires a good ear and being especially alert to unintended POV shifts. POV problems seem to crop up most often when interior monologue becomes lengthy, so it’s generally best to keep these runs brief. But, again, this is a great place to offer information to the reader that is significant to the fabric of the narrative.
Entire Chapters Can Be Devoted to Backstory
I’ve seen instances when writers have used an entire chapter of backstory to lend clarity to what is now going on in their story. But in the overwhelming number of instances, in my opinion, it would’ve been much better to show the event in real time, early-on in the narrative, and then build from it.
Then There Is the Denouement
The denouement doesn’t always have to occur at the very end of the story, and a prime example is in A THOUSAND ACRES, a book I cite often because I feel it’s brilliant in a great many respects. One of these is the subtle style Jane Smiley uses to let the reader in on why her protagonist, Ginny, has had severe emotional struggles throughout her life. The way this is interjected–and where in the story–is a testament to Ms. Smiley’s immense talent. Without critical backstory handled in this manner, in my opinion the book wouldn’t have been what it is.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
Free Critique Service! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
A Time When Size Really Matters
When is this chapter ever going to end?” This is a common rebuke heard by many
a weary soul. The quality of the story may not have diminished, but the chapter is not consistent in length with the rest of the book. And the reader is uncomfortable. No time
was allowed for the person to relax with the words.
Consistency with Chapter Length Is Important
Harry Crews, whose writing is far-removed from the mainstream, dissected Graham Greene novels related to how many chapters they contained and the length of each. Crews had a number of reasons for doing this, and it can be suggested that a writer should look at his/her own work as Crews parsed Greene’s to create visual continuity that can translate to pacing and tone.
Genre As an Influence
However, when reviewing chapter length, a number of issues must be considered,
none-the-least of which is genre. A writer of literature, such as Pat Conroy, will have different chapter parameters from a mystery author like James Patterson, with the
separate and distinctive narrative nature of the disparate stories influencing chapter
length.
Clever Techniques that Provide the Perception of a Shorter Chapter
If a writer finds a chapter, for whatever reason, too long, there are techniques that can
be used to shorten the perception of a chapter’s length and provide the reader with some breathing room. One is to add an extra line space after the paragraph and the beginning
of the next (three spaces instead of two in a raw draft) to indicate a shift in the scene that, though evident, is not so great that a new chapter is desirable. Simply, the whole is still within the theme of that chapter. The other device is to use dots between a line break to indicate a shift in the direction of the scene that is substantial, but still not such that a new chapter is deemed appropriate. Some publishers use elaborate symbols to accomplish the same thing.
Prudent Reasons for Section Breaks
It must be kept in mind that section breaks must have a distinct function–such as denoting a passage of time, a change of setting, or a point-of-view shift–to indicate a transition point that would otherwise confuse the reader by its absence. But just as section breaks enable the reader to take a deep breath, too many of these breaks, or if they are ill-placed, can confuse the reader as to why the change of direction was necessary. The story will appear choppy and therefore a poor read.
The Ultimate Test for a New Chapter
If you feel a chapter is too long or bloated, a good test is to look closely at the point at which you are contemplating a section break. Apply a simple concept: If you were getting tired of reading the chapter, wouldn’t the reader likely be feeling the same way?
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
One of the main principles behind sound plot development is the change a major character must experience for the storyline to be effective. And make no mistake about it, this character must be different at the end of the story from what the writer presents at the outset. Yet the ability to show the changes in believable ways is just as important as the modifications themselves.
“The Elements of Screenwriting” by Irwin R. Blacker Provides a Solid Template to Follow
In my creative writing workshops I often allude to books on screenwriting to help writers structure their novels in a technically correct manner. Irwin R. Blacker’s “The Elements of Screenwriting” offers superb advice with respect to the principle characters’ requiring change, and he explains ways this can be accomplished.
Changes to a Character, While Essential, Cannot Be Sudden
One of the most important issues Blacker points out is that writers often show a character’s shift in persona occurring too abruptly. I will occasionally ask a writer to look at the draft and pinpoint the exact location in the story where a major change occurred with one of the primary characters. If the writer can go to a single paragraph in the narrative, this lets the author know that the change wasn’t subtle enough–and too much happened at one time.
Gradual Changes Also Move the Plot Along
The biggest downfall to a sudden change is that it doesn’t give the character a chance to adequately develop. And the pacing often will flag, as one seems to have an inverse relationship to the other, especially if too much of a change occurs too rapidly. Small changes that take place as the plot moves along serve two main purposes from a technical perspective, as the reader’s understanding of the character can be advanced at the same time it’s being solidified.
There Is a Point When the Reader Must Know the Change Has Taken Place
With everything I just wrote about subtlety, at some place in the story the change in a character must be obvious to the reader. This skill in presenting these subtleties so they ultimately develop in dramatic fashion can make or break a story. The authors of the following works accomplished this end in splendid form and contributed greatly to why each became a classic.
When does Gregor Samsa, and therefore the reader, realize there is no possibility of his returning to his normal body? When does Pierre realize his life will never be the same, even if he can reclaim his position with the royal family in Russia? How about the Reverend Dimmesdale’s realization that he can no longer endure Chillingworth’s prodding? Or Raskolnikov’s acceptance of the reality of his crimes during his gut-wrenching confessions? And, in a more contemporary vein, Meggie’s acceptance of her life after the birth of a son she never reveals to the priest who fathered the child?
Find a Pace for Each Character
Studying this sort of outstanding material can give writers a feel for the pace of each character’s development–and change–in their own works. By translating the concept of rhythm to their personal narratives, authors can learn to sense when something should be foreshadowed and to what degree. Handled properly, the ultimate result will be both dramatic and obvious in the mind of the reader, which should be every writer’s goal.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
I recently critiqued a spate of unpublished manuscripts that were well written for the most part except for what I refer to as “literary retro,” and I thought it might be a good idea to address what my phrase encompasses.
It’s a Lot More Than the Overuse of Commas
For many readers and writers, the most obvious instance of “dated” writing is material with excess comma usage that mirrors the respective styles of Henry James, Jane Austin, and other Victorian-era authors of classical literature. But the problematic issues with antiquated writing are much more extensive than abundant commas, and include placing a character’s thoughts in quotations, combining different tenses, and awkward POV shifts. And many of the worst offenders are recipients of literature’s most prestigious awards.
A Prime Violator at Placing Thoughts in Quotations
Kafka wrote THE METAMORPHOSIS approximately 100 years ago. The work’s value as a dream-narrative is indisputable, but the author’s quoting of thoughts can be misconstrued as an acceptable technique–when it is not. Bob thought, “What can I do now?” is going to rapidly send a manuscript to the slush pile; whereas, Bob wondered what he was going to do next, while not scintillating writing (and flagrant Telling and not Showing), would not in itself most likely discourage an agent or publisher from continuing to read the draft.
Even Recipients of Literature’s Most Prestigious Awards are Guilty of Verb Tense Errors
In Bernard Malamud’s THE FIXER, for which he received a Pulitzer Prize, in a couple of instances the author shifts from past to present tense in such an uneven way that it stops the reader. Knut Hamsun, a Norwegian writer–who won a Nobel Prize for Literature in 1920–wrote HUNGER, and any who read it can readily experience the problems with shifting tense. I can only assume that the Nobel committee thought this was stylish at the time, but anyone parsing the work today would not be advised to consider writing this way and expect any chance of being considered by a major royalty publisher.
Saul Bellow and POV
In two instances I am aware of in THE VICTIM, Saul Bellow inexplicably shifts POV so abruptly that I had to read both scenes several times to try to figure out who was speaking. Anyone familiar with Mr. Bellow knows he won a Pulitzer Prize for HUMBOLDT’S GIFT and was also the recipient of the Nobel Prize for Literature. But while he got away with these POV indiscretions, none of us would likely be as fortunate with our own efforts, so it would be prudent not to be influenced by THE VICTIM, lest we become one.
Good Writers Don’t Copy Bad Examples
It is traumatic when someone who has studied classical literature begins serious writing, only to learn that much of what was thought to be acceptable is not. This is why many mentors will recommend to their students that, once they read the past masters, it is a good idea to spend a comparable amount of time with the current ones. Regardless of a person’s taste (or distaste for my selections), reading successful contemporary authors such as Joyce Carol Oates, Stephen King, John Grissom, Barbara Kingsolver, James Patterson, Colleen McCullough, Dan Browne, Sue Grafton, Nelson DeMille, and Pat Conroy, for example, will demonstrate the value of correctly placed quotation marks, maintaining tense, and paying strict attention to writing in a consistent POV.
A Thought on Structure as Well as Stricture
It behooves a writer to study what successful contemporary material looks like, not just stylistically–but from the perspective of conventional formatting–however, there are of course exceptions in this latter environment too. In Charles Frazier’s wildly successful COLD MOUNTAIN, he employed em dashes, a technique I hadn’t seen in so long (read “James Joyce”, literally, ha ha) that I’d forgotten what they were called. I don’t suggest trying this or other non-traditional ways to set up text, any more than it’s beneficial to violate current strictures in an attempt to draw attention to one’s writing.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
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The comma is one of the most highly debated forms of punctuation, simply because its use is often a function of inflection, and for this reason can be viewed the same as opinion. Simply, one person likes where a comma is placed; another person doesn’t. But there are clear-cut issues for which many writers take a lot of leeway, and this article will address some of the more obvious miscues involving comma usage.
A Comma Precedes a Conjunction, It Doesn’t Follow It
Here’s a typical example of sentence construction I’ve seen recently: John went to the bistro and had several drinks but, since Mary didn’t show up, he left. Now here’s essentially the same sentence, except with “and” instead of “but.” John went to the bistro and had several drinks while waiting for Mary and, since she never showed up, he left. Clearly in both instances the comma should precede the conjunctions.
There really isn’t wiggle room in these illustrations, but for whatever reason I find some writers trying to set off “since Mary never showed up” as a separate clause when it isn’t. Perhaps a way to look at this clearly is if the word “however” is substituted for the conjunctions in both sentences. If the word was now “however,” would anyone not place a comma (or some would suggest a semi-colon) in front of it?
To Comma or Not to Comma Is Often the Question
A comma has to come before “too” or “also” if either of these words is placed at the end of a sentence. Ms. Milsey in fourth grade told me this, so did my high-school English teacher, and every English course I took in college reinforced these earlier positions. Some people can become downright nasty in their justification. The fact is, however, that current grammar experts tend to eschew the comma in this syntax.
Commas to Set Off Proper Names
Commas are generally necessary to set off proper names, but it’s important to understand the context in which a proper name is placed. “Go see Mark,” is not the same as “Go see, Mark.” And, while this illustration is a no-brainer, here’s one that’s not: “I want to talk to you, Mark.” Even though proper grammar requires it, for the sake of fluency in many instances the comma is eliminated. Just as “Oh well” might be an author’s preference instead of “Oh, well.” (Proper names have their own set of strictures with respect to commas, which can be quite complicated, and this section only deals with the basics.)
No and Yes Require a Comma
“Yes, I want to go,” and “I’m certain that, no, it is not a good idea,” are examples of “yes” and “no” in sentences in which a comma is necessary to set off each word. Yet I commonly read these words without a comma (or commas as the case may be). However, a sentence such as “I won’t take no for an answer,” doesn’t require commas around “no.”
A Short Compound Sentence Doesn’t Need a Comma
“I have to go and I need to go now,” is fine, even though it’s also correct to write “I have to go, and I need to go now.” The second example is especially prevalent if the writer wants to emphasize the phrase “I need to go now.”
Commas in a Series Are Always Up for Debate
One of the ongoing contentions is the use or non-use of running commas. Here are two examples, and you can judge which you prefer. “The old man left the boy, the dog and the cat.” or: “The old man left the boy, the dog, and the cat.” Tomato/Tamato, but in my earlier sentence does it now read as comfortably without the comma? “Ms. Milsey in fourth grade told me this, so did my high-school English teacher and every English course I took in college reinforced these earlier positions.”
Only the reader can decide which sentence is easier to read. I suggest always setting off the last element with a comma when there are a series of long clauses. Then to assure consistency throughout the narrative I advise setting off the short clauses too. So this states my position. For me, running commas solve a lot of issues; however, this topic is hotly contested and has been forever.
The Best Way I Know to Determine if a Comma Is Necessary
The old standby: Read the sentence out loud. Note where you have to pause. If a comma is not already placed at the point of the break, see if inserting one makes the sentence read more fluently. Likewise, if a sentence’s flow is broken up unnaturally by a comma, it might be beneficial to eliminate the punctuation.
And while there can be serious conjecture about many aspects of comma usage, as several subsections of this article pointed out, there are a number of instances in which a comma cannot be eliminated or placed and enable the syntax to maintain its integrity. It’s important not to lose sight of the grammatical scenarios that for all practical purposes are inviolable.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
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To have any chance of engaging the reader, the number-one challenge is to create conflict as soon as possible and make it powerful enough to propel the story. The famous editor Irwin R. Blacker feels it’s so important that he quotes Aristotelian theory, which I’ve bastardized as follows: If the conflict is not great enough to change the central character, the reason for reading the book has been removed. Simply, if the conflict is not powerful in the mind of the reader, the story is dead out of the box.
What Exactly Constitutes Conflict?
Last year I took time away from my adult creative writing workshops that were sponsored by the Palm Beach County Library System to work with kids at a school for gifted children in my community. These youngsters were great fun, and I began with the same elements I discuss in my adult programs, and one is defining conflict. And that conflict in and of itself isn’t always something which is earthshaking, let alone dramatic. During an early session, one 9-year-old girl, who was shy to begin with, read her opening paragraph from an exercise I’d given the group. She finished her material, which involved a puppy being left on a porch in a box by person or persons unknown, and asked me–while displaying a terribly sad look– “Not much conflict, huh?”
I said she was far from correct in her self-deprecation. The abandoned dog in her story created all sorts of scenarios: Who left it? Why? Did the person who found the puppy like it and want to keep it? If the animal was discovered by a little girl, would her parents let her keep it? The list went on and on. When we were finished, she had more conflict options available to her than any of her classmates via their respective material.
There’s Rising Conflict, Peaking Conflict, and Falling Conflict
In my opinion, “conflict theory” can foster over-analysis at times, but once conflict is established in a story, it needs to crescendo. Will Mom and Dad let me have the puppy? If they do, how much time will it take from my other activities?
Conflict should also run full circle: Yea, my parents say I can keep the dog. He’s great and I named him Fluffy. I’ve had him a week now and he’s my best friend. But I still don’t know who left him outside, and this really bothers me. I never took the time to care about much before, but now I feel responsible for things. Mom even says I’m keeping my room neater and taking more of an interest in people too. I’m not as shy anymore, either. And Mom and Dad seem to be paying a lot more attention to me. Is it possible Fluffy has something to do with this?
Again, Conflict Must Change a Major Character
In the last few lines, the conflict is falling, but it must descend to a level that brings the protagonist and antagonist together at the end. In our imaginary tale, the little girl walks by the den one night and hears her mother and father talking without their being aware she’s listening.
The mom says to the dad, “It sure seems like the money we spent taking Cindy to Dr. Nichols was worth it. I had no idea she was suffering from a case of such low self-esteem.” The dad replied, “That little mutt has helped you and me too. We seemed to have gotten so caught up in our jobs that we were neglecting Cindy. It’s strange it worked out this way, since I didn’t believe the doc in the beginning and you didn’t either.” His wife smiled at him. “It’s amazing how he could know that placing that little dog in that box and letting Cindy find it would make such a difference in her life.” He returned her smile and took her hand. “It’s made a difference in all our lives.”
Here’s a case of the major conflict being resolved in the denouement, while several peripheral conflicts were “satisfied” along the way.
And Then There’s Too Much Conflict
If the conflict in a story requires more than a sentence to define, the plot is likely too complicated. Sounds silly, but think about the most complex tales out there and how succinctly the main conflict is presented. Most conflict can be defined in ten words or less. Try the “ten words or less” exercise for your favorite novel and see if it works.
Some Rules for Conflict Are Inviolable
- Conflict must always be shown and never told to the reader.
- Conflict should place the protagonist and antagonist together in the same theoretical room. However, If they aren’t directly involved with one another to establish the conflict, those around them must be the tormenters who pull them into the maelstrom.
- Unresolved conflict makes for very unhappy readers.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
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One of the more difficult tasks facing any fiction writer is the proper application of contractions in the narrative. A set of standards applying to exposition that is often different from those which pertain to dialogue makes this particularly perplexing.
Start by Reading the Material Aloud
Anyone who routinely reads my articles is aware that this is what I always suggest as the first requirement for determining good writing, regardless of whether it’s exposition or dialogue. Unquestionably, authors listening to their own prose is the best way I know for them to assess the fluency of their material. If not combining two words that form a common contraction causes an undesired pause in the delivery of the material, this is the best indicator I know that a revision is in order.
Emphasize a Sentence Element by Not Using a Contraction
It’s especially good not to use a contraction if it is deemed important to add emphasis to something, the same as I did in this sentence. I wanted the second “it is” to draw attention to my belief that it is indeed beneficial to use a contraction to add emphasis. Conversely, I didn’t feel “It is” held any significance as a lead-in, Keep in mind, it’s not the “it is” that’s important, but the degree of influence the writer wants to place on a sentence element.
Noncontracted Words Influence Dialogue As Well
Some fine editors, especially those who work mostly with nonfiction, have issues with dialogue because they expect to see it written in a “perfect” way. Ignoring that an author can’t effectively write dialogue the exact way people speak any more than folks can talk comfortably the same way dialogue is written, contraction use and nonuse is critical to the way a run of dialogue is perceived.
Contracted and noncontracted words can provide a wealth of information. Here are two of the simplest but purest examples: “That isn’t what I meant,” and “That is not what I meant.” In the second short sentence, is there any doubt that the speaker is more intent? Does it require an underline or italics with “it is,” or an exclamation point at the end of the sentence, to identify that the speaker is vexed?
Contractions Can Indicate a Casual Atmosphere
I publish a Newsletter that many subscribers have told me is like receiving a letter from a friend. In large measure, I believe this feeling is because I use a great many contractions in the narrative. My thought is that contractions make the material more pleasant to read, and at times will lend a lighter air to some serious topics. I’ve found this to be my approach to many facets of prose writing, and the placement of contractions is a critical component for shaping tone as well as pitch.
An Issue to Be Aware Of
A problem arises when certain common contractions don’t travel well when used in runs of dialogue. “That will” and “It will” are at the top of this list. I don’t know of many people who haven’t written “that’ll” or “it’ll” at one time or another. Please don’t. There seems to be a penchant to tag “ll” to the back of an inordinate number of words. I recently read, “somebody’ll” and in another draft that “my brother’ll be here in a while.” It’s one thing if a writer is trying to illustrate a speech pattern or dialect, but quite another when creating an altogether new amalgamation of words.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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With an Ear for the Reader, Understand the Value of Contractions for Realism in Dialogue
A major hindrance to realistic dialogue is the inability to recognize the value of contractions to enable fluency. Dialogue quickly becomes stilted due to the non-use of contractions, and the narrative tends to read like dissertation material or a legal brief. Unless the character is not familiar with spoken English, or if the writer wishes to create and maintain an accent, when constructing dialogue it is generally advisable to use contractions whenever possible.
Early On, We Learn to Avoid Writing Dialogue Like People Actually Speak
Related to dialogue and creative writing, from the first sentence of the initial lecture we attend or book we read, the adage is the same: for dialogue to work, it must not be written in the exact way we speak; conversely, dialogue normally would not be spoken in the same syntax in which it is written. Unfortunately, this is a difficult element to comprehend for a lot of writers, and poorly conceived dialogue knocks out manuscripts quicker in the eyes of many agents and publishers than any other factor.
Read the Line Fast, First Without and Then With the Contraction(s)
If a writer reads the line of dialogue fast–first without a contraction(s) and then with–and applies the intended inflection along the way, a good sense of pitch can be ascertained. When multiple contractions are a possibility in a sentence, this “fast read technique” not only helps to determine if contractions will benefit the dialogue, but where, since many times a contraction works well in the first spit of dialogue, but not later in the same sentence–or vice versa. This of course also applies to exposition, but the evil non-contraction as a contributor to stilted rhetoric tends to be more marked in dialogue, and, as stated, imminent death for a manuscript.
It’s All About Pitch
Most people have a favorite author or two they like to read purely for pleasure. If we ask why, we’re generally told it’s because those writers are easy to read. Pick up someone’s work you enjoy relaxing with, and start parsing just the dialogue out loud. (After I wrote this line, I pulled down books by Barbara Kingsolver, Larry McMurtry, and Colleen McCullough to support my point.) You won’t have to search for the contractions; they’ll find you. Now take a sentence and read it instead with two-word substitutes for the contraction(s), paying attention solely to the new pitch of that sentence. I don’t have to guess if there was a negative impact, and in many instances I imagine it was profound.
Good writing happens for a reason, and the proper utilization of contractions in dialogue is a powerful stepping-stone for improving prose-writing skills.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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The Problems with Contrived Writing Cannot be Overstated
Someone recently asked me about the meaning of contrived writing, and when I was coming up with some flagrant examples, this brought to mind a wonderful crossword puzzle phrase: deus ex machina. I couldn’t remember how to pronounce it, so I went to dictionary.com and an elegant female voice enunciated it with what I assume to be the perfect inflection. And the correct delivery is critical to express the gravity of this devilishly problematic writing nightmare, which is any artificial or improbable device resolving the difficulties of a plot.
The Meaning of Contrived Writing Must be Clearly Understood
Some people assume “contrived” relates to material that is “obvious.” This, too, is certainly a meaning; but in the context of this article, contrived writing relates to anything that would not occur in a particular scene without some sort of miraculous intervention. What makes contrived scenes particularly difficult to reconcile is that a great many genuinely superb writers have resorted to fantastic good fortune to preserve their plot lines. Unfortunately, this weak writing does not often save the story. It is important for a novelist to consider that a large number of readers will put a book down for good when a character’s actions are deemed to be beyond fortuitous.
We Might Expect Superman to Break Down a Door and Save the Editor of The Daily Planet, But Not to Do So on The Nightly News.
I refer to the writing of impossible scenes as the Marquez Syndrome. ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE is a terrific story and in large measure contributed to Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ Noble Prize for Literature. But did the story require the mysticism? For me, it detracted from an otherwise perfectly executed saga. But this wasn’t contrived, just a vignette he employed in the tale. Some writers, however, have taken his technique to heart and utilized preternatural events to cover a plot point instead of writing relevance into the scene. Contrivance is much easier than going back in the narrative and creating a set up for the overall plot element, with some authors forgetting that a single nonconforming thread can dog an entire story.
Even the Bard Wasn’t Immune
But Shakespeare had an excuse. Other than CORIOLANUS and a couple of other not so egregious exceptions, he apparently was forced for a number of reasons to stick pretty close to a two-hour time frame for his plays. Yet he made a mockery of the audience and later the reader with THE TEMPEST, a play that is one of his most acclaimed, and from which I remember several movies being made in just one short stretch (PROSPERO’S PAPERS, et al). With the ship being destroyed and the survivors stranded on the island in the opening act, the plot is horribly and irreparably vitiated when at the one hour and fifty-nine minute mark the ship is found essentially intact. At least this story was a fantasy from the outset, although Prospero’s powers as a magician never enabled the wrecked ship to appear in relatively sound condition. Chronology made this happen, not conjuring. Novelists are generally not on Shakespeare’s clock.
Not Many Can Claim the Skills of Marquez or Shakespeare
And since most of us don’t possess their genius for writing, or dozens of titles under our belts and an international following, we’re probably better served if we write our scenes–and most certainly our story finales–with acceptable possibilities. If anyone should remember the ending in the television series DALLAS, this is a prime example of what constitutes a contrived scene–and how devastating it can be to an entire work. Contrived scenes are a certain sign of lazy writing, and as harsh as this sounds, one of the best ways to guarantee never being considered for publication.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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In addressing unrealistic characters who destroy the integrity of a plot, my first thoughts run to Lieutenant Henry in A FAREWELL TO ARMS, who must have been an Olympic-caliber rower who just happened to be an ambulance driver. Here’s a fellow who rowed a small boat 35 kilometers in a driving snow storm, and at night no less, with his very pregnant lover in the bow of the craft.
Sometimes a Character’s Actions Are So Absurd They Are Laughable.
I often think of television shows from years ago in which a retiree wearing an ill-fitting business suit and wingtips chases down some teenage track star decked out in a warm-up and primo sneakers. My favorite was an overweight guy named William Conrad, whose show was actually titled JAKE AND THE FATMAN. He’d get into fisticuffs with the people he was pursuing, yet all any bad guy had to do was walk backwards and he could’ve easily avoided Conrad’s advances and apparent lightning-like reflexes. But, no, at every opportunity we had big Bill flaying away and saving the heroine’s good name. Then there was Buddy Ebsen, literally running down criminals a third his age when he was in his 70′s. But the mega-stud of all was Raymond Burr, taking out San Francisco’s dregs with his cane while seated in his wheelchair.
With the Aforementioned as a Guide, Shouldn’t Writers be Given the Same Leeway?
Television, movies, and plays all face time constraints. But a book doesn’t. And it isn’t necessary to protect a character for a readership when the person is well past his playing days. Yet some writers will go to all ends to maintain a character’s image, but is it realistic to think that a 65 year-old man can really jump barbwire fences, run down athletes half his age, and make love a half-dozen times in an 4-hour period?
The Character’s Actions Go Beyond the Boundaries of Anything Rational
Perhaps that’s the most significant aspect of all these ridiculous characterizations, since I don’t think it’s appropriate to classify them as characters. Is it practical to think that any healthy, sane 20-year-old hottie would have a legitimate physical interest in a 78-year-old man who in real life hasn’t had a natural erection in 15 years and whose sex act is usually measured in seconds and not minutes? On this same theme, do gorgeous young women–who aren’t hookers–really want to crawl in bed for recreational sex with men older than their grandparents?
Things Have to Make Some Sense
It doesn’t require a lot to make a reader happy. Today’s heroes and heroines don’t have to be molded like a Parson Weems’ character(ization), solve riddles like Holmes, make love like Robin Stone, row across a mammoth lake at night in a raging snowstorm like Lieutenant Henry, or remain in a serial murderer’s house when escape is readily available (I won’t name authors or books, but I bet each of you can pick many that fit this scenario). The latter is really what this article is about, since many notable authors have become lazy and let terribly weak plot elements stand on their own by way of characters who do incredibly stupid things that no one with half a brain would ever entertain. And all to protect the storyline.
Maybe Some Writers Feel They Have an Excuse
Perhaps some writers think oversaturation by the media has dumbed-down the rest of us. Or that history with the Barnaby Joneses of the world has softened readers to the point of accepting anything. Frankly, I think just the opposite is going to occur. With E-Publishing on the rise, and the Web enabling immediate feedback, only the best material will gain a foothold and flourish. Exceptional writing will once more become the norm, and the character-driven novel will still lead the pack. And stale characters will be winnowed away and their authors along with them. Grand thoughts, indeed, and perhaps foolhardy as well, but one can have faith.
Special Note: I hope no one was offended by the examples I provided in this article. There was no intent to impugn any person because of age, infirmity, or any other limiting factor. The sole purpose of the examples was to identify physical constraints that even the most liberal readers would consider beyond the ambit of literary license.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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I’m often asked by both clients and those who attend my creative-writing workshops about using material from other work, whether it be citing a title or reprinting an entire passage. Citing a title of a work is not a problem, unless it could be construed in a negative way as it relates to the text in which it shows up, but I always give the same advice, and this is to be certain to gain permission if material in a passage is going to be used, no matter how limited.
All Mainstream Publishers Have a Permissions Desk
The desk or department grants rights for quotations, excerpts, photos, illustrations, charts, etc. Each publisher has essentially the same requirements. But there can be variations, so it’s important to understand that no one size fits all. For reasonable guidelines to follow, here are the requirements from the Penguin Group:
- The title and author of the Penguin Group (USA) book from which you wish to use material.
- The description of the exact material you wish to use.
- The title of the story or poem.
- The page number(s) on which the illustration(s), chart(s), graph(s), etc., appear.
- The name of the publisher who will be publishing your material.
- The title and author of the book (or other publication) in which you wish to use the Penguin Group (USA) material.
You will need to provide your publishing details:
- The publication date.
- The size of the first printing or circulation.
- The format (hardcover, paperback, CD, e-book, etc.)
- The list price.
- The total number of pages for each edition of the book (or other publication).
If a magazine, the circulation and frequency of the publication in which you wish to use the Penguin Group (USA) material.
Photocopying material has another set of guidelines.
Permission Is Not Necessary Until the Material Is Published
Many times a writer will ask when permission should be sought, and the answer is not what most people think. The Permissions Desk is a very busy place, and the personnel do not want to be involved with being required to perform their due diligence until it’s determined that a manuscript is definitely going to be published. Yes, this means an author should have a “backup” in case the request is refused (or be prepared to delete the reference), but it also behooves a writer not to get hung up on receiving a release until the correct time in the process.
The Chronology Must Also Be Understood
Permissions departments commonly work with a six to eight-week window related to lead time. But, again, this can vary by house. Also, permission requests are generally placed in a queue in the order in which they are received, so unless a writer is a big-time author or a staffer owing a colleague a favor, most people can plan on a couple of months before getting a response.
A Final Thought
Writers get excited about wanting to cite known material, feeling this will enhance their credibility. No doubt, in some instances this is correct. But, overwhelmingly, the reference to another work, song lyric, etc., has nothing to do with the quality of the narrative. Also, if work is in the public domain, no release is necessary, regardless of who is publishing the material.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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For many years I’ve facilitated creative writing workshops in either public or private settings. These programs attract participants from 10 to 90 years of age who are from
a wide variety of economic, educational, and cultural backgrounds. My workshops have always been structured, and by this I mean I follow a syllabus. And in all the years I’ve facilitated developmental, intermediate, and advanced creative writing workshops, I have never allowed the reading of individual work unless it was directly related to a group assignment. As this article moves along I’ll explain why. But first some more setup.
At the Early Stages, It’s Definitely Important to Create Confidence
I think it’s fair to state that the vast majority of unpublished writers at every level need reinforcement. For this reason, a group of friendly folks sitting around a table and providing encouraging words is a good if not noble idea. But once a writer’s confidence-quota is reached, this budding author in my opinion would be better off taking courses at a college, such as a refresher in English 101, or English Lit 201, or Composition 301. I suggest supplementing this course-work by reading books on writing by experts such as Jacques Barzun, William Zinsser, and Theodore Bernstein, along with material that pertains to the respective genre in which the person is writing–and leave the critique groups to other amateurs.
In My Opinion, Amateurs Critiquing Other Amateurs is a Waste of Time
And this isn’t just my opinion. Every A-grade agent, editor, submissions editor, and publisher I know says the same thing. And many don’t just say it, they yell it. I offer this: Would a person with chest pains sit around and discuss his or her condition with a group of friends who all have experienced a heart attack–rather than immediately rush to a doctor? The answer is so obvious it makes the question absurd, yet these heart-attack victims are more capable of diagnosing their friend’s illness than amateurs who give advice to other writers via critique groups. Please think carefully about what I just wrote before considering me a snit for offering this analogy.
Again, I Support Critique Groups, but at the Early Stages of Writing Only
A few years ago, at my request, one of my workshop participants who holds a Ph.D. in English took over an established critique-group at the library where I was conducting my programs, and reading and critiquing individual material was a component of this person’s format. I never would have asked this individual to mentor the sessions if I didn’t feel it would be of value to her CV and to aspiring writers with respect to the confidence they would gain. Still, I’ve found critique groups to be a springboard at best, and I feel it’s important to sever the cord as soon as possible.
There is an Exception
If a critique group is led by someone who is involved with the major royalty publishing industry as a published author, working editor, or established agent, this changes the playing field. Then the group will likely receive competent advice. Yet even in this sort of setting, individual critiquing by the members of the group, other than passing comments,
in my opinion is not advisable or desirable for the reasons I’ve already mentioned. Let professionals do what they’re trained to do and apply their advice–while respecting the opinions of amateurs but regarding it for what it is.
Something Else to be Aware of
Another issue to consider is that just because someone is published, this doesn’t automatically mean the person would be a good editor. On the opposite side of the coin,
a quality editor, while possessing developmental ability and/or line editing skills, might not be a particularly good creative writer. This representation applies to all fields. Some highly regarded law professors are not the most adept attorneys in the courtroom or for certain sorts of trials. Not in any way excusing Mike Tyson’s actions, but ask him if he’d hire Alan Dershowitz again. Here was an example of a great legal mind in my opinion not being the right fit for a specific type of case and jury, the same as an editor who might not match up well with a particular manuscript or writer.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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When I was in grammar school, dangling modifiers were referred to as dangling participles, and I never understood what my teacher was talking about. All I knew was that sidewalks couldn’t walk and trees shouldn’t talk if they weren’t in a cartoon or if I wasn’t writing a metaphor. “Walking down the street, the skyscraper looked over the bay as I turned the corner,” or some such mishmash was generally provided as the example to learn from.
Not Beginning Sentences with Words Ending In “-Ing” Sounded Like a Good Idea
I decided that the easiest way to sidestep the problem was to never begin a sentence with a word ending in “-ing.” But then I learned what a gerund was and that shot my idea all to pieces.
First and Foremost, Understand It’s a Matter of Linkage
Any misplaced modifier implies a linkage problem, although for the purposes of this paper I’m discussing modifiers that are considered to “dangle” at the end of a sentence. Before considering anything else, analyze just how close your phrase is to what it is you’re intending to modify. Sometimes this can be corrected by inverting the order, but more commonly a simple comma placed prior to the offending “dangler” will solve the problem. The two sections that follow illustrate examples of both.
Restructure the Sentence
Last year, in my Newsletter no less, I sent a mailbox and not a letter to Belize. I wrote something like this: “Eduardo placed a letter to his mother in a mailbox and sent it to Belize.” There are an inordinate number of ways to write this correctly, but a simple remedy would be: “Eduardo opened the mailbox and placed a letter in it that was addressed to his mother in Belize.”
The Comma Is Often the Big Equalizer
In the overwhelming number of instances in which dangling modifiers occur, they can be neutralized with a comma placed before the offending clause, indicating it does not modify what it immediately followed.
In this sentence as written, the problem is apparent: “The lovers swayed to a bedroom locked in an embrace.” But if a comma is placed before “locked,” the lovers are correctly swaying in an embrace and not the bedroom, hence: “The lovers swayed to a bedroom, locked in an embrace.”
Identify What Is Being Modified
The key to not falling into the dangling modifier trap is to recognize what is being modified. Once the antecedent is identified, the sentence can be structured correctly.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
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The dash is indeed one of the most valuable forms of punctuation writers have at their disposal. But it’s misused in a way that’s diminished its value. First and foremost, it must be understood that the most common form of dash, referred to as an em dash, is formed by two hyphens contiguous to one another; or, via today’s word-processing programs, a single line approximately twice the length of a hyphen. Regardless of the configuration, both are defined as an em dash.
The Different Forms of Dashes
THE CHICAGO MANUAL OF STYLE (Edition 14), in sections 5.105 through 5.119, lists the various forms of dashes: the en dash, the em dash, the 2-em dash, and the 3-em dash. These sections in TCMOS also explain the various uses for these dashes, but before discussing the one definition that causes the most problems, it’s important to detail the numerous styles for this punctuation and their suggested applications in standard prose.
The En Dash
The en dash should be slightly longer than a hyphen, but before word processing most typewriters only allowed for a hyphen to substitute for this particular dash. This form of dash has manifold uses, including connecting numbers to dates, time, or other reference numbers: 2002-12; 10:00 a.m.-12:00 noon; and pages 14-23. But, and this is confusing, we usually see these examples I just cited via a dash that doesn’t often seem different from a standard hyphen, the latter which you see in these examples because I don’t use en or em dashes in their proper configurations because of the problems they can cause for word-processing software, which I’ll explain later in this article (this pertains primarily to the em dash).
En dashes also supplant the hyphen if one element of a compound adjective is open ended (what a horrible mishmash of rhetoric), which means there is a Chicago-New York train and a post-World War II era as examples. Please note that in both of these examples I also used a single hyphen to indicate an en dash. As I stated in the prior paragraph in this section, in correct typeset the en dash should be slightly longer than a hyphen. Technically, an en dash should equal to the width of the “n” in the typeset of the material in which it is used. Under the same parameters, the em dash should be the length of the letter “m.”
Applications for the Em Dash
Em dashes are used for amplifying. TCMOS offers a subtitle that states the em dash is also used for “explanatory and digressive elements.” I believe that most writers would be safe to stick with “emphasize,” as to me the other definitions are ambiguous. Simply, em dashes are used to set off material a writer wants to highlight for a reader: “John got up–it was the first time he had moved out of bed all day.”
Em dashes are also used in tandem around phrases a writer wants to emphasize: “John got out of bed–the first time he had moved all day–but soon went right back under the covers.” If commas were used instead of dashes, the reference to John’s action wouldn’t create the same impression: “John got out of bed, the first time he had moved all day, but soon went right back under the covers.”
Em dashes are commonly and rightly used to indicate an interruption in conversation, and there are some other instances in which an em dash can be applied, but these are more than a little confusing for many writers, as this would encourage authors to abandon commas, semicolons, and colons, which I wouldn’t want to condone. But these options are explained in sections 5.108-5.110 of TCMOS, should anyone be interested, as well as in section 5.116.
The em dash has also been used instead of quotation marks by many noted writers that include the likes of James Joyce and William Faulkner in their ranks, and in more recent years Charles Frazier of COLD MOUNTAIN fame. But unless an author can write like Joyce or Faulkner or Frazier, I’d eschew this technique when creating dialogue and stick with quotation marks..
The 2-Em Dash and the 3-Em Dash
The 2-em dash is used to signify missing letters in a word, such as in “What the h—-l are you talking about?” This can be via two sets of hyphens as illustrated in the example or two long em dashes as provided by word-processing software.
The 3-em dash is used to signify missing words, such as in “What in —— are you talking about?” This can be created with three sets of two hyphens, again contiguous to one another, or three single-line em dashes. Note that if the 3-em dash is used there should be a space before and after.
Both of these forms of punctuation are seldom used today, but they are correct and can certainly be placed in prose, as necessary.
So Where’s the Misuse of the Dash?
The best must be saved for last, and once again TCMOS provides a resource for the confusion. Section 5.106, next to its subtitle, “Sudden Breaks and Abrupt Changes,” reads: “A dash or pair of dashes is used to denote a sudden break in thought that causes an abrupt change in sentence structure.” TCMOS provides a series of examples, with the first one coming the closest to the definition: “‘Will he–can he–obtain the necessary signatures?’ Mills asked pointedly.” (Yes, TCMOS’s example included the grotesquely unnecessary adverb attribute.)
The definition in this subsection in TCMOS allows wide latitude and the impression that a dash can be used to indicate a pause in the narrative. Indeed, a dash can pause text, but it still accentuates–and that’s the rub. If a writer desires a pause, should a mark designed for emphasis be used? It can’t work both ways, and writers must understand that for all of a dash’s numerous varieties and multitude of uses, a pause is not one of them. And in no reference manual I could find does it state that a dash pauses text to indicate missing words, only that words were omitted. This is the difference. When dashes are used, words are skipped and the narrative continues, whether it’s dialogue or exposition. Nothing is paused.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
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Novelists sometimes have a great story on their hip that they’re bursting to tell, but a character in the tale is fashioned around a real person with negative traits. So the question is, what’s the best way to write about an unflattering characterization that happens to be true?
William Goldman Stated It Best
For anyone who might not be familiar with Mr. Goldman, he wrote BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, and THE PRINCESS BRIDE, among many other works. He mentioned in one of his memoirs that he’d written something which wasn’t necessarily unflattering about a man he’d known years earlier, but for whatever reason the person took umbrage.
Mr. Goldman suggested that no one write anything negative about someone–if the text might be identifiable with the person who’s being written about–until that individual is dead! As strong as that might sound, I think it’s great advice. And to take this one step further, the family of the person can also be offended, and if it could be proved that the material was a deliberate smear, there could be legal ramifications, especially if the party wasn’t a public figure.
Even the Most Innocuous Implication Can Be Misconstrued
Who wants to gamble with the way someone’s waffle might go down on a given day? I know a writer who had to print a retraction because he misstated a man’s occupation from 30 years ago. And this wasn’t as if the fellow was the president of a company and he classified him as a clerk. This offended party was a medical technician and the author wrote that he was a lab technician. Both professions at the time carried the identical pay grade, and each continues to be viewed as a prestigious position. Go figure, but the man was dismayed because he felt that the lab technician title was debasing.
More Serious Scenarios Can Occur
If all it amounted to was a retraction, most writers wouldn’t be too concerned about what they wrote about anyone. But if a character can be readily identified as the one depicted in the story, and the person feels libeled, let the fireworks begin! If a writer is considering someone as a template for a character in a story, and this person for example was a notorious shoplifter as a young boy in Chicago, my suggestion is to make the character a middle-aged woman in Tuscaloosa who reads fortunes. Seriously, it’s not worth the risk. Remember, if the person being written about knows the writer, this individual will be acutely aware of whom the author is modeling the character.
Wait Until the Person Is Deceased and Then Look Further
I touched on this earlier. Even after the person is dead, I’d take a hard look at the individual’s family and assess how the negative material might affect them. Only after every hoop is jumped through, and all the questions fully satisfied, would I then venture onto this turf. And I’d constantly ask myself if it’s worth besmirching this person’s name or family to try to sell my novel–when an imaginary character, adequately removed from the real individual and lineage, would serve my purpose just as well. Please think about this, as leaning to the cautious side of this equation might save a lot of grief and money down the road.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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I’m getting the question about too much description more and more of late. Writers become concerned about material that for them comes across as overwritten, and they want to know if there are guidelines which can be applied to determine a reader’s tolerance.
Why We Dislike a Book Isn’t Always Easy to Pinpoint
Whenever I think of material that is rich in detail, Jody Picoult and Tom Clancy come to mind. And those who have read my articles for any period to time are aware of how often
I cite both of these writers, since I consider each to be a true artisan at the craft of writing fluent prose.
Yet, I’ve read many rebukes from readers and critics who find their writing to be everything from laborious to just plain boring. When readers make these sorts of remarks, I always wonder how invested were they in the work to begin with? I’m going to guess, not very.
I Believe It Comes Down to Timing as Much as Anything
It’s not unheard of to be pleased with a work later in life that wasn’t enjoyable the first time around. I remember hating HAMLET in high school but loving it in college. The same with THE SCARLET LETTER. I despised it in junior high but liked it immensely when I read it as an adult.
When we read a story can have as much bearing on our feelings for the material as any other factor. Some readers will have a much greater appreciation for a quite detailed story when they also have the time to take in the width and breadth of what was written. Perhaps this sounds absurd because it’s such a basic premise, but I think it has merit.
The Attention Span of the Reader Is Important to Match to the Narrative
I can’t imagine anyone in a hurry wanting to read a Tom Clancy novel, any more than the same individual would be interested in breezing through CRIME AND PUNISHMENT or WINDS OF WAR. Those books take time to get through, and a reader should know this going in. The same with works by Jody Picoult or Tom Clancy. If someone wants a quick read, in my opinion these aren’t the authors to select. And once into the opening chapter of a book, with rare exception, it doesn’t take a large amount of reading to know what to expect the rest of the way.
But What If There Is Just too Much of a Good Thing?
How far into the capillaries should Ms. Picoult or Mr. Clancy be allowed to take us? No doubt, there is a point when enough is enough. But when we’re sufficiently wrapped up in a storyline, do we really care? Or, better yet, do we even think about it? It again gets down to how engaging we’ve found the story to be. If we are enamored with the material, we can’t get enough of it; if not, anything beyond the basics is aggravating.
One Person’s Manna Could Be Another’s Poison
Many readers might live and breathe Jody Picoult’s depth, yet others might hate every line of it. I’ve been to book signings at which one person in the audience asks if the author would consider writing more fabric into his characters’ backgrounds. But a half-hour earlier, someone else had buttonholed me in the parking lot to lament how irritating she’d found the same author’s writing–because he provided way too much detail about his characters (yes,I too wondered why she came to the signing).
What Does All of This Prove?
Probably not much. However, I’ve learned a quick way to fix the problem when a story becomes bogged down with minutia. By ignoring the exposition, including the interior monologue, and reading just the dialogue, I can sidestep the superfluous text while still keeping the plot in focus. In very few instances have I had to go back to the exposition to check for “missing” information. So when you’ve had enough of Brenda’s pining for Flynn or Agent W’s bomb-disabling technique approaching the one-hour mark, try moving on to just the dialogue. You might be surprised at how well this works.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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Transitioning Narrative and Developmental Arcing are Not Synonymous
Effective transitioning is the utilization of various techniques that enable a reader to move comfortably from one plot point to another. A developmental arc is generally much more detailed, and involves a character or plot element that needs to evolve for the story to maintain or gain strength. Developmental arcs often require extensive narrative, sometimes over many chapters, and at times can span the width and breadth of an entire work.
Using Arcs to Develop a Character for the Reader
If a writer is ever told that a character needs a developmental arc, this can be as simple as adding family history to the narrative, showing how the character lives in his or her physical environment, or providing the character’s thoughts on social issues that have relevance to the novel. Of course this can and often does require in-depth writing, but a lot of times strategically integrating snippets of these elements within the fabric of the story is all that is necessary to make a character engaging for the reader.
Using Arcs to Develop Characterization for the Reader
As with the requirements for a character to achieve “redemptive” status, characterizations can be treated in a like manner, although purists will argue that developmental arcs only apply to people. Historical references, physical descriptions of any pertinent aspect of the story line, opinions of a plot element via interior monologue, any or all of these techniques can be utilized to create solid development arcs. Simply, any link that can build the story for the reader is a candidate for use in this capacity.
What Is Not Enough and What Is too Much
If people are reading your early drafts and tell you they would like to know more about a character or story element, this is the best way of knowing that more work is necessary to “flesh out” certain aspects of your material. Unfortunately, lay readers don’t often look at these areas the way a professional does, or these people can often be too close to the writer and therefore not comfortable expressing their candid opinions.
Overzealous attention to detail can be just as much of an issue. But it seems it’s generally not as hard for a friend to tell a writer to back off rhetoric than it is to intimate that the author needs to add to it. However, this applies solely to potential arcing material, and is not meant to imply that a sheer volume words can provide a developmental arc for anything.
It’s All About Balance
Finding the equilibrium point for a story is an art form, and as much as anything why certain writers are better for certain readers. Which means that developmental arcing is a matter of degree, and like most everything in fiction writing, highly subjective. But if a writer is receiving lay reviews on his or her own work that indicate the characters aren’t adequately developed or the characterizations aren’t portrayed with enough depth, it would probably be a good idea to get a professional critique from a reputable editor who has experience with the genre in which your novel is written.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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The First Rule Is Still the First Rule
The very first thing that everyone learns about writing dialogue is that we can’t write exactly in the way people speak any more than we can speak in the identical manner in which people write. Yet I read material all the time in which good writers forget or stretch this axiom.
Let’s Begin with “Well”
Anyone who’s old enough to remember Ronald Reagan’s speeches–and he was nicknamed “The Great Orator”– is aware of how often he’d begin a line with “Well” and then an extended pause. It was his trademark, and so well known that comics copied it in their routines, and even the single word “well” would have a crowd in stitches. But “well” doesn’t work when writing dialogue because it soon turns into a tic.
One “Well” Per Narrative, Please
There are indeed times in the dialogue of a story when “well” is perfectly acceptable. Just not at the start of every sentence spoken by a character, or worse yet by a number of characters. Someone saying one time, “Well, I’m just not sure about that,” is a lot more palatable to a reader than a character’s, “Well, you need to go see Jerry,” followed by, “Well, I can see where that could be important,” and then, “Well, how did it go?”
If writers will read their dialogue aloud, the superfluous nature of “well,”–and its redundancy if this should be the case–will quickly become evident.
“Oh” Is the Next Culprit
As someone said once, “If ‘well’ doesn’t get you, ‘oh’ will.” And this is true. In everyday speech, people are constantly saying, “Oh, come on,” or “Oh, I don’t know,” along with an inordinate number of other phrases that start with “Oh.” Start a half-dozen lines in a story with “Oh” and the reader is usually long gone before the next half-dozen.
Then There Are “Ah” and “Er”
“Ah” and “er” do nothing for dialogue, and while I don’t like the use of ellipses in a story, I’d rather see them any day in lieu of an “ah” or an “er.” Anything that retards the flow of speech is bad, and these particular words are two of the major culprits.
Combine These Examples for a Very Mushy Rhetorical Stew
It’s very common for someone to say, “Oh, well, ah, I guess so.” But please don’t write it out this way. Instead, if you feel the pause is necessary to express to the reader, write something such as: Joan paused to think about it. “I guess so.” Or: Joan hesitated, then said, “I guess so.” Or even a simple: Joan paused. “I guess so.” This is an instance when a pause is just that, and the halt in the action defines what would have been said via “ah” or “er.”
“Hey” Has Only One Use in Dialogue
It’s common to see dialogue begin with “Hey.” This is another word that’s used as often as any to begin everyday speech but should not start a sentence of dialogue unless the character is yelling, “Hey, don’t walk out on me!” or “Hey, is Pete down there?” It’s not a word to use in standard runs of dialogue such as, “Hey, you know me,” or “Hey, you know what I’m saying.” (However, if you’re writing like Damon Runyon, “Hey, you know me,” was a particular character’s comical speech pattern, and this is a different issue altogether.)
Phrases Such as “You know” and “I mean” Should Be Avoided
Even when writing slang these phrases should be avoided, as they tend to slow the reader. The best way to view both phrases is in the same way we’re admonished when it comes to our personal speech, and this is to eschew their use. It only requires a few times of reading “you know” or “I mean” before the readability of the story is seriously affected.
“Listen” Is Perhaps the Worst Offender of All
How many times when we’re on the phone do we tell someone to “Listen?” As if the person isn’t already doing that, ha ha. People love to use the word, but it has no place when writing dialogue.
Hear Dialogue Read Aloud to Ferret Out Superfluous Wording
If the person reading the dialogue is hesitating, this usually means the text needs to be revised. I think it’s fair to state that the following doesn’t read smoothly: “Listen, ah, well, er, I mean, oh, hey, you know?” When one finally gets through that sentence, a question to ask is why would anyone really want to talk like this? Yet people indeed do–and all the time. Just don’t write it this way unless it’s a one-time line to show a character’s nervous behavior.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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“Dear” and “Honey” Should Lead the Pack
In normal conversation, how often does a person address a significant other by “honey” or “dear?” Of course these words are used often as terms of affection, but are they applied to the beginning of each sentence that’s spoken between two people, no matter how much either person cares for the other? Hardly, yet I’m often sent dialogue flush with ether word or both.
Sometimes These Words Are Effectively Used for Identification
Skilled writers can use “dear” or “honey” or “love” or other handles of affection to let the reader know who is being spoken to when there are more than two people in the conversation, but it doesn’t occur that frequently in most runs of dialogue.
A Paucity of Usage Is All Most Readers Can Tolerate
To illustrate just how overbearing the constant “outpouring of love” can be, I only have to point to THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT, Steinbeck’s account of Ethan Hawley’s relationship with his wife Mary, and others. On page one, he begins by referring to Mary as Miss Mousie, darling chicken-flower, and ladybug. On the last page of the penultimate chapter (none of his women are in the finale), Hawley addresses his latest flame Ellen as skookum (yes, skookum and not snookums) and finishes the fusillade with, of all words, the banal “darling.”
I always wondered if Steinbeck wrote “darling” at the end to illustrate in a sublime way the difficulty constant reference to any element can have on the reader, especially since this tic seemed to be crafted with such purpose.
A Way To Keep “Dear” and “Honey” at Bay
Collectively, words of affection are perhaps one of the few instances when an author can write from the perspective of volume exactly the way people speak (ignoring Steinbeck’s bulbous parodies in the work I just cited). Outside of the bedroom, or if one spouse or the other is trying to impress a dinner guest, how often is a term such as “dear” or “honey” uttered in the course of a day? There certainly are exceptions, but for effective dialogue authors would be wise to write terms of endearment with the frequency in which they are spoken in everyday life for most people. And this won’t mean that we will love our significant other any less.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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When Two People Are Speaking, Less Is More
It’s always crucial to make certain the reader knows who’s speaking, but when it is just two people, it’s not necessary for one to identify the other in every other sentence: “John, it’s wonderful to see you again.” “Martha, I’m so glad you feel that way.” “Why, John, I didn’t know you cared about me.” “Martha, I care about you a lot.”
This reads like something that’s made up be comical, but here’s the same material without the speaker identification in each line, set up by a simple phrase to begin the segment: Martha sat down next to John and said, “It’s wonderful to see you again.” “I’m glad you feel the same way.” “Why, I didn’t know you cared about me.” “I care about you a lot” In this, is there any question as to who’s speaking once it’s identified that Martha began the conversation?
A Character’s Actions Can Indicate Who Is Speaking
“Darn, this crate is heavy.” As Don pushed the heavy cargo in a cart, his foreman bumped into him as he was coming around a corner, almost knocking him down. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you making that turn.” Don smiled at his boss’s comment and got a tighter grip on the handles. “I’ve been doing this for so long, I know what to expect.” His boss nodded. “I guess, but I still should’ve been paying more attention to where I was walking.” He looked at his watch and then to Don. “Why don’t you stop in my office later today when you have a minute? I might have a new job for you.” “Really?” “Yep, I believe your attitude has earned you a promotion.”
In this material, there’s no question which character is saying what. And as with Martha sitting next to John and initiating a conversation that doesn’t require additional speaker attributes, a character can do common things, such as look at the other person, to indicate who’s speaking. Jack glanced at Joe. “You sure we can do this?” Joe shook his head. “Nope.” Or something like this: Joe threw his shovel in the ditch. Jack heard it hit a rock. “You don’t look none too happy.” Paul pushed up his Stetson. “I ain’t.”
Multiple Speakers Create the Need for Speaker Attributes
When there are three or more people speaking, direct speaker attributes, such as Don said or Martha said, must be used with greater frequency. But if the same two speakers are exclusively involved in an exchange, once they are identified for the reader, it’s not necessary to treat this as any different from the two of them talking to each other with no one else around. This only changes when another character enters into the dialogue.
Analyze the Way Your Favorite Author Handles Speaker Identification
This is the suggestion I always give in my creative writing workshops. If you like Cormac McCarthy or Nora Roberts or Nelson DeMille or Clive Cussler or James Patterson or Jody Picoult, grab one of their books and study how a major writer such as one of these structures speaker attributes and interior monologue so the reader always knows who is who. You will see a lot of good old-fashioned “he said” and “she said,” but you’ll also notice some masterful skill at adding variety to this most important aspect of writing effectively for what is often a sophisticated audience–you.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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It is important to recognize all of the various writing components that can be utilized
to develop and enhance characterization. Yet while dialogue is definitely one of these elements, it is often reduced to a lesser status. Here is a typical textbook definition that, via the specific omission of dialogue by name, diminishes this writing medium as a valuable means for crafting characterization:
Characterization is the process of conveying information about characters. Characters are usually presented through their actions, dialect, and thoughts, as well as by description. Characterization can regard a variety of aspects of a character, such as appearance, age, gender, educational level, vocation or occupation, financial status, marital status, social status, cultural background, hobbies, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, ambitions, motivations, personality, etc.
While dialect is mentioned, and this reference certainly indicates the use of dialogue,
the insinuation can hardly be described as comprehensive. Perhaps nothing can more adequately place the reader in the mind of a character than the dialogue attributed to that individual. Nor can we learn any more about an environment, whether physical or social, than through reading dialogue.
A Contemporary Novel with 100 Percent Dialogue
For an exercise in excellence in this medium, regardless of one’s liking or not for Stephen King (as a writer, I regard him as a super genius), DELORES CLAIBORNE is an extraordinary example of the use of dialogue to tell a story. And in this instance, the entire text is structured around Delores speaking, and without one word of interior monologue ora single adverb attribute.
Reading Suggestions that Demonstrate Outstanding Dialogue
GOD’S LITTLE ACRE, THE SOUND AND THE FURY, RABBIT RUN and TORTILLA FLAT are all classics that contain extraordinary characterizations portrayed through dialogue. For purely contemporary readers, anything by Elmore Leonard will be of benefit, however, GLITZ may be the book to parse first.
Many find creating good dialogue to be the most arduous aspect of their writing. And
it is hard to argue that straight dialogue can be inherent with problems. But when a writer considers dialogue as a means of communicating characterization, then the task can be much less daunting and a perfect way to present a story with greater depth and more definitive focus.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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It would be nice to relate that few writers ever have pacing issues. And as any novelist knows, the story’s tempo is often–as it should be–on the forefront of an author’s mind. But sometimes a story just doesn’t seem to be moving along at the right speed.
In the writing workshops I facilitated that were sponsored by the Palm Beach County Library System, budding authors often asked about ways to better pace their material. One of my suggestions was to insert dialogue if the scene is flagging. This, of course, isn’t always possible or even practical. However, I find this option is available more often than it isn’t. And this is another reason why learning to craft effective dialogue is important (read “paramount”) to any writer’s success.
Dialogue Can Promote “Showing” and Eliminate “Telling”
Another of the greatest benefits of developing dialogue skills is the inherent subjugation of the dreaded “Show Don’t Tell” dilemma. This is because dialogue automatically creates action, since the characters are speaking. As a bi-product, dialogue also encourages the writer to maintain an active tense and write around passive tense; i.e., “have been,” “had been,” “would’ve been”, etc.
Reading “Out-Loud” What We Write Is Never More Important than with Dialogue
In discussing dialogue in general, it is critical to understand that we can’t write like we talk, anymore than we can talk like we write. It is the ability to write between the two that makes for quality dialogue. And the best way to determine if the goal has been met, as in all writing, is to read aloud what was written.
And if it sounds bad the initial time we read it, it isn’t going to get any better, no matter how many more times we traipse through it. What will happen by re-reading is that we will memorize the lines or the pattern of the dialogue so we can read it more fluently. But the person who will be reading it for the first time is not going to have the author’s patience or persistence. Hence, if we stumble the first time and we wrote it, rewrite it!
Steinbeck and Leonard As Models of Great Dialogists
I wrote in an earlier Ezine article, “Four Authors of Classical Contemporary Literature Defined the Craft of Writing Perfect Prose,” and stated, as a dialogist, it is hard to dispute Steinbeck’s brilliance. In the medium of dialogue, if he is not considered the quintessential classicist, few would dispute that he is certainly near the very apogee of this element of the craft. However, from a purely contemporary standpoint, many, of which I am a subscriber, find Elmore Leonard the current standard-bearer.
Editors Often Consider a Writer’s Dialogue Skills First
Regardless of whomever and from whichever era a writer chooses to study material, many renowned managing editors have documented that dialogue is often the first aspect of a novelist’s ability they consider when contemplating a work for publication. That, in itself, should tell anyone the importance placed on dialogue.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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I’m often asked about the most common errors an unpublished writer makes. While it might seem hard to answer, I’ve looked at so much material over the years, regardless of how disparate the narratives might be, there are certain issues that always come to the forefront.
What aren’t the Big Five?
And I want to provide an answer that will be honest and make sense, because I’m confident no one is interested in reading about issues related to punctuation, POV shifts, tense, voice, and misplaced modifiers. So here’s my perspective of what would prevent a manuscript from being considered prose that only a friend or family member would pay to read.
Here are the Bugbears
If I parsed 100 drafts and totaled what I deemed to be the five most common major flaws that writers must avoid, the list would likely be topped by inadequate conflict, followed by poor pacing, unengaging characters, elliptical transitioning, and weak developmental arcing.
Now Work to Eliminate them
If a writer can design conflict and present it quickly, this will motivate the reader to
keep going. But if the story flags or the characters are uninteresting, no amount of conflict is going to maintain a reader’s attention. And if the writing from scene to scene is choppy,
or the entrance and exit of characters should be too abrupt, this spells doom for a story. Additionally, if the characters and/or characterizations aren’t adequately fleshed out, this will foul a narrative.
Short and to the Point
This article may be short and to the point, but the five issues are anything but quick fixes. A writer needs to parse his or her draft and pay close attention to each aspect of the five areas I’ve referenced. If one or more or more of them are suspect, a revision will be necessary for the material to be accepted by a quality agent or the publisher of a major royalty imprint.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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I don’t know when, on the writing curve, Stephen King or Nelson DeMille might seek editorial advice, only that it is documented that they do. So it begs the question, for the writer trying to break into the business with a major royalty publisher–and who accepts that a professional editor looking at the manuscript might not be a bad idea–when is the right time to hire a book editor.
Generally There Are Two Issues
For most people it’s a matter of time and money. Let’s look at the time element first. A common practice is for a writer to send a manuscript to an editor for a critique after it is felt that the material is in A-grade condition and ready for market–except for perhaps the slightest touch up. But if it is determined that there are problems with plot or character elements which cannot be remedied by modifying, deleting, or inserting a few sentences here or there, then the entire piece will often require a wholesale revision.
How Much Time Does a Writer Have?
If an author should seek an editor to review a story concept and its set up from an early point in the creative process, steps can be taken to keep the plot elements in focus. And the time saved can be substantial, since a rewrite can often require months. From a time standpoint, isn’t it better to catch any problems early–and rectify them–rather than spend considerable time on a draft that will have no prospects in its current condition? If a writer has the discipline to work with an editor during a manuscript’s developmental stage, this initiative can be a valuable time saving practice.
How Much Money Does a Writer Want to Spend?
No one likes to pay a second time for a process that failed initially. This is the most salient reason I can think of to justify bringing an editor into the fold at the start. The early-stage placement of a manuscript with a professional editor is almost always the most economical way for a writer to work, and usually substantially so.
Does Anybody Really Work This Way?
Unfortunately, many unpublished writers will consider an editor only after a series of rejections from agents, or publishers who accept unagented submissions. This article is not going to change the modus operandi of a lot of writers who are already ensconced within the publishing labyrinth. But I hope these contentions might motivate some others who read this piece to consider contacting a professional editor toward the beginning stages of the first draft and not when it is completed.
Editors Are Becoming More Flexible
As with most everything facing a writer who is hoping to become published for the first time, there is no one size that fits all. And while I hate to close an article with a disclaimer, it is important to report that many well-respected editors only want to see completed manuscripts. Yet it seems like more and more highly regarded professionals in the literary industry are acceding to this article’s primary premise, which is to encourage authors to present early-stage material for review.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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A short time ago I received a request to review an author’s query letter. It was awful. The letter was written in a structure that would make a seventh-grade English teacher cringe. And as is commonly the case with writers who are unfamiliar with the nuances of the publishing industry, the genre definition for the novel was incorrect.
A Monumental Mistake Compounded
While discussing how to improve the letter, one question led to another, when the author informed me that over time he had used SIX editors on his novel (he was dead serious). This floored me. How does a writer find a half-dozen editors on this planet who don’t understand the genre of the work they are editing? This ineptness by both parties (I’m lumping the editors together as one entity) brings up several issues that I feel a responsibility to address.
Anyone Can Claim to be an Editor
First, sadly, anybody can claim to be an editor. There is no formal credentialing. I know of people who cannot write but claim in their advertising to have helped dozens of writers get their novels into print, only to learn that every one of these works was self-published. I have had people attend my creative writing workshops who do not understand writing at anywhere near a professional level, but have “Editor” printed after their name on a business card. History is littered with editors making all sorts of outlandish assertions, such as guaranteeing a writer a contract with a major royalty publisher (which landed the principle of one editorial outfit in jail a few years ago).
The Problem With a Manuscript Can Generally be Attributed to One of Two Factors
I’ve found that working with clients is about honest relationships as much as writing. Which brings me to the next point, and this is the time when hiring an editor should not be part of the equation. If a writer has found a competent editor, and nothing has happened in a positive way with respect to the manuscript after exhausting all of the available avenues, there is likely something wrong with the concept for the market in which the work is intended–or the writing is not up to the demands of the industry. This last statement does not imply that the editor was less than scrupulous in supporting the manuscript, only that there is only so much anyone can do with a project. And my experience is that hiring another editor will not help.
Respected Editors Will Not Compromise Their Relationships With Top Agents
Another thought to bear in mind is that most industry-respected editors have long-standing relationships with A-grade agents. One reason for writers to employ highly regarded editors is the desire to have their manuscripts presented to those agents with whom these editors have a fellowship. This is particularly important today, because more and more of the top agents are not accepting unsolicited material, and the bulk of their referrals come from editors. But, emphatically, no editor I know of wants to deprecate his or her reputation by suggesting material that is not thought to be publishable.
The Best Advice Anyone Can Receive
Now back to the fellow whose experience with six editors fostered this article. I have to assume he was either quite naive or very unlucky, as somewhere along the way one of the editors had to have told him the truth about his writing. Or he didn’t want to listen and kept burning through editors in hope of finding someone who would like his work. There is no value in dragging along a corpse. Related to his fiasco, from my personal experience as a writer and not as an editor, the advice someone gave me decades ago is in my opinion still the best suggestion anyone can receive about a manuscript that is not going anywhere–and this recommendation was to write something else.
Two Critical Issues to Understand and Accept
I want to offer a final remark on query letters and another on editors editing manuscripts: For an unpublished writer, the greatest query letter ever written is not going to enable a deficient manuscript to become accepted by a major royalty publisher. And neither can a host of the best editors in the industry, short of one of them ghosting the entire piece, save writing that is flawed.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
One of the most misunderstood and therefore misused forms of punctuation is the ellipsis. It’s erroneously applied so often that it falls into the same category as the parentheses, which teeters at the top of the bungled punctuation list and is seldom dislodged except by the ellipsis as the chief syntax violator.
First, the Definition of the Ellipsis As It Pertains to Language
Dictionary.com defines an ellipsis as the omission from a sentence or other construction of one or more words that would complete or clarify the construction. The second meaning is a mark or marks such as ———, . . . , or * * * to indicate an omission or suppression of letters or words. (Note the triple em dash as the first mark, which is almost never used today.) I ask, does it say anywhere that an ellipsis indicates a pause?
Romance Genre Writers Created Their Own Meaning for the Ellipsis
Seriously, anyone who reads romances can easily assume that “… ” means a pause, which is unfortunately a horrible influence on a great many writers who are interested in crafting correct syntax. Does this really matter? I’m hardly the one to imply ellipsis misuse does or doesn’t have importance, but the use of the mark should be understood so it can be placed accurately as a tool in proper syntax.
Where Does It End?
Here’s a sentence of dialogue I pulled from LaVyrle Spencer’s romance novel HUMMINGBIRD: “Well, the truth is… because you’re a… a maiden lady.” Huh? In reality, these three dots should each signify missing words. But missing what words? “Well, the truth is you’re a big, ugly tramp because I assure you that you’re as far a cry as Heidi Fleiss from a, a maiden lady.” Or should it read, “Well, the truth is that you’re more than just a pretty face, because you’re even more special as a, a maiden lady.”
What’s Wrong With Allowing the Dialogue To Speak For Itself?
“Well, the truth is, because you’re a, a maiden lady,” doesn’t read a bit different to me from the run with the two ellipses. But if the author felt so compelled to indicate a pause(s), wouldn’t interior monologue have been a better choice than the dual ellipses? For example: “Well, truth is.” The old doc scratched his ragged whiskers. “Because you are.” He stopped again, as if to search for help. “A, a maiden, lady”
Use the Ellipsis to Indicate an Omission, Not a Pause
“She did do it, but she… I just can’t tell you the rest,” is overstating the point, but it’s an instance in which an ellipsis is the correct way to write the passage. An ellipsis denotes missing words, not a pause in the text, regardless of whether it’s dialogue or exposition.
One Final Remark
When using an ellipsis within a sentence, the acceptable mark consists of three dots. But when the ellipsis ends a sentence, use four dots, letting the final one serve as the period. And, yes, a question mark would be used if the sentence was constructed in the form of a question.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
A great deal is written about the importance of a strong opening for a novel, and especially if a fantastic hook can be created in the first paragraph or two. And much effort is devoted to the significance of a terrific title. But little time is spent discussing a brilliant ending. Yet doesn’t a powerful finish to a story deserve equal shrift with the aforementioned heavyweights? There are several options and techniques that respected writers have utilized to leave the reader with a lasting impression of a work.
The Poignant Ending is Example Number One
Some years ago I was discussing powerful endings for novels with a long-time mentor and friend of mine, Noel King, who I’m sad to note has recently passed away. My erudite friend mentioned that he’d never found anything more dramatic than the ending of A FAREWELL TO ARMS, in which the lieutenant must leave his wife’s body as it lay in a hospital bed after she hemorrhaged to death, also losing their unborn child in the process. Hemingway wrote: It was like saying good-by to a statue. I went out and left the hospital and walked back to the hotel in the rain.
I might also offer the ending in THE FIXER as an example of an incredibly powerful finish: Some, as the carriage clattered by and they glimpsed the fixer, were openly weeping, wringing their hands. One thinly bearded man clawed his face. One or two waved at Yakov. Some shouted his name. In THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME, I have never forgotten Hugo’s line describing Quasimodo’s remains when they were touched: When an attempt was made to loosen him from the skeleton which he clasped, he crumbled into dust. And I still recall my grief at the ending of Kipling’s THE LIGHT THAT FAILED: Torpenhow knelt under the lee of the camel, with Dick’s body in his arms.
Love Conquering All Seems to be a Certain Path to Success
At the opposite extreme is the Shakespearean approach to his comedies, in which love conquering all is the overriding theme. A Romance writer almost always provides a satisfying ending when the heroine gets her man. Or on occasion vice versa. Along these same lines, a writer of commercial fiction can be relatively comfortable if he or she can craft a story that fulfills the reader’s aspirations for the protagonist, regardless of the trials and tribulations along the way.
An Open Thread is Often a Great Mechanism to Close a Novel
If we think about some of our most widely read contemporary authors, the opportunity at the end of a story to provide the hint for a sequel is never overlooked. James Patterson does this as well as anyone, and a good reason why so many people come back for more of his material. (He has 31 #1 New York Times bestsellers as of this article, which is a record, and not bad for someone who many in the literati deem to be a poor writer.) Thomas Harris did a spectacular job with open threads in the Hannibal series, especially the ones that involved Lector always eluding the FBI at the end. Libraries are full of stories that begat stories, some of which were flagrantly presaged in the endings of their predecessors. Handled with care, this is a terrific way to close a novel, but it requires skill so the reader doesn’t feel shortchanged.
Which Brings us to the Denouement
Here is arguably the most common but quite often most difficult type of ending for a lot of writers to pull off well. I often judge the skill of the writer, and hence the quality of the story, by how much the author has to explain at the end for the reader. In some cases, a detailed denouement is indeed necessary to provide the reader with a fuller understanding of some of the less significant but nonetheless still important plot elements. But if handled poorly, a lengthy, multi-leveled denouement can be a sign of either lazy writing–or a self-exposition of the limitations of the author.
Select a Closing that Will Make the Reader Remember Your Story
The ability to create a memorable closing brings me to GONE WITH THE WIND, and Scarlett saying: “…after all, tomorrow is another day.” Here is a book of over 300,000
words that is filled with rich characters and grand characterizations, yet if I asked 100 people who read the book at any time in their respective lives to recite the last line, the majority would be able to do so, or at least come close.
Give the Same Effort to the Ending as to the Opening
The ability to hook the reader at the earliest possible stage of the narrative is an integral component of any novelist’s thought process. Experienced writers are always considering ways to motivate people to read their next book. There is no better method than by providing a satisfying ending to their current work, regardless of the technique that is used. And I’m convinced that notable writers spend as much time on their endings as they do on their openings. It only makes sense.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
During writing workshops I facilitate that are sponsored by The Palm Beach County Library System, I am often informed by the participants of the difficulties they are having with crafting a suitable ending for their respective novels. When this issue is raised, if the writer hasn’t already done so, I always suggest setting up a storyboard.
Just What is a Storyboard?
A storyboard is a diagram, either simple or complex, that if properly designed will contain a start, a middle, and an end. Consequently, in an of itself, it enables a writer
to concentrate on “filling in” each element. But it is also much more, since it provides a template from which to also create developmental arcs for both the characters as well as the scene depictions that are critical to the story line.
Some people say they can start a project and come up with an ending later. Others say this is bull, and in stronger terms. I don’t know what is the correct answer, but I do know many writers, and some quite good ones, who have discontinued a project because of frustration over not being able to “close the deal.”
If Not Already Determined, a Storyboard Forces a Writer to Consider a Conclusion
A writer can lay out the characters and the plot points via a simple macro format that establishes the major elements. Once the basic storyboard is accomplished, any degree of layering can be used, from the most basic to something that looks like it was generated by an astrophysicist at NASA. And by its very dynamic, a storyboard motivates the writer to come up with a conclusion.
A storyboard can be as simple as the example to follow and still be quite effective:
Joan meets John. Joan marries John. Joan is miserable. Joan shoots John. Joan escapes to Alaska. Joan changes name to Jenna and marries man who becomes governor. Joan/Jenna is blackmailed by ex-friend from back home who is aware of her past. If a storyboard is laid out to this point, most people can easily come up with a feasible scenario for an ending.
Setting up a storyboard can be a sound way of creating a working model with at least the guise of an achievable conclusion. Perhaps not what it will be in its final form, but an ending nonetheless, and a finale that the whole of the narrative can be written toward.
A Book on Screenplay Writing can be an Invaluable Aid for Understanding How to Design a Storyboard
Early in my Developmental Workshop Series I recommend a couple of books on screenwriting that I’ve found to help writers struggling with an ending for a story. SCREENPLAY, by Syd Field, is my favorite, followed closely by THE ELEMENTS OF SCREENWRITING, by Irwin R. Blacker. Both books have been around a long time and reprinted ad infinitum.
Field’s book includes a wide array of diagrams that I think can help many writers. And
if Blacker’s keen insights are applied, a writer can make great strides at learning ways to enable a story to reach a satisfying conclusion. Because, as Blacker says, “When the conflict is resolved, the story ends.” Perhaps not earth-shattering words, but within them is the key to the problem for many authors. Also, when a writer sees his or her plot via a storyboard, it’s not only a wonderful source of motivation, but it can provide a reliable means to help keep the narrative on course.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
Etymology and Its Importance to the Period in Which a Story Is Written
Timing Is Indeed Everything
I recently had the pleasure of editing a draft for a long-time client, with a storyline that took place in the 1600s. I found the plot immensely appealing, and everything was moving along swimmingly for me until I decided I’d better check some words to make certain they were in the lexicon of the period.
“Hooligan” Made Complete Sense
Since the tale involved an English protagonist during the King James Era, I assumed the use of “hooligan” was a nonissue. But after seeing my author using all sorts of descriptions for thugs in one scene, and applauding him for seeking a multitude of nouns to avoid redundancy, a little bird told me to check “hooligan.” I was stunned to learn it evolved in 1898 in a London newspaper article and was attributed to the “lively” Houlihan family (whatever that was supposed to imply), even though the word is decidedly Irish.
It Got Worse
My writer’s protagonist suffered many major events at sea, one of which left him injured and hallucinating. Now, I was certain that “hallucinating” was a word ascribed to the drug culture or perhaps the morphine days of the 1800s at its furthest stretch. Stunned again. The word developed from Latin circa 1595, and right within the timeline of my client’s story and therefore perfectly acceptable.
“Fellow” Was a Given, But “Guy” Really Threw Me
“Fellow” originated around 1050 or before. And since most everyone has heard of Robin Goodfellow from Shakespeare’s AMND, it’s fair to assume that “fellow” was certainly around in the 1600s. But do many people know that its counterpart “guy” wasn’t in use as a name for a person until the early 1800s, and the enactment of Guy Fawkes Day as a national holiday in Great Britain?
What Makes the Word “Guy” Confusing Is Twofold
Here’s what I found fascinating about “guy.” The actual “Guy Fawkes” event, in which this man and his co-conspirators tried to blow up Parliament, occurred in 1605, but the word was not coined in the U.K. until the early 1800s. And then it meant “a weird person.” In the U.S., few people knew of Guy Fawkes or his “Day,” and in the 1900s “guy” became what it is today, another name for “fellow.”
But to compound the problem of determining the correct chronology for “guy,” the word was originally coined in the mid 1300s to refer to a guide rope or apparatus used to steady something. Ever heard the phrase “throw me a guy line”? I used to think someone misspoke, really wanting to say “guide line.” Regardless, both are correct, but the issue with “guy” is that it was a word in the 1600s, just not one that referred to a “fellow.” Tell me that’s not a pistol for someone simply trying to write a good story without stepping on the gun barrel.
It’s Impossible to Look Up Every Word
If someone is writing material involving a contemporary setting, other than the most recent slang–which nobody cares about anyhow and is best to avoid–all words are in play. Words in existence at the time of the story only become at issue if analogous to Victorian-era vernacular in a tale depicting Elizabethan chivalry. Ignoring time-specific slang, I doubt many word historians would get too bent out of shape about a decade or two, but 250 years is tantamount to time travel when it comes to etymology, and traipsing around this sort of timespan, regardless of the era, requires great care.
As I stated in the prelude to an EzineArticle I recently posted, “Four Authors of Classical Contemporary Literature Defined the Craft of Writing Perfect Prose,” it would be absurd to proffer that anyone’s suggested reading material is superior to anyone else’s. I certainly make no such claim, now, only that I’ve found the novels that follow to be attractive for the reasons stated.
From a chronological perspective, the last time I employed this list with a workshop group, it was spread over 15 months. With an eye toward balancing the word count in
a reasonable manner, I segregated the material into three sections (hence, five months
to complete each section). Obviously, the important issue is to read and learn from the material, not the time frame associated with doing so, but people seemed to appreciate
it being set up this way, so I am doing the same for this article also.
If a serious writer will read (or reread) these novels, I don’t think it would be immodest to state that this person’s writing can only become more proficient. So, to good reading and better writing, here is the list, along with a brief explanation of the Purpose and Rationale behind suggesting this material.
PURPOSE
Reading from these selected works will provide the background necessary for understanding the nuances of form and structure.
READING RATIONALE
One of the most daunting problems with any structured reading program is currency. For this reason, every selection in the following group will be contemporary, in that none of the material was published prior to the 20th century. Although not limited to these, selections will encompass treatments related to Style Nuance, Story Threads, Pacing Elements, Theme Development Techniques, Dialogue Cant, Paragraph Style, Chapter Patterning, and Punctuation Subtleties.
“First 5 Month Reading Program”
Group 1 – Read one from group
1) A CURTAIN OF GREEN, by Eudora Welty. Seventeen short stories, some of
which will stand your hair on edge. Not horror, but what I refer to as pure noir writing,
even though it’s doesn’t fall into the traditional bleak and present danger definition. Ms. Welty won a Pulitzer Prize and about every other award one can win for literary achievement.
2) A SHIP OF FOOLS, by Katherine Anne Porter. Another Pulitzer Prize Winner.
A deep story that exposes human frailty, amongst a host of other things.
3) AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY, by Theodore Dreiser. Since I am from Indiana, I had to select one Hoosier writer. Just kidding. Mr. Dreiser’s story is a treatment of what happens when there is a hole in the social fabric.
Group 2 – Read one from group
1) GOD’S LITTLE ACRE, Erskine Caldwell. The book was one of the all-time best-sellers. In his lifetime, Mr. Caldwell’s books exceeded 80 million sales. This story will illustrate cant and how dialogue develops depth of characterization.
2) THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD, by Zora Hurston. Oprah made her famous, but a member of the literati rediscovered her much earlier, sadly, well after Ms. Hurston’s death. Many feel that the novel begins with one of the most brilliant opening paragraphs ever written. She also wrote a metaphor for the ages, which I won’t describe in the hope you will read the book. Again, this is a treatment of how cant in dialogue creates characters that we remember.
Group 3 – Read one from group
1) GLITZ, by Elmore Leonard. Known as much for his skill at pacing as for his dialogue, this is my favorite of his works from the perspective of the story line; liking it
so much that I’ve read it three times.
2) THE DA VINCI CODE, by Dan Brown. One of the best-selling stories of all time.
And for those who have enjoyed finding fault with it, I have not heard anyone disparage
its pacing. As you might have guessed, this group of stories is about pacing.
3) ANNE OF GREEN GABLES, by Lucy Maud Montgomery. Perhaps thought to be
a weird placement with the other works in this group, yet with a child’s short attention span, nothing exemplifies the need for great pacing than when writing in the Children’s genre.
Group 4 – Read one from group
LONESOME DOVE, by Larry McMurtry. He won a Pulitzer for this work and it is an example of fluent prose writing at its best. Also not a half-bad story.
THE POISONWOOD BIBLE, by Barbara Kingsolver. One of my all-time favorites.
A “layered” story with a fabulous history lesson as a byproduct.
THE THORN BIRDS, by Colleen McCullough. Another book that is an example of fluent prose writing at its very finest.
Each of these novels demonstrates what the phrase “writing redemptive characters” means.
End of Part 1
“Second 5 Month Reading Program”
Group 5 Read one from group
ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. A story that traces many generations of a family, from its beginning until its ultimate demise. Mr. Marquez won a Nobel Prize, in large measure for this work.
THE FORSYTHE SAGA, by John Galsworthy. Another Nobel Prize winner. A multi-layered treatment of a complex family tree, along with the perfect illustration of creating conflict between the lead characters.
Group 6 Read one from group
USA, by John Dos Passos. A novel in trilogy form that at first blush is a history
lesson which details the Socialist movement in America after WWI and beyond the Great Depression. But it is much more of a literary treatment than a historical novel. The format for inserting material so the reader can sense the cultural perspectives of the era is unique to anything I have read.
RAGTIME, by E. L. Doctorow. Multiple inserts on the order of USA, but the threads are carried throughout the book, making it impossible not to become invested with the various characters.
Group 7 Read one from group
THE CONFESSION OF NAT TURNER, by William Styron. Another Pulitzer Prize Winner. We have discussed this novel in our workshops because the entire work is written in back-story (or flashback, if you prefer), demonstrating that it can be done.
A COLOR PURPLE, by Alice Walker. Still another Pulitzer Prize recipient. This work is presented in its entirety in epistolary form, via a series of letters, and is another exceptional example of stylistic variation.
DOLORES CLAIBORNE, by Stephen King. In this instance viewed for his skill-sets
and not for the horror genre for which he is best known, he is a true genius who can write anything, as William Goldman expressed so well. This book is 90,000 words of pure monologue without one adverb attribute. This is a quintessential example of characterization developed via dialogue, and worth studying as to how this is achieved.
Group 8 Read one from group
TO THE LIGHTHOUSE, by Virginia Woolf. Once it is recognized that this is stream-
of-consciousness writing, it is not as difficult to understand or accept as a style. The importance is that a work such as this enables a writer to become more creative.
THE SOUND AND THE FURY, by William Faulkner. Should you choose to read the novel, read it from the beginning with a Norton’s Criticism so you can better understand
how Faulkner uses Benji to expand the stream-of-consciousness concept. Develop an understanding of this, and it will reward you greatly as a writer.
End of Part 2
“Third 5 Month Reading Program”
Group 9 Read one from group
HOT SPRINGS, by Stephen Hunter. Great tale, in my opinion, by a very skilled writer. Big change of pace from the recent material. Again, pay particular attention to the pacing.
ONE MORE SUNDAY, or CONDOMINIUM, by John D. MacDonald. Famous for Travis McGee stories. If you should choose to read him, either book will depict a topical story that is easy to read, again demonstrating the value of writing prose in a fluent manner.
Group 10 Read both
THE BLACKBOARD JUNGLE, by Evan Hunter. Hugely popular story that is important because of the visceral nature of the writing and the surprise ending.
KISS, by Ed McBain. Ed McBain is the pen name under which Evan Hunter writes his 87th Precinct novels. The purpose of each of these suggestions is to detect the subtleties in the style of both novels written for different genres by the same author.
Group 11 Read one from group
THE JOY LUCK CLUB, by Amy Tan. The story and the writing demonstrate ways
to incorporate a foreign culture into the fabric of a work through the eyes of several characters.
THE RIVER SUTRA, by Gita Mehta. Another instance of bringing the reader into another culture.
THE GOOD EARTH, By Pearl Buck. She did not win a Nobel Prize for nothing. If
you have never read this story, it is not the Pollyanna some people think by the title. An incredible work of art expressing some harsh aspects of the Chinese culture and that there can be children in any family who do not respect what their parent’s have had to endure to provide a better life.
Group 12 Read all three
THE STRANGER, by Albert Camus.
THE VICTIM, by Saul Bellow
STEPPENWOLF, by Hermann Hesse.
What I find so exceptional about these novels is that this is the same storyline treated
in a different way by three people who have each won a Noble Prize for Literature. See how this triumvirate of brilliant writers handled the identical theme.
Group 13 Read one from group
A THOUSAND ACRES, by Ann Smiley. Another Pulitzer Prize Winner. Conflict that expresses writing for dramatic effect at its best. The easiest of the three books in this group to read. And I wish I had Ms. Smiley for a neighbor.
BEACH MUSIC, by Pat Conroy. If you can stomach a dysfunctional family at its worst, this story brings out some of the best writing anyone could ask for. Just don’t expect a warm fuzzy feeling when you finish it. But the characterizations are spectacular, and you’ll learn something from reading this book.
BREATHING LESSONS, by Anne Tyler. Again, a Pulitzer winner, but this time a story without a redemptive character, proving once more that someone can write against the grain and be successful. The importance of this book is its brutal honesty.
End of the Suggested Reading Program to Improve Writing
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
One of the first remarks many writers hear from an agent, editor, or publisher is
the need to flesh out certain characters. Most of the time the request is easy enough to understand, but there is often a great deal of confusion about the best way to accomplish this.
A Textbook Definition of Characterization
Characterization is the process of conveying information about characters. Characters are usually presented through their actions, dialect, and thoughts, as well as by description. Characterization can regard a variety of aspects of a character, such as appearance, age, gender, educational level, vocation or occupation, financial status, marital status, social status, cultural background, hobbies, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, ambitions, motivations, personality, etc.
Yes, Characterization Covers a Lot of Ground
As everyone recognizes from the scope of the list, characterization is a broad platform. And this in itself is why fleshing out a character can be viewed as a daunting process. But the task should be considered part and parcel to the integrity of any character written into
a storyline. So what is the best way to accomplish this?
Two Choices Are Available–the Burst or the Subtle Implementation of Information
There is no way to reasonably imply that a sudden burst of information is not a good idea, since this is one of the few methods by which a peripheral character can be presented to a reader. Consequently, upon a secondary character’s introduction, a few sentences that provide detail are often all that’s necessary. Here is an example:
Akeem Walker had attended college on a basketball scholarship, but was cut from the team. The coach cited his lack of height, since he was 5-feet-11-inches tall, yet with his exceptional athletic skills, and bulldog-like build and demeanor to match, his family wasn’t buying it. They thought drugs were involved, since Akeem exhibited wide mood swings whenever he came home. Three divorces in ten years hadn’t assuaged their opinions, which were supported by his frequent run-ins with the law, most stemming from his narcotic’s use. But now the game had changed, since he was charged with possession with intent to distribute and jailed five blocks from where he grew up in the Bronx.
The reader now knows quite a bit about Akeem, and anything else can be expressed by his actions if he should resurface in the story.
Fleshing Out a Major Character Is Often an Ongoing Process
It seldom seems to work when an author tells the reader everything about a major character at one time, since the character’s actions then have to constantly exceed what was depicted if the reader is going to maintain interest. Here are examples of material that could be provided along the way which would help flesh out a significant character:
1) Not even panting hard, John placed the 350-pound barbell back in the support. 2) He carried his young baby as if she were a carton of eggs, and smiled at his wife and kissed her cheek, careful not to smudge her makeup. 3) John once again looked at his watch and swore. He was never late. 4) John glanced in disgust at his dress-shirt’s frayed cuff. 5) John kicked the side of his stalled car, which he’d wanted to replace, but with the new baby his money was…. 6) John adjusted the sight on the rifle and pressed the trigger with the same control he maintained when handling his young daughter. 7) Now John could have the things he wanted, his wife and child no longer holding him back.
Each step of the way, the reader learns something new about John. He is strong, loves his wife and daughter, is fastidious, is financially strapped, has a temper, and his family is keeping him from meeting his perceived needs. Developmental arcing that builds as the story unfolds is the key to creating strong characterizations which satisfy the reader.
The Boundaries Are Limitless
Some people contend that readers can indeed learn too much about a character, but for those of us who like in-depth writing on the order of Jody Picoult’s, we don’t find this to be the case. The more we learn, the better. But, then again, we’re seeking detail in a writer of this style of work. The same is true if we read a Pat Conroy novel. And while Mr. Conroy enables the reader to learn his characters more often through actions and dialogue rather than interior monologue, both of these remarkable writers provide an exceptional experience, albeit with different techniques.
Use What Works Best
Most writers know their strong suits (as well their limitations, whether they choose
to admit them or not), and it’s important to craft stories by utilizing what works to the plot’s–and therefore the author’s–greatest advantage. And for most everyone’s work, this involves analyzing the depth to which the characters have been presented to the reader.
At different points in a narrative, it never hurts to ask, “How much does the reader really know about John or Mary or Frank and Jean?” Then, should it be thought that more information would be beneficial, it’s simply a matter of going back, or moving forward, and fleshing out the character(s) via the technique the author is most adept at utilizing.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
This a companion piece to the material I’d recently written on techniques for fleshing out a character. And while certain components are the same, many techniques for crafting fuller scenes are quite different.
Consider Fitzgerald’s Technique of Loading up the Start of the Narrative
In creating a lasting scene for the reader, it can and often requires a substantial set up. Literature’s greatest writers have earned their reputations by possessing this ability. In my opinion no one was better at crafting an opening scene that was strong enough to carry an entire story than Fitzgerald. For me, the start of TENDER IS THE NIGHT is as good as it gets. I have never forgotten Fitzgerald’s description of the cupolas atop the old villas along the beach, which he likened to rotting water lilies.
Then he spends a couple hundred words on the physical scenery and people who inhabited this area on the French Riviera, before settling on a mother and daughter–the point when the real magic begins. Readers already feel they know Rosemary Hoyt, even though she’s just been introduced. This is what fleshing out a scene is all about, because soon afterward the reader has no problem accepting everything about Dick and Nicole Diver, since they enter the story as homogeneous plot elements.
Hemingway Used a Paucity of Words to Say a Great Deal
Hemingway used what some describe as terse writing, yet he was able to craft such skillful exposition that his narrative style won him both a Pulitzer and Nobel Prize for Literature. His short stories are wonderfully emblematic of his skill. THE SNOWS OF KILIMANJARO is a perfect tale to study, since the physical scenery is the story, which starts with a page of dialogue broken only by a brief description of some birds that are referred to as filthy. The single word “filthy,” which the reader learns is a metaphor having nothing to do with unsanitary conditions, sets the scene and ultimately the mood for the entire piece.
Scene Development and the Physical Setting
Everyone has a favorite writer for one reason or another. If a person likes tremendous depth in both characters and the scenes that surround them, Jody Picoult, Pat Conroy, and Barbara Kingsolver come to mind for many of us. But for pure scene creation, I’m going
to suggest someone who is not often considered these days, and this is Emile Zola. Read NANA, for example, but forget about the protagonist and just focus on how Zola sets up his story from the perspective of the physical environment. The streets, the shops, the weather, the attitudes of the people; each element creates a powerful image as the story moves along.
It’s Solely a Matter of Imagination, Since Fleshing Out a Scene Can Take Any Direction
Fleshing out a scene might require the description of a village, the interior of a building, the heavy perfume people are wearing at a Broadway opening, a little boy’s tattered clothing, the street argot a gang of ruffians is using, an old man’s gait, the sounds of the night, the heat of the day, the cars on the street, the commotion in a mall during a holiday, a quiet wind, the bitter cold, a baby crying incessantly, a roar from inside a stadium, a cacophony of explosions from afar, the musings of a philosopher sitting on a park bench, the attitudes of the townspeople after an election, the poor design of an intersection, a pastor’s avuncular disposition, the lawlessness of the inhabitants in a border town, the joyous atmosphere at a wedding reception, and on ad infinitum.
Fleshing Out a Scene Is As Much about Tempo As Anything
The most important thing to take away from this article is that the opening scene will most often set the mood for an entire story. And if a writer will take the time to read some of the works I suggested in this article, this will enable a solid understanding of the different options that are available to maintain or advance the desired characterizations along the way.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
A writer can start with THE CHICAGO MANUAL OF STYLE and move from it to any number of academic works on what a manuscript layout should look like. But adhering to the following eight suggestions will assure an acceptable format for almost all commercial fiction.
Hint Number One – Your Name, Page Number and Book Title in the Top Left Corner of Each Page
In the top, left corner of the page, many editors prefer your last name followed by a hyphen and the page number, and one single space below this, the title of your book. Then three single spaces below this (if you’re not beginning a new chapter, which I’ll cover later) begin your narrative.
Hint Number Two – Double-Line Space the Narrative
No one I know will accept a single-line spaced manuscript, and there is good reason. In the days of the covered wagon, when everything was edited with a pencil, the suggested corrections were made between the lines. Many of us still prefer to work this way, and the format is paramount when line-editing material. Plus, most people find double-line spaced copy on an 8 1/2″ x 11″ sheet of paper much easier to read and therefore more comfortable to work with.
Hint Number Three – Double Space After a Period
Double spacing after a period enables room to annotate punctuation changes and draw lines to move sentences around. I am aware that some people are saying this is “old school,” and therefore the double space after the period is no longer necessary, but every editor I know prefers or demands it, as do I.
Hint Number Four – Indent Paragraphs 1/2″
Most word processing programs seem to use a 1/2″ indention as standard, but I often receive manuscripts with erratic or inconsistent paragraph indentions. If you always indent 1/2″, then your text’s appearance will be consistent and this will also enable you to “fudge” when you want your text to look its best from an aesthetic standpoint.
Hint Number Five – Never Justify Text (Except for Chapter Delineations)
Under no circumstances should a manuscript be submitted with justified text. This makes line-editing a nightmare (read “impossible”), since extra spaces between words are something a line-editor flags.
Hint Number Six – Locate the Chapter and Its Number in the Center of the Page
As with unusual or inconsistent indentation, I receive a wide variety of chapter set ups. My suggestion is to type out the word Chapter with a capital C and follow this with the number 1, 2, 3, etc., one space after the word; i.e., Chapter 1. This isn’t as Mickey Mouse as it seems, because this differentiates a Chapter 1 from Part 1, for example. The Chapter designation is a location in which centered text is not only acceptable but desirable.
Space the chapter identification down however far you desire with an equal number of lines below it before your begin the narrative. Five single spaces from the book title in the top, left corner to the centered chapter identification, then five single spaces to the beginning of the narrative, is a good template.
Plus, this again provides room to “fudge,” if need be, during later revisions and not require a writer to have to repaginate an entire chapter–or even the entire book.
Hint Number Seven – Use 12 Point Times New Roman or Courier Font
Many in the publishing industry seem to recommend these fonts. Also, if a writer sticks with either Times New Roman or Courier, this could save having to manually go through an entire manuscript to clean it up should it have to be changed to either of these font styles. Because, even today, with all of the word processing genius that’s out there, different fonts don’t often wrap properly when the entire text is converted from one font style to another.
Hint Number Eight – Leave an Extra Double-Spaced Line at the End of Each Page
If you choose to ignore everything I’ve written, please don’t disregard this idea: Leave an extra line or even two at the end of each page, especially during the early drafts of your work. Meaning, instead of typing to the last line, which will generally be line 24 of double-spaced copy, type only to line 23. This has nothing to do with editing, but will enable you to revise and often not have to repaginate work, thus saving a huge amount of labor.
If you follow the suggestions outlined in this article, you won’t have any difficulty with 99 percent of the editors, agents, and publishers out there.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
I never realized the problem with writing a novel that fit in with many genres until I received a rejection many years ago from a publisher who had at one time been my editor. She told my agent that my thriller fit medical, military, and political genres and her imprint’s guidelines were too restrictive to support a book such as mine. Of course I was crushed and couldn’t understand such lunacy.
Readers of Certain Imprints have Specific Expectations
It required many years before I finally accepted what I’d been told, and I feel what I eventually understood is worth passing on. First and foremost, it might be obvious that a person reading an Avon book expects a Romance, and a particular sort of story with a specific set of characters. And it’s just as obvious that readers of Pinnacle thrillers anticipate a mass murderer, killing victims in a gruesome manner “on stage,” while pursued by a cop who will have the tables turned on him or her, and this person’s lover will also be brought into the fray.
Platforms have Little or No Wiggle Room
As the latter example indicates, a single murder wouldn’t work, nor would a potential catastrophe of cataclysmic proportions. For a book to be accepted by Pinnacle, there must be a heinous mass-murderer on the loose, and the story needs to contain a traditional law enforcement element pursuing the evil-doer. So, no virus can be about to be unleashed or there can’t be an imminent nuclear threat, along with some prefabricated agency’s personnel trying to save the day such as with 24.
If a Genre is Not Specific to the Story, a Myriad of Problems Can Develop
I’m often faced with having to explain to my clients that their respective books not only fit into multiple sub-genres, but cross the lines of major genres too. I find this particularly common when someone is writing YA material that begins as a Mystery and then turns into pure Fantasy. Or YA material that suddenly depicts a murder or a sex scene in somewhat graphic terms, making the work unsuitable for young adults yet overall too soft for the adult market. Another problem area is Adventure that becomes Sci Fi. If you bought what you thought was a James Bond type of story that suddenly became Dr. Who, how would you feel about your purchase?
Distinct Boundaries Exist
I hope this is now starting to make sense for readers of this article much quicker than it did for me many years ago. There are specific guidelines that publishers expect their stories and therefore their authors to follow. And now with all the sub-genres, these parameters are more restrictive than ever. So when I suggest that writers approach only those agents or publishers who have placed or published material in the genre or sub-genre in which their story is written, there is a definite method to my madness.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
Gerunds and Gerund Phrases
First, what is a gerund? Dictionaries seem to also use this brown paper bag definition, so I’ll stick with it as well. In the simplest of explanations, it’s a verb that functions as a noun.
Gerunds Are Generally Easy to Spot
They always end in “-ing.” This is one of the few rules in all of English that’s absolute. And most often they are found at the beginning of a sentence, but this isn’t always the case, so this is far from definitive. [To be clear on the "-ing" statement, many components of common syntax can qualify as gerunds phrases in one way or another and don't have an "-ing" in them. For a comprehensive look at this, I suggest studying pages 24 through 47 in A HANDBOOK OF ENGLISH GRAMMAR by R. W. Zandvoort. Anyone who parses this material will notice that Professor Zandvoort fits a seemingly inordinate number of clauses into a plethora of gerund categories. But for the purpose of this short paper on the topic, I'm referring to the gerund bearing "-ing."]
Here Are Some Examples of Gerunds
1) Dribbling helps a basketball player develop good hand/eye coordination. “Dribbling” in this instance functions as a noun and is the subject of the sentence. 2) Running is great exercise. “Running” is considered as an event in and of itself and therefore takes the form of a noun, just as the dictionary definition indicates it would.
What About Gerund Phrases?
These can be a little trickier to isolate at times, but if we take the first two examples and expand them and then reduce them to their respective “gerund denominator,” it becomes a less daunting exercise. 1) Dribbling fast and switching hands helps a basketball player develop hand/eye coordination. “Dribbling fast and switching hands” is a phrase that serves as the name of an activity, albeit a compound one, but still performs the role of a noun. 2) Running long distances can be good for your heart. In this sentence, “Running long distances” is looked at as an event unto itself and therefore accepts the role of a noun.
Gerunds Aren’t As Uncommon As They Might Seem
Close readers will notice that much current material contains gerunds in the possessive form because of the word “being” within the construction of each respective sentence in which this element occurred. And in many quarters it’s considered desirable to incorporate “being” in a gerund phrase, but it must be accepted that this isn’t always possible.
Revise the Sentence Without “Being” and the Possessive Gerund No Longer Exists
Take this grammatically incorrect sentence that many people, including yours truly, think sounds just fine: “It was because of Richard being held by the police.” This should be written: “It was because of Richard’s being held by the police.” But the latter construction is awkward, so it’s perhaps best to revise this to read: “It was because Richard was held by the police.” In this syntax, the gerund phrase is eliminated and word impropriety is a nonissue.
Then There’s “Him” and “His”
Here is the wrong construction: “I’m not happy with him dating my daughter.” This can be repaired by substituting “his” for “him,” thus: “I’m not happy with his dating my daughter.” (“His” of course is possessive.) One might argue that “him” reads better, and the best way to fix this once and for all is to write: “I’m not happy that he’s dating my daughter.”
Gerunds Have Fostered Considerable Debate
When gerunds are used incorrectly they create what grammarians call a “fused participle,” and for anyone who wants to research this, there are two well-documented schools of thought from bastions of the King’s English. On one side there’s the iconic H. W. Fowler, and on the other the position championed by C. T. Onions (yeap, that was his name) and Otto Jerpersen.
It gets down to what’s correct, and to which syntax has been influenced to the point of acceptance. As indicated by this article, if text becomes too complicated or cumbersome to read, it’s best to revise it and avoid the gerund issue altogether, especially in the possessive form.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Simple Words Can be the Greatest Culprits
If anyone guessed the word “actually” would be atop the list, that person would be right. It’s one of those words that has no place in a novel, any more than the phrase “as a matter of fact.” Yet, I would be lying if implied I hadn’t contemplated using either the word or the phrase at one time or another. But I didn’t, and you shouldn’t either.
Another disastrous word is “really.” I mean, really, when would any author write “really” into a sentence in a novel unless it was being utilized to really illustrate the dialogue of a valley girl from the 1980′s? Ignore my feeble attempt at humor, but “really” is a word that’s easy to slip into a narrative. Again, don’t let it.
Adverbs Can Become a Nightmare for an Otherwise Quality Draft
When I review a manuscript, I’m not as big a stickler in the arena of adverbs as many editors. Of course it depends on the genre, but for commercial fiction an occasional “easily” or “slowly” is not going to give me the willies. But some adverbs are abominable when used without consideration for the subject or scenario they’re modifying.
My least favorite is “suddenly,” because very few things in life don’t take place in a sudden manner. “Mary suddenly jumped up from her seat when the bee stung her.” How else would she do it? Would she announce while in pain that she was going to leap from her chair in a couple of minutes? Here are two more lollapaloozas: “The young boy accidentally got lost”. How else would someone get lost? On purpose? “The soldier carefully walked through the mine field.” Does anyone think he’d do this any other way?
Then There Are Those Words That Can Only be Used Once Per Story
I read a raw draft recently that was quite well-written except for the author’s penchant for giving a thesaurus a workout. This person used words like flabbergasted, mastication, serendipitous, lascivious, and a host of others of the same ilk. The words were fine in the context in which they were placed, but repeated in the course of the narrative.
I remember reading about four people who were flabbergasted at what they’d witnessed, two men having mastication problems while dining, two serendipitous meetings, one at sea and another in a department store, and three lascivious comments made at a sorority dance, a movie, and a wedding rehearsal, respectively. Some words, like mastication, are good only once per story–and perhaps just a single time during any writer’s long career.
A Tic by Any Other Name Is a Tic
When a word becomes annoying to a reader, this is just like being bitten by a live tic. If we read “actually” a half-dozen times, don’t we “actually” often want to put down the book for good. “Carefully” closing the door so the baby won’t wake up sometimes makes me want to throw the book against the wall out of sheer frustration–so the author wakes up. If my character is flabbergasted on page 3, I hope he will not be that distraught again on page 293. And if the neighbor’s maid in the story is dressing seductively on page 11, I hope she is not seductively attired on pages 27, 67, 107, 256, 299, and 343.
Tics Can Be Just As Hard to Remove from a Book as They Are from a Pet
Most writers have a difficult time seeing redundancies in their personal work. This is only natural because we tend to write what sounds good to us, and we might, for example, say “actually” in our normal speech. I employed a salesman once who couldn’t speak a sentence it seemed without the word “basically” in it. And he wrote the same way. When I jokingly pointed it out to him, he was stunned that he’d fallen into this rhetorical malaise. An odd aspect of this scenario was the ease in which he remedied this once he thought about his overuse of the word.
There’s a Time to Ask for a Little Help
Some authors might catch most of the words that stand out when they read their work out loud. But others, who are on a never-ending quest for the perfect sentence and constantly revising their material, often have a draft that reaches a point when it’s impossible to recognize flaws such as tics and words which are memorable due to their rarity or flamboyance. When a manuscript reaches the point of “I can’t see it anymore,”it’s likely the time to ask someone to read the draft who has a legitimate understanding of what to look for.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Writers are always seeking ways to separate themselves from the pack. Today, elevating oneself is not only desirable but a necessity if an author is to have any hope
of becoming published for the first time by a major house. The questions is, how?
Sometimes the Simplest Words and Phrases Can Make a Substantial Difference
A talented line editor who is an affiliate of mine worked through one of my novels recently and made several suggestions that I feel are worth repeating. These modifications provided the theme for this article, and involved “how” and “of,” along with the need for consistency when using words such as “toward” and “among.”
Determine the Instances When “the way” can be Substituted for “how”
There are instances when two words are preferable to one, and this often applies when “the way” is substituted for “how.” Here are two examples and their counterparts: Can you tell me how Mr. Jones was acting differently during the past two weeks? Can you tell me the way Mr. Jones was acting differently during the past two weeks? I liked how the thin lines along her mouth depicted anything but age. I liked the way the thin lines along her mouth depicted anything but age. In the second example in particular, “the way” adds allure to an otherwise bland run.
“Of” Can be Problematic When it’s Superfluous
The word “of” is being accepted almost to the point of idiom in sentences like this: “He spoke in as calm of a tone as he could.” The correct syntax should read: “He spoke in as calm a tone as he could.” Or this: “I never realized how good of a friend he had become,” which should read: “I never realized how good a friend he had become.”
“Toward” and “Among”
There are indeed times when “towards” sounds better than “toward” and “amongst” has a better ring to it than “among,” but consistency is important. Thank goodness that checking for consistency is now an easy task as a result of the “Find and Replace” button in almost all word-processing programs.
Then There Is “Over
Long ago I broke the habit of using “over” when “during” was correct, but I still find myself using “over” when “more than,” “longer than,” “greater than,” etc., are better choices–if not proper grammar–in many instances. In defining periods of time, for example, it’s desirable to write that something took more than an hour rather than something took over an hour. Likewise, longer than a month should be written instead of over a month, just as greater (or more) than a mile is correct and over a mile is not.
Don’t Stop with These Examples
In this day and age, every possible opportunity must be exploited to gain an edge, and sometimes even the subtlest of nuances can enable a text to illustrate accomplished writing and enable its author to take a major step in the right direction. And while there are indeed a great many more examples of lazy rhetoric than what I mentioned in this article, paying attention to just the few words and phrases I’ve listed can make a major impression on an agent, publisher–and reader.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Everyone is exposed to the common bugbears in English in grammar school, then as we become more educated we learn that the rules aren’t universal, nor are they applied uniformly. This article deals with some elements of our language that seem to have become more confused over time.
“Less” and “Fewer” Lead the Pack
Let’s start with “less” and “fewer.” We all know that lesser is used for things that can’t be counted and fewer for things that can be quantified. And everyone has read the rebukes leveled at supermarkets when the sign for the express checkout line reads “ten items or less” but should read “ten items or fewer.” After all, counting ten items certainly means the number can be quantified. But what about writing a comment in 50 words or fewer? Has anyone ever seen that? Both 10 items or less and 50 words or less are idioms that are overlooked because they are used so often that even some experts accept them. Now it’s all clear, right? Maybe not. Use less with plural nouns that refer to time and money, but not people: Less than 100 years ago, less than one hundred dollars; but, fewer than 50 people. Now how easy are less and fewer?
“Among” and “Between”
These words seem quite simple to apply correctly. “Among” is used with three or more of something, while “between” implies an occurrence that involves two. A snap, right? However, when something can be physically divided, this also requires “between.” Hence, the turkey was divided between our family, relatives, and neighbors. And “between” is also used when there is a commonality of entities, such as, “The negotiations took place between Russia, China, and Japan.” Yuck, this was supposed to be a breeze.
How About “If I Were” or “If I Was?”
During my youth, I remember thinking that when “if” introduced material, it always required “were.” (“Were” is referred to by grammarians as the subjunctive mood.) But then I learned, when “if” applies to something that’s not contrary to fact or hypothetical, “was” is correct. (“Was” is referred to as the indicative mood.) Here are examples of each: 1) If I were a bird, I’d fly to Chicago. Subjunctive mood “were.” 2) If I was able to make that flight, I wouldn’t be talking to you on the phone right now. Indicative mood “was.”
I’ve noticed some well-regarded writers foul up the use of “if,” and many educators are lobbying to do away with the subjunctive mood altogether. But while it’s still with us, careful writers will have to address it accordingly and pay attention to its nuances.
“Series” Can be Singular, and “Blonde” Is Never an Adjective
The word “series” is singular when used as in these first two examples: “The hit series is set to open in September.” “That series of events is bothering everyone I know. But, “several series of events are about to take place,” is correct because there is more than one series as determined by the adjective. “Blond” is used for all males and whenever it’s used as an adjective. Hence, when “blond” is used as an adjective it’s always without the “e,” even if a female subject is being modified. I believe a lot of people can win some money betting on who knows this rule.
My Favorites Are “Assure” and “Ensure”
When someone’s safety is guaranteed, “ensure” is routinely used. Yet this is often the third or fourth meaning in a dictionary, and some eschew this definition altogether. “Assure” is the better word in the vast majority of contexts in which it’s used. “Ensure” has become such a catch-all, McDonald’s now “ensures” my meals if I check my receipt. The firm is not going to guarantee I get the food I ordered, but the company is going to make certain the welfare of my burger and fries is protected.
English Is Tough Enough and Shouldn’t Be Made More Difficult
This article shows just how recondite some aspects of our language can be, even for those of us who work with it every day. And in defense of everyone who tries to write as well as possible but doesn’t always succeed, many physicians study for 15 or more years and then don’t always make correct diagnoses. Attorneys who teach in the best universities provide consultations that blow cases. And Wall Street economists disagree diametrically about topics each has spent a lifetime studying. So if someone’s nonagenarian great aunt should write something such as “Among you, me, and that there hound dog I own, if I was a young girl I’d buy a blonde wig to be ensured to look just like Dolly Pardon,” don’t be too tough on her.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
One of the most confusing issues in all of publishing involves ISBN codes. How does a writer get an ISBN for a book? How much does one cost? What does the number mean? Does a book require a new ISBN if it’s reprinted? Are the numbers different in countries outside the States? The list goes on, but unfortunately seldom if ever are the most important questions asked. The purpose of this article is to explain how the ISBN works. I’ll also be providing several links along the way for verification and clarification purposes, but I think it’s important to explain the basics of the ISBN first.
The ISBN Is One of Many Codes
ISBN stands for International Standard Book Number. The definition of the ISBN is provided by isbn.org, but a simple explanation is: The ISBN code is a unique identifier for books that are intended to be sold commercially. The system was created in the U.K. in 1966 by W. H. Smith and called SBN or Standard Book Numbering. It was adopted in 1970 as the international standard ISO 2108. Another number, the ISSN, or International Standard Serial Number, is used for periodicals such as magazines.
Be Aware That Different Codes Are in Use in Countries Outside the U.S.
The first issue to keep in mind is that many countries use their own ISBN system. For example, Canada uses the CISN format, which means Canadian ISBN Service System. Also, Amazon uses its own identifier, which the firm calls ASIN (however, the number follows the ISBN code). The second issue to be aware of is that the ISBN has no relationship whatsoever to the Library of Congress Control Number (which is free, by the way). I think anyone serious about becoming published in any medium would be prudent to click the Library of Congress link and spend the 15 or so minutes it will take to read through the FAQ’s.
Instances in Which a Writer Doesn’t Need an ISBN
It’s important to understand that if a writer has no intention of selling his or her book via a commercial setting, handing it off to a wholesaler, or is not planning on placing the book in a public library, there is no need to apply for an ISBN. But, if the author plans to sell the book through an outlet(s) of some sort, to answer the first question I posed, the ISBN may be purchased from only one official source provided by the U.S. government, and this is publisher R. R. Bowker, 630 Central Ave., New Providence, NJ 07974-1154. The company’s toll free phone number is 877-310-7333.
Yes, R. R. Bowker Is the Only Official Government-Authorized Purveyor for ISBNs in the States
Now that I’ve clearly established Bowker as the originator of ISBNs, what about the inordinate number of firms and individuals who resell the numbers? Here is where it really gets sticky, but let me begin with cost first. The cost of a single ISBN from Bowker is currently $125, while ten ISBNs are sold to the public for $250 or $25 each. The first question is, why would anyone need more than one number? And the answer is, the person wouldn’t–unless the writer plans on having a book published in multiple mediums.
If the latter is the case, each format, such as an e-book, hardback, softcover, trade paperback (which is smaller than softcover), etc., requires a different ISBN to identify the particular medium for the book. Simply, one number applies to the hardback and another to the softcover, etc. But as long as nothing changes in a book in the original medium in which it is published, it can be reprinted ad infinitum under the same ISBN. But change any wording in the narrative, or the medium in which the book was originally published, and a new ISBN is required. Not rocket science, but we’re not even close to through with this.
A Barcode Is Necessary for All Books Sold Commercially or Placed in a Library
The next issue is the need for a unique barcode number, and this must also be purchased from Bowker (I know, how convenient). A unique barcode number is necessary so the bookseller can identify the price point at which you want to sell your book. So the first rule is not to purchase a barcode until you determine what price you want your book to sell for. And since you might have an e-book priced at one price point and a softcover release at another, you would need a separate barcode for each; hence, again, the need for more than one identifier.
Barcodes don’t have the dramatic price drops that are commensurate with ISBN codes (more on this to come). A barcode is $25 each from 1 to 5, $23 if purchased in lots of 6 to 10, and $21 in any spread from 11 to 100. Again, since they involve price points, you will have to tell Bowker your retail pricing for each style book so everything can be keyed-in accordingly. While we’re still a long way from quantum physics, what comes next is a black hole that can reshape a writer’s universe–all the wrong way.
The Following Section May Be the Most Important Information a Writer Seeking Publication Will Ever Read
A great many publishers and individuals resell the ISBNs, and it certainly appears advantageous for a writer to buy a single number for say $40 in lieu of $125. The problem is, who owns the legal right to the title the ISBN identifies if the author has not received a release from the company or person who sold the number? According to the staff at Bowker, and I pressed them on this issue several times to make certain of the consistency of what they were telling me, each year they are contacted by a multitude of writers who are justifiably distraught after they learn the rights to their book are really owned by the person or company that resold the ISBN to them!
I would think this is also a double-edged sword for the individual of company that is retaining the rights, especially if either is the publisher, since if the work is plagiarized, the publisher is always sued right along with the writer. So, unless the staff at Bowker is lying to me to protect their interests, I think it would behoove any writer to make certain a release is signed before getting an ISBN from anyone outside of Bowker. By the way, 100 ISBN’s are only $575 (according to what Mrs. Milsey taught me in the 4th grade, that’s $5.75 each), and 1000 are just $1000! It’s easy to see why buying in bulk and reselling the numbers at a 20 to 40 times markup has substantial street appeal.
The ISBN and Barcode Can Be Combined on One Format
If you should be interested in how the barcode is determined, since it also has a book’s category and other information embedded, Barcode Graphics Web site explains the process in detail and this is why I chose to highlight the firm in this section. Included in their definitions is the tidbit that the Bookland EAN symbol is the barcode of choice in the book industry throughout the world because it allows for the encodation of an ISBN with the barcode on a single label.
This company’s price for 1000 of a single label with a both codes in a standard configuration is $27.75. So once a writer has the ISBN, and a price point, a single label can be ordered. Just be aware that there are a gargantuan number of graphics outfits that can print labels, so it would behoove a writer to shop around, but I imagine $27.75 for 1000 labels is a pretty strong baseline.
To recap, if you’re going to sell your book outside your individual efforts, you will have to acquire an ISBN and a barcode number that can be affixed to each book (unless of course the publisher prints the Bookland EAN combined-label somewhere on the book). And, again, as with changes or different formats that will require a separate ISBN, you will need a unique barcode for any price points that aren’t the same.
The Release Should Be Issue Number-One
Regardless of from whom anyone acquires an ISBN outside of Bowker, the single most important issue is that the writer have a release signed by someone who has the authority to do so (which is another subject, and a monster in its own right). My opinion, if anyone wants it, is that it’s probably better to go ahead with Bowker, buy ten ISBNs, get the exact number of barcodes that are needed initially, and be done with it (other than getting the labels printed in some manner if your work is not exclusively an e-book). And if someone accepts my quantity suggestions for each component, the total for everything for one e-book and one printed book that can be sold by a wholesaler, retailer, or placed in a library, looks like a price tag of around $325, give or take $10.
By the way, it would be easy to load up on Bowker because of the company’s obvious monopoly status, but in fairness, would it be conceivable to have a hundred different authorized outlets dispensing numbers? This seems like perhaps the only instance I can think of in which our government could’ve handled something internally–such as via a Library of Congress affiliate agency of some sort, especially since this is already being done with periodicals–and made money rather than turning it over to a private concern. But, as many have said before me and many more will say after, who knows?
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
A while ago I read a paper that offered guidelines which ran from a page for flash fiction to 60,000 words as the starting point for a work to be considered novel-length. I’m not remotely qualified to comment on flash fiction, but it seems 60,000 words is an acceptable metric for a narrative to be classified as a novel.
If the 60,000 Number Is the Starting Point for a Novel, What Is Considered Too Long?
When I began querying my initial novel almost 20 years ago, and called a few agents to get a feel for the market, I remember the first words out of several agents’ mouths: How long is your manuscript? I thought it was quite odd to ask this without knowing one thing about the story. But when I began editing for a living, I often found myself requesting–also early in the conversation–the same information. What follows are a couple of reasons why.
The Interest in Length in Many Cases Relates to the Cost to Print the Book
It’s very hard to get many agents to consider a mammoth work from a heretofore unpublished author because they know submissions editors will balk at considering something that is essentially a tome. This doesn’t mean the author of a substantial body of work cannot achieve success, but large books cost more to print and consequently often retail for more money.
It’s hard to entice readers to pay an additional amount for something written by an unknown author. Certainly e-publishing renders the increased-cost argument nugatory, but until the industry reaches a point at which nothing will ever be printed, the original contention will likely retain some degree of validity.
Traditional-Length Stories are What the Public Desires
Commercial Fiction in the 80,000 to 90,0000-word range seems to be what appeals to the general public, since this provides an 8 to 10-hour read for most people, and it’s the ambit a great many agents and publishers recommend their authors’ works fall within. Of course a book could be 55,000 or 120,000 words (or whatever), but the 80,000 to 90,000-word model provides a good framework, especially for an unpublished writer trying to break into the business.
It’s Always Important to Understand There Are Exceptions
A single factor normally determines why publishers allow exceptions, and this pertains to an author’s following. This implies the writer was published in some medium previously and has achieved considerable success. And the publisher is gambling that the next book will sell, regardless of its size. I could be very wrong, but if J. K Rowling had written the first installment in her series at the length of some of her later works, we might never have heard of Harry Potter.
One Rule
The rule is: there isn’t one. But as I constantly write, unpublished authors have to jump a very high bar, and it’s constantly being raised. So it’s imperative to make an agent or publisher’s work–as it applies to accepting a manuscript–as comfortable as possible.
Some of the positions maintained by agents are purely personal and even regrettable. But regardless of the reasons for agents’ and publishers’ purported biases, writers have to be prepared to work around those that are extant. And it seems an unpublished manuscript thought to be too short or too long for its genre is toward the top of the list of known red flags. But I must state that I recently spoke with a highly regarded submissions editor who said she has never found word count to matter, irrespective of the genre.
I honestly feel, however, that anyone who is unheard of and unpublished is going
to have a very hard time getting an agent or publisher to consider a first novel with an unusually low or high word-count, regardless of the genre, although Literature has considerable latitude. I realize this article is fraught with contradictions, but the business is tough enough without trying to circumvent what are considered the traditional word-count metrics by many if not most of those who make the ultimate decisions regarding the fate of a story.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
It’s Important to Recognize That a List Is Just That–and Nothing More
Over the years, I can’t begin to count the number of times writers have contacted me, bubbling with enthusiasm, to let me know that a book of theirs was now listed with the major distributing venues, and they are now “on the way.” I always hate to tell them that the only thing they are on the way to is disappointment, should they believe the lists are sales vehicles that will sell even one book for them.
Don’t Get Excited by Placement with Ingram or Baker & Taylor
Today, almost any title can be placed on either of these lists. And it’s easy to believe that Ingram’s distribution lock with bookstores and B & T’s with libraries would be an immediate path to sales. After all, there are still more than 10,000 retail bookstores in the U.S., and almost 125,000 libraries if the educational system in the U.S. is counted. Let’s see, if those libraries buy just a single book from Baker & Taylor, the world is mine oyster. If only this were the way it worked.
The Function of Ingram and Baker & Taylor
These firms, which I believe it’s fair to imply have attained monopoly status, since they distribute books to retail bookstores and libraries respectively with almost no other company infringing on either’s turf, have one thing in common: Each is a distributor, not a sales entity.
Distribution Means One Thing, Sales Another
Neither firm sells the first book via its respective list (Ingram now publishes through its own company, Lightning Source, but it still does not sell books via the medium; however, marketing programs are offered, which is a topic all unto itself). It bears repeating, neither Ingram or Baker & Taylor employ a sales force to sell books. They fill orders for books that are presold by outside forces. And that is all!
An Unknown Author on a List Is Like a Drop of Water in the Atlantic
All sorts of statistics are published as to the number of titles on Ingram or Baker & Taylor’s list at any given time, but 70,000 is commonly bandied about. Without publicity, how easy would it be for a reader to find a title amidst 70,000, when the search is not specific?
Amazon Has Its Own Issues
Placement with Amazon might seem like the final step to sales, celebrity, and perhaps salvation. But the same issues exist as with Ingram and B & T. Yes, with Amazon, there’s a lot of “help” available, but the title count in this case is exponentially greater, and therefore the chances for success governed by the multiplier. One of Amazon’s high-ranking executives revealed not long ago that some books on the site don’t sell a single copy.
Back to Understanding What Placement on a List Really Means
For a book to have a realistic chance for the writer who is not a marketing genius or an advertising executive with all sorts of clients in the publishing industry who owe favors, it’s imperative to be listed on Ingram, Baker & Taylor, and Amazon. But this is a starting point and not the end of what is a very tall mountain that except under the rarest of circumstances must be climbed one slow step at a time.
If querying literary agents isn’t difficult enough, how is a writer who is attempting to break into the business supposed to decipher the sales figures that are posted by major agents in areas such as the Dead Reckoning section of Agent Search (which is superb by the way) when individual statistics during a 12 month period might indicate the placement
of over 100 titles by a single agent?
Sales Numbers Can Reflect the Entire Agency and Not the Individual Agent
Keep in mind that an agent such as Richard Curtis, who Agent Search credits with
159 titles sold during a 12 month period, is likely stating the figures for his entire agency. Prolific producers such as Richard Curtis, Sterling Lord, Al Zuckerman, and Jane Dystel are historically providing numbers generated by their respective agency imprimaturs and not their individual sales, although they may play a role in each transaction.
Query the Right Agent
If you check their individual web sites, you will notice that some of these high production agencies are mammoth, employing a couple dozen agents and numerous subordinate staff members, such as readers. This is why it’s imperative to find out which representative at an agency is the right choice for a particular work. And why it does not behoove a writer to send material to the lead agent when another person is better suited.
Be Careful of the Agent on the Marquee
The reason for this admonition is because most agencies don’t pass material from
agent to agent to see who might like it from a genre perspective. So in instances in which a cozy mystery might be ideal for Jane Jones, it might not be suitable for hard-boiled police mystery guru John Jones. And if John Jones is the agency founder–and the person queried–his personal attache may only look for material that will fit his eye if the query is addressed to him. And no one I am aware of enables a writer to submit to multiple agents within the same agency, as this seems to be universally disparaged.
There Is an Exception to be Aware of
There is, however, one disclaimer that must be made, since there are indeed some agencies for which all queries are reviewed by a submission coordinator, regardless of to whom the letter is addressed. This submission coordinator often screens queries and passes those that are deemed worthy to the agent who is thought to best fit for the project. But I don’t think anyone would consider it bad advice to suggest that a writer find the right person to query, from the outset.
Proactive Things a Writer Can Do That Will Work
Nothing about locating the right agents to query is easy, but with the last sentence in
the preceding paragraph in mind, a serious writer can save a lot of time and aggravation
by making the effort to do these four things:
- Closely follow Publishers Marketplace to learn which agents are selling what and to whom.
- Become knowledgeable of the content of the recent book(s) an agent of interest has placed so something can be referenced in the query, especially if there is a plot or thematic similarity.
- Utilize the Agent Query web site to verify the agent’s title, address, etc.
- While on the Agent Query site, access the agent’s web official page (the URL is almost always shown). This is important because the submission criteria listed on the agent’s actual site is often more detailed and current than what is provided in the short bio provided on Agent Query.
A writer making the effort to complete these four tasks will be ahead of 95 percent of the querying competition–which is an immense advantage when considering the overall numbers.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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In my opinion, this is one of the most diffView posticult questions to answer with any degree of specificity. In the strangest of ways, attempting to define Literature brings to mind the judge who said he couldn’t describe pornography but knew what it was when he saw it. And I’ll state up front that I don’t have a concrete answer for what constitutes literature. But I have some ideas.
Defining Literature Is a Personal Matter
Literature seems quite often to be in the eye of the beholder. For light reading, I happen to enjoy Nelson DeMille, yet I teach UP COUNTRY as literature, since I think the work has exceptional dimension. Cormac McCarthy’s NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN is a flat-out thriller, yet who refers to it as that, or to him as a thriller writer, since he is considered a major artist in the craft of literature? I think Jody Picoult has written literature, since I’ve found some of her material just as profound as work by Barbara Kingsolver or Jane Smiley or Colleen McCullough. But I don’t even remotely believe that all or even many of her novels fall into the category of Literature.
Literature, as I see it, is defined by the substance written in a story’s fabric that makes the reader think rather than just read. Of course, people can say that romance novels make them think, just as well as science fiction or any other genre for that matter. But Literature has that special quality of making the readers dig deeper into their thought processes, and this in my view is what separates it from commercial fiction.
Literature Is More Plot-Driven Than Character Driven?
That’s a contention which made me laugh, and I’ve read this thesis often. If this is the case, how many works can anyone name that are famous and solely plot-driven? After STUDS LONIGAN, WUTHERING HEIGHTS, and perhaps BREATHING LESSONS on a contemporary basis, what’s left?
Character-driven material leads the Literature genre by such a wide margin that it’s incomprehensible for me to see how anyone might feel that plot-driven novels are emblematic of the classification. All of Shakespeare’s comedies have one theme: Love conquers all. And some (okay, many) of the plays indeed have identical story elements,
yet are any of the key characters the same?
Characters Matter–A Lot
I watched THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR at The Old Vic some years ago, and it was presented as occurring in the 1920s. Very clever, and the lines held up, which surprised me. But to my way of thinking, the key character in the play has always been Falstaff. And, while admirably portrayed in a 1920s milieu, he couldn’t be reconstituted in that time frame and made remotely as funny as I found him in the era in which he was originally cast. Someone could say this points to plot and contradicts my position, but I’m not so sure about that. The strength of the characterization was diminished in that setting, not the character itself.
Is the Seriousness of the Work the Primary Determinant?
Returning to novels, maybe it’s poignancy itself that’s the deciding factor in determining the definition of Literature, regardless of whether the story is plot-or-character driven And Literature generally involves an adult theme. But not always. After writing this article, I know just one thing, and this is what I stated at the beginning: Literature is impossible for me to define with any degree of accuracy. But I hope I at least have provided some idea of what motivates me to think of a work as Literature–and that I’ve given others who have struggled with the concept some fodder to establish criteria for a subject I find fascinating.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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From academicians to book critics to lay readers, each is often eager to recommend a list of authors who will provide aspiring writers with a sound foundation from which to build. Any suggestions should be revered, and it would be ridiculous for one person to state that her/his idea of quality prose is better than another’s.
However, there are four aspects of the craft of writing that many who understand literature would argue have never been better addressed: Steinbeck’s perfection with dialogue, Faulkner’s depth of characterization, Hemingway’s precise narrative, and Fitzgerald’s palpable creation of mood.
Steinbeck’s Brilliance As a Dialogist
One of the quickest ways to appreciate John Steinbeck’s brilliance in the realm of dialogue is to read TORTILLA FLAT, THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT, and OF MICE AND MEN. Accents are often hard to maintain in a novel without eventually grating on the reader, yet Steinbeck’s last line of dialogue in TORTILLA FLAT is as fresh as his first. THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT provides a perfect medium for demonstrating his range. And it is then a simple step to OF MICE AND MEN to gain an understanding of Steinbeck’s genius in the art of writing divergent dialogue at an extraordinary level.
Faulkner’s Genius with Characterizations
The mere mention of William Faulkner can cause many to quail. But a lot of Faulkner aficionados, of which I am included in this group, feel he is unchallenged in the realm of characterization. Many erudite souls recommend ABSALOM, ABSALOM as an ideal example of why Faulkner rules the world of characterization, and one needs to read only the first paragraph in the initial chapter to realize the reason for this praise. Another suggestion is that serious writers read THE SOUND AND THE FURY. The characterization of Dilsey the maid is, in itself, a masterpiece.
Hemingway’s Impeccable Pitch
With simple words, Hemingway’s narratives are so powerful and his depictions so poignant that he is credited with creating a unique style. An efficient way to experience his skill is to read THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA. What is often overlooked about Hemingway’s crisp, concise style is the quality of pitch his technique provides. His passages of perfect pitch in themselves can be important to analyze by anyone desiring to become a better writer.
Fitzgerald’s Mastery of Mood
Mood, like voice, is one of those magical areas that is easy to recognize but impossible for a great many people to define. But whatever mood happens to be, it can be experienced in the works of F. Scott Fitzgerald. In THE GREAT GATSBY, THIS SIDE OF PARADISE, and TENDER IS THE NIGHT, there is an unmistakable mood that is so sentient the reader can easily and pleasantly become enveloped by it. A leading example is the opening paragraph in TENDER IS THE NIGHT, which sets the mood for the entirety of a story as well as any novel that comes to mind for many learned readers. Whatever Fitzgerald’s voice was, he found it. And whatever mood is, he created it with exceptional flair.
There are numerous other writing elements, and subcategories of each, that anyone serious about becoming a novelist must consider. But for those who desire an understanding of what many regard as the four pillars necessary for developing a proficiency in writing quality prose, especially if the interest is to be published by a major royalty publisher, it is difficult to argue against venturing into the oeuvres of Steinbeck, Faulkner, Hemingway, and Fitzgerald.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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The same as a secretary or administrative assistant to any executive, interns or subordinates are often used to screen manuscripts to make certain that the agent or publisher isn’t inundated with substandard material. And considering the volume of submissions agents and publishers must sift through, without good gatekeepers, the process would be overwhelming.
So What Is a “Reader” Looking For?
It’s not so much what they’re looking for as what they’re looking at. And whether anyone wants to agree or disagree with many of the contentions proffered by respected agent and author Noah Lukeman in his book THE FIRST FIVE PAGES, A WRITER’S GUIDE TO STAYING OUT OF THE REJECTION PILE, I firmly believe he’s spot-on when he says that “readers” look for reasons to reject a work. And they look hard. Real hard.
Exactly What Agencies’ and Publishers’ Aides Evaluate
To effectively answer this, ask yourself what you would look at first. Wouldn’t it be grammar and the initial impact of the reading experience? Forget for a moment about how fast the “hook” was established, or some spectacular characterizations, or how rapidly you were engaged in the protagonist’s dimension, or any of the other “gripping” issues we who write live by. Isn’t grammar the first element you notice when beginning any text?
It’s very basic, but if the sentence construction is flawed, most people will put down a book from an unestablished author. Yes, well-known writers, or highly publicized material, go by a different set of rules, but we mere mortals have to deal with the throes of what Ms. Milsey taught us in 4th grade and other indomitable spirits worked so hard to drill into us from that point forward.
A Clean Draft Is the Single Most Important Issue for Writers To Contend With
Ask yourself, how do you react when you pick up a book and you’re immediately exposed to sentences with improper subject and verb agreement, pronouns not related to the correct antecedents, unacceptable comma placement, runs of exposition that stop you because of misplaced modifiers, superfluous wording, elliptical expressions, or any of the other rhetorical bugbears?
In this respect, “readers” employed by agents and publishers are no different from all the rest of us when we’re reading for enjoyment. Enjoyment is not having to revise the story in our minds while we’re reading it.
If a Draft Survives the “First Cut,” Publishers’ Assistants Then Go for the Jugular
If material is patently readable, then the real work begins for “readers,” as they look for whatever they can find to have material rejected. Here are several considerations that can deal a death blow to a manuscript:
- High on the list are POV shifts, an element that even the most skilled authors sometimes find difficult to maintain at times.
- Passages written in passive voice are often cited as negatives, even though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with injecting text with occasional passive runs, as it’s often impossible not to use passive elements and retain content fluency.
- Telling and not showing is an easy way out for “readers” eager to dis material, as there’s always rhetoric that can “show” the action in,more vivid detail. This element is important but often grossly overstated as to its significance, as many scenes need to move along and not be bogged down with capillary-level introspection.
- The overuse of adverbs and adjectives. Old as the hills, but still a killer.
- Dialogue pacing is another element that’s a high priority, and something many writers never consider.
- Some aids are taught in college or told that some expert has determined that interior monologue should always follow the actual spit of dialogue. Some “readers,” and not just early-stage interns, won’t bend this rule, ignoring the pitch of the entire scene to consider a single exchange.
Quirks and Still More Quirks
An inordinate number of issues can destroy a manuscript’s chances, and this article touches on just a few of the more potentially contentious elements.It’s important to always remember that agents and publishers have preferences, just the same as we all do. And they, like the rest of us, hire aides who will adhere to their likes and dislikes.
A Final Note
If a subordinate doesn’t like something about a draft, it’s almost always passed on, as agents’ and publishers’ “readers” are joined at the hip with their employers. Many agents and publishers say that they employ staff to look for quality in material they might otherwise have missed, but the reality is that this extra set of eyes seldom if ever produces positive results for a respective author. This comment, as well as everything in this article, can certainly be argued, but it has been my experience–and for more than 20 years.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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An Action Has to Be Physically Possible
I remember the first partial manuscript of mine an agent requested, 20 or so years ago, and how destroyed I was when it was sent back full of remarks written in red pencil. (Yes, in those days some agents would routinely edit a few pages and return them, along with their comments. This still happens today, but very rarely.)
The predominant complaint this agent had with my writing was that many of the things I assigned to my characters were not humanly possible.
It Began With “I Held My Heart in My Hand”
I don’t know where I came up with this goofy phrase. I probably heard somebody say it and thought it accurately expressed a person’s deepest emotions. Regardless, it was pointed out that a person couldn’t hold his or her own heart unless this occurred after a heart transplant. I know, dumb but true.
Can a Jaw Really Drop to the Floor?
If a person got knocked down or fell down, his or her jaw could of course drop to the floor. But standing and becoming in awe of something wouldn’t allow this to occur unless this was written around an animated character with no physical limitations.
What About Idiom?
We’ve all read something to the effect that a character’s ability to anticipate danger coming from behind is so uncanny that the person must have “eyes in the back of his or her head. Of course no one can have eyes in the back of his or her head, but here’s where idiom rears its ugly head as to what is or isn’t considered allowable. And, as much as idiom,”must have” (the modal “must” with “have”) is what will save this from being edited out by me, since this implies a logical conclusion.
“Save Grace” Sparingly
Phrases with antecedent modifiers (I’ve underlined the modifiers so it’s clear what I’m referencing), such as “It felt as if my jaw had fallen to the ground,” and “It was as though I were carrying a ton of bricks on my back,” are perfectly acceptable once in a while. And this means once in a great while. As soon as I read a couple of phrases in a client’s draft like those I just referenced, I delete the rest.
How Much Is Too Much?
My rule is two per 100,000 words, and I’m dead serious, or at least as serious as I can be about anything in the complex world of writing material people will want to read, because these phrases in and of themselves can become a tic in a hurry.
Should a writer receive a rejection from an agent or publisher with the word “overwitten” in it somewhere, the sorts of phrases I alluded to can often be the justification for the comment.
This Sometimes Goes Too Far
I remember reading that a person couldn’t walk through the trees, as technically this was impossible. Come on. The same with someone walking through or into a house. Only The Hulk or some such creature could walk through a house, since anyone walking into a house would likely have a bloody nose and skinned knuckles. But we all know what walking into a house means, and I believe that a modicum of sanity needs to practiced, lest very few things could happen as described.
For example, “The car turned into the driveway” isn’t possible unless by some automated assistance or the steering wheel’s being locked in place. Yet we all know the car is being driven by someone. Likewise, do car lights coming toward something require clarification that they’re attached to a vehicle? I remember Fitzgerald’s writing about car lights weaving their way through the fog in THIS SIDE OF PARADISE. It remains part of one of the greatest descriptive vignettes I’ve ever read, and I’m so happy Charles Scribner wasn’t a stickler for “absolutism” in this instance (or throughout the whole book, for that matter, ha ha).
“Correctness” Can Lead to Some Very Boring Text
Isn’t John’s “pulling his car in the driveway” implying that he’s physically towing it in some way? And that the car is being pulled right into whatever the driveway is made of? The distinction between what’s allowable and that which isn’t is often quite blurred. My advice is to stick with what makes sense, without tincturing the phrase to make it acceptable. And ignore the ridiculous pedants; however, during the past few years I have found my characters walking through doorways more often than into houses, and this is probably not a bad idea.
Unnecessary Information in a Narrative
Editors routinely discuss transitioning with their clients, as the way a story hangs together is one of the most crucial aspects of writing fluent prose. Transitioning elements determine not only readability but everything from plot believability to story continuity. Often a single word, placed in the proper location, can create the ideal scene from the perspective of all the nuances I just discussed. But what determines what does and doesn’t need to be included in a narrative?
Eschew What’s Obvious to the Reader
I read a novel by a popular author who decided his readers needed to know when his protagonists went to the bathroom. I’m eternally thankful he spared us a discussion of the actual event, but we still received an account of each trip behind a bush. I’m not making this up, and I can only assume this writer was trying to make a sideways stab at humor, but because of the serious nature of his material otherwise, it didn’t work for me.
Likewise, Don’t Write About Issues That Have Nothing To Do With the Scene
Readers can assume a garage door was shut before the hero or heroine entered the house, as well as that the kitchen lights were turned off as a character leaves to enter another room. This is no different from answering the phone. Someone can simply write that “John answered the phone” and move on to the actual conversation.
Or the same activity could read like this: “John heard the harsh cacophony of the ringer inside the old, white, oblong phone hanging on the wall in his kitchen. He pushed himself up from his lounge chair in the living room and walked briskly to the grab the receiver, noting the location of the furniture along the way so he wouldn’t bump into anything. As soon as he reached the phone, he placed his right hand firmly on the handset and removed it from the cradle, pulling upward and outward in one swift motion. He swallowed and took a deep breath, holding the speaker section directly below his mouth, but not so close that his chin would touch it. He wasn’t at all concerned with whomever was on the line, so in a pleasant tone he said, “Hello.”
Some Things Can and Should Be Taken for Granted
The same sort of laborious writing describing answering a phone can apply to any normal activity. I read a paragraph in a novel recently that was just as silly as the one I just wrote, but in that instance it depicted a person entering a car. Instead of the character driving away from the scene of the crime, I was told how he got in the driver’s-side door, placed the key in the ignition, started the engine, shifted the transmission in gear, and then pressed the accelerator. That really was more information than I needed to know, although I appreciated the tutorial, as I’m getting old and tend to forget how to get my own car going.
Some Aspects of a Scene Must Be Explained
Editors are paid to look for plot holes, and it’s their responsibility to tell clients if Jill was in Chicago at the same time she was in Dallas or that Mike was drinking coffee when it was never established he was offered a cup. It’s this sort of thing that can have writers scratching their heads as to why one issue is considered important and another trivial, but it relates to either scene transitioning or story continuity or both. And determining what’s important and what isn’t, and acting on this prudently, can make or break a story.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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I’m often told by participants in my creative writing workshops that the material they’ve crafted is fiction but contains some nonfiction elements, and I’m asked in which category their work should fall. I remember what I read that another editor said in response to this question: Even the wildest science fiction tale has to have some elements grounded in reality as people know it or no one would accept the work’s premise.
A Novel Is Always Based on Various Degrees of Plausibility
As the other editor related, the creatures from the planet Bublitzko had to have certain plausible characteristics or readers would put down the book. If, for example, they were bigger in size than the universe, readers would back away, since nothing as we know it could be larger. And humans certainly couldn’t see them, as each Bublitzkoain would
be impossible to distinguish. But if the Bublitzkoians were our size but never required nourishment in a traditional manner because their systems were sustained by light from their sun–which is fading and the reason they’ve chosen to colonize Earth–readers might well approve of this.
It’s Fiction Even if the Work Has Some True Elements
Once it’s accepted that a scenario could occur, it doesn’t really matter that Aunt
Eloise threw a plate of food at her husband at the dinner table when everything else in the chapter was the product of the writer’s imagination. If a story is written as part truth and part fiction, then it’s classified as fiction, although some books are written as if they were documentaries. In my opinion, one of the most skilled writers of this sort of material is Gore Vidal, with BURR as a glowing testament to his ability to bring a tale to life as if it happened exactly as he had written the narrative.
Don’t Agonize Over an Insignificant Issue
Writers have called editors to task when they correct something in a novel that “didn’t happen the revised way when it really happened the other way.” Editors then have to remind authors that the editing suggestion was due to a problem caused by the scene as it’s written–and that theirs is a work of fiction. At times I’m afraid it’s either accept an editor’s advice or face revising a large segment of the draft. And whether or not Eloise tossed the chop suey at Charlie underhand or rifled the plate past his head is not going to make or break the story, hard as this might seem to believe.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Nothing is more critical than the first few lines of a story, since this will often influence whether or not a reader will continue with a work. And a great opening is never more important than for both the budding author who is trying to acquire an agent or publisher and the non-established writer who is desiring to expand an audience.
Writer’s like Dickens and Woolf Provide a Lofty Pedestal
It would be wonderful if lines like “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” or “Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself,” were on the forefront of our thinking when we first sat down at a keyboard. The reality, however, is that this is not how it plays out for most of us mere mortals. But there are ways to attract a reader without having to conjure up the catch phrase of the century.
Think Along the Lines of Larry McMurtry
Larry McMurtry opened A DEAD MAN’S WALK by telling the reader about a naked 200 lb. prostitute, nicknamed The Great Western, walking down the street while carrying a snapping turtle. If into westerns, who wouldn’t want to find out why this woman was involved with this seemingly inane activity? The same as a feminist would immediately be impressed with Clarissa Dalloway’s opening salvo.
But What if It Requires Time to Set Up the Introduction to the Story?
This is when it gets sticky. Yet not impossible to remedy. A suggestion is to find the single most prominent element of the entirety of the opening and maneuver this to the top of the first page, and then write from that point forward. This might seem difficult, if not impossible, but with a little practice it can be done.
A good exercise is to write a page on a random topic–not considered previously–then locate the most significant facet of the text and place this as the lead sentence. Now rewrite the page with the narrative following this new opening. It might not be a bad idea to do this several times, each with a new topic, and then apply this technique to your novel’s opening.
The Opening Requires the Same Effort As the Book’s Title
It is prudent to apply the same effort for the opening as was expended to come up with the title for the work. Often, however, much more time is spent on determining the title. If this should happen to be the case (from the perspective of the amount of time spent on each), it could be suggested to reverse the process. A solid opening, whether it be a single paragraph or several, will eliminate the need to try to create one-line intro’s like “Who is John Galt?” or “They call me Ishmael,” which only happen on the rarest of occasions by even literature’s most esteemed writers.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
An Instance in Which Size Does Matter
Ten or so years ago, an editor who was between jobs, and soon thereafter became the editor-in-chief of a major publisher–where she remains today–took on the project to critique a novel I had written. But before she’d read one page of my manuscript, she warned me about paragraph length; simply, I should be certain my work was written for the most part in short paragraphs.
Chapter Length Is of Prime Significance to the Readability Quotient
At first I thought it an odd, out-of-place comment, especially since she’d not yet received my manuscript. But then I thought about the Mystery genre in which the book was written and decided to parse the average paragraph lengths of authors whom my style most closely patterned. I was pleased that my word count was, on average, not abnormal. It was not until I began facilitating writing workshops that I fully understood why I was given the admonition.
Chapters that Are Too Long Can Kill Pacing; When Realistic, Try Inserting Dialogue
One of the first problem areas I noticed with material from budding writers was run-on paragraphs. This occurred in dialogue as well as exposition, and it destroyed the pace of the narrative quicker than any other factor. While long paragraphs wear out the reader, there are simple ways to remedy this. And not always by simply breaking up the material into multiple paragraphs of continuing exposition. One is to insert dialogue. There is no easier way to break up a long paragraph than for a character to say something. However, this is not always feasible, so finding a suitable point and breaking up the paragraph is all that is left as a remedy. But where?
How Long Is Too Long? Apply a Simple Test
We are trained that a paragraph should start and end a thought. But since sometimes these thoughts can be substantial, try this exercise: While you’re reading a paragraph you’ve written, consider its length as if it’s invested in your breathing process. If your breathing suddenly becomes labored, and you’re still reading the same paragraph, determine the point that caused your breathing to strain and begin a new paragraph with that sentence. You might have to rearrange a few words, but when you read the new shorter paragraph, check how much easier you are now able to transition to the next paragraph. And how much easier you happen to be breathing. You may have improved the manuscript and the health of your readers at the same time.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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I recently wrote an article on plot believability and was asked if this was the same as plot authenticity, since both seem to imply the same thing. In some respects they are alike, but in other ways they are dissimilar. Believability relates to the feasibility of situations occurring in the manner in which they are depicted; authenticity involves the specific characteristics of a scene as the reader believes the events would take place.
The Authenticity of a Happening
In a scene in an operating room, would a surgeon be allowed to continue to botch
one operation after another when everyone on the medical staff knew the doctor was incompetent? Would a cop be allowed to shoot an unarmed person and go back on the street the next day? Could a lawyer–solely by the threat an injunction provides–prevent
a spouse from going after an ex who was having an affair? Now take this to the next level.
Could the same doctor remove the wrong limb, for example, and simply cover it up while being under intense scrutiny because of prior bad history? Would a police officer make the mistake of shooting an innocent bystander for a second time in his career and be left to remain on the job in the same capacity? Would an attorney be foolish enough to think that a court order is going to keep a crazed spouse away from a cheating counterpart when a prior client was murdered under similar “paper” restrictions?
Competent Characters Displaying Incompetent Actions Won’t Work
Assuming it’s a human, once a character’s profile is crafted for the reader, it’s critical to understand the way this person’s actions are going to be perceived by the reader. Among other elements, perceptions can be determined by the person’s appearance, personality, and employment. For the purpose of this paper, let’s take these three traits as a starting point. If we’re wanting our character to be suave and debonair, this person can’t be 50 pounds overweight and a slob at the dinner table. Should our character possess a legitimate gentle disposition, this person wouldn’t do well as a sadistic murderer with no conscience. An FBI agent who is a long-time Agent-In-Charge wouldn’t be indecisive, forgetful, and prone to making the same mistakes over and over. Yet I’ve read drafts with these sorts of misrepresentations.
Consider the Global Nature of the Narrative
If the lead character is a crown prince and the son of the richest man in the world, and this person is kidnapped, how extensive would the search likely be? And if this child were thought to be on foreign soil, how many people in that country’s police–and military–would be searching for the lad? I’m suggesting it would be no less than the quest to find Bin Laden right after 9/11. So it’s important to sometimes “size” a character(s) so the plot doesn’t appear too large for any storyline to handle.
Authenticity Is More Than Perception
Authenticity also means how scenes play out in the timeline in which the story was written. To this point, if an author is writing about the FBI or CIA or the NYPD, it’s important to understand the way these outfits operated in the “date” of the narrative. If writing a period piece, the technology must also fit. Cell phones can’t show up in 1975 any more than a commercial jet can be flying tourists from New York to Paris in 1955.
Check the “Facts”
And this means looking further than Wikipedia or the first link to the subject that’s provided by an Internet search engine. I’m not criticizing any particular sourcing medium, but anyone can post on Wikipedia, as it’s really nothing more than a sophisticated blog. Wikipedia can be a fine starting point, but I strongly suggest checking with reputable encyclopedias and other sources that pertain directly to the subject. When I do research for my own material, I commonly make phone calls. For example, about 20 years ago I called Sikorsky Aircraft in Connecticut to make certain a helicopter I cited in a story was in fact deployed at that time in my narrative, which was 1960. I learned it wasn’t until the following year!
For that same story, I called the State Department in D.C. to find out what the lobby in the building looked like in 1960. It required a few phone transfers, but I was put in touch with a woman who was a receptionist in 1960 (I also learned the building was under major renovation). In the overall scheme of things, the barren walls and bank of elevators on the left meant nothing to my story, but I felt good about describing the scene as it would’ve appeared to someone entering the dual set of doors to the building on C Street at that time in our history.
Authenticity adds to the richness of a tale, and while it might never sell a story to a publisher on its own, a lack of accuracy can certainly keep a book from being accepted by knowledgeable readers. And that does matter.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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As an editor who specializes in fiction, I quite often have clients lament about my criticism of a plot element that I find implausible. The general response is, “It’s fiction, so why should it matter?” First, just because a narrative is fictional, this doesn’t mean the story elements should not be factual. Second, all fiction is grounded on fact to some degree, and even the wildest fantasy has to contain characterizations the reader can relate to with respect to their legitimacy.
Once Again, to the Planet Zegrebnon
I wrote an article not long ago in which I stated that even the most outlandish science fiction requires accurate physics to make scenes work for readers, since the scientific community understands the various disciplines. For example, a space alien couldn’t be in multiple places at the same instant. Even traveling many times the speed of light, if that were possible, would entail nanoseconds (or whatever) to differentiate location. An extraterrestrial entity might appear to be in several places at one time, but the author couldn’t tell the reader that the being was indeed in more than one spot at an identical moment.
Let’s Get Back to Earth
If a person is tossed into the Bering Strait, I know from “Deadliest Catch,” and a tour guide of mine while on a fishing trip in Alaska, that a person has about 4 1/2 minutes before some serious problems can occur, although the consensus is that a human might make it for a half-hour, but would likely have substantial health issues if still alive after being in the water for that period of time.
However, there is a documented case of a man who survived for longer than 6 hours in 45-degree-or-colder water after his ship wrecked in 1984. Studied by scientists from all over the world, he was overweight and his body fat was two to three times thicker than the norm and solid like that of a seal. I think it’s fair to imply that this fellow was unique. And that’s the point. Can a writer expect readers to accept that a character could negate insurmountable odds when only one person in recorded history is purported to have done so?
This has nothing to do with hypothermia. It could mean rowing a heavy boat on a lake against a gale wind and in two hours making it ten miles. Or incapacitating a burglar in the dark (I know the movie, too, but you get my point). Or never having shot a gun and hitting multiple people with single shots in a speeding boat on rolling seas. Then there’s tossing a bullet in a fire so it will go off at just the right angle and hit the bad guy. While this list is of course endless, readers’ attention spans aren’t.
All Writers Must Understand Their Audiences
If it’s a police procedural, the person buying a book in this genre will likely be hip to the way law enforcement operates. When the bust takes place, the writer had better understand what cops say and do. And what they can’t say and don’t do! Also, a reader’s acceptance factor is not like what occurs when watching “Nikita” on TV, a show that has all sorts of female assassins with martial arts skills enabling them to take down men three times their size. Only one woman in the entirety of our Armed Forces is rated at the highest level for hand-to-hand combat. This means she also possess jujitsu skills that allow her to effectively fight a man on the ground. Again, only one female in the whole of our military.
Fully Grasp the Limitations of Every Character
Even Superman and Wonder Woman have limitations. Since we create our characters from our imaginations, it’s important not to get carried away and want to live vicariously through their actions. Make chase scenes realistic, love scenes acceptable, physical characteristics identifiable for the average person, etc. The more accurately fiction is written, the better it is.
The Feasibility/Plausibility Test
Even though the words “feasible” and “plausible” are often considered interchangeable, someone whose name I’ve sadly forgotten wrote something along these lines: “If it’s feasible, this means it can be done under normal circumstances; if it’s plausible, this means it could be done, but only under the most unlikely of situations.” To keep the reader engaged, I suggest staying with feasible scenarios and avoiding scenes that are unlikely to occur except by sheer luck. Think of the man from Iceland who swam for six hours in 45-degree-or-below water and survived. Would you believe it?
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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Prologues Can Be a Major Problem
I’m often telling my clients not to write prologues if they reveal too much of the actual story, but to write this material into the narrative as backstory if it’s deemed that important to the setup. This advice is most assuredly of the standard brown-paper-bag variety, but writers often feel they must “prepare” the reader for what is to come, and this is generally not a good idea.
First, Preparation Is Seldom Necessary
Readers commonly don’t require as much guidance as author’s might think, as they’re more than capable of figuring out things without a helping hand. They certainly don’t need to know every detail of the millennium-long war between the Gribdons and Calgothians prior to starting with the main narrative.
Second, Telling of What’s To Come Takes Away from the Suspense
It’s sort of like reading the end of the story first. Anyone who’s ever done this, and I don’t know who hasn’t for one reason or another, has essentially destroyed the reading experience for that particular work. So if a writer is aware of this, would it make the best sense to tell the reader that a particular event is about to occur?
Third, Eliminate the Conflict, Eliminate the Story
Exposing story elements also eliminate or drastically reduce conflict, and what is any plot without this component? The more heightened the conflict–and the inherent intrigue this creates–the better the chance are that the reader will remain engaged in the narrative. If there is one “given” to good storytelling, this is it.
Hints Are Okay; Telling Too Much Isn’t
And that’s the key. I personally enjoy a story with well-crafted cliffhangers. The millions of people who read James Patterson’s oeuvre apparently do also, as his cliffhangers “juice” many of his thin plots. But a cliffhanger shouldn’t explain what is to happen, or even worse describe an event that doesn’t take place.
Never Foretell a Scene That Doesn’t Occur
Bogus setups remind me of the serials from the 50s that showed the hero or heroine in the throes of imminent death, only to find out in the next reel that nothing close to the peril in the preceding scene had occurred. I always felt cheated, sometimes so much so that I gave up on that series. I highly suggest avoiding anything that comes close to this sort of gross impropriety.
Remember, Even a Little of What We Imply Will Go a Long Way
Regardless of just how much foreshadowing an author might want to provide for an upcoming plot element, a little bit goes a long way to lessening the reading experience. So unless the writer is highly skilled at crafting “teasers,” it’s best to let the natural progression of the story play out without any peripheral prodding.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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As an editor, I find nothing more uncomfortable than having to tell a writer about a flaw in a draft that pertains to a plot hole. And often I’ll be asked to define this tear in the fabric of a story that makes a section of the narrative unrealistic for what I refer to as a reader’s “acceptability quotient.”
Plot Holes Can Crop Up Anywhere
The tendency is to assume a plot deficiency occurs only at the end of the story, and while this indeed does happen, it’s often easiest to remedy with a denouement. The problem I’ve found, however, is that the more elements revealed at the end of the story, the weaker the overall plotline. If I’m reading a couple of pages of plot resolution at the very last of a narrative, I generally suggest that the writer go back and work on these elements so they’re brought out and resolved within the framework of the text.
Types of Plot Holes
The most obvious plot hole is anything that requires a deus ex machinato save the day.
I always hate when an otherwise good story requires a preternatural event to reconcile a plot element. But plot holes are more insidious than purely contrived events. How do characters make it cross country in a day in an automobile? Or heal from horrific wounds in three days? How does a year pass in a story and the only person who is affected by this is the lead character?
Chronology Is a Factor Never to Lose Site of
Time is a big deal, and it contributes to plot problems as much as anything. When a year passes, everyone it the story is impacted by this. What did they do during that year? Quite commonly, even the best writers can’t effectively fill long gaps, and it’s a reason I suggest writing tight timelines whenever possible, and especially with mysteries and thrillers.
Inconsistency Creates Plot Holes
Readers don’t have to know that characters go to the bathroom, eat every meal, answer each phone call, etc., but if a character has a lisp on page 4, it can’t have been cured by the middle of the next page. Mary can’t be two months pregnant in June and have a baby that has gone full term by August. Tom can’t be fired in December, but working for the same firm in April, without an explanation. A boat that’s destroyed in a storm can’t reappear in the final scene–with the reader told that the craft really wasn’t dashed against the rocks as first reported. Shakespeare could get away with it; the rest of us can’t.
Not Finishing Threads Can Cause as Many Problems as Anything
It certainly is easy to take a run at one Pulitzer Winner, INDEPENDENCE DAY, by Richard Ford. But my reason for disliking this book has nothing to do with anything I saw on the review sites or the opinions of people I respect who read the book. My reason was because the thread regarding the murdered realtor, which Mr. Price brought up twice, was never tied up for the reader. In my opinion, it was the only true plot element in the entire story, and it was ignored. (If you haven’t read the novel, it has no plot, just the idle ramblings of a neurotic malcontent during a three-day Fourth of July holiday. If you like Virginia Woolf, you’ll likely enjoy this; if not, you might want to stay away.) As to my point, I don’t see how this open thread ever got by the editors at Knopf.
Major Writers Get Away With Plot Holes, the Rest of the World of Writers Can’t
Disregarding my reference to THE TEMPEST, in THE EYE OF THE NEEDLE, how is it that
a man as meticulous as Der Needle would leave a door unlocked so his landlady could walk in on him while he was on his radio transmitting to the Germans? This occurring when the entire story was a testament to this assassin’s extreme caution with everything he did?
Everyone has plenty of examples of the sort of missteps I just mentioned. Established writers are cut a lot of slack for reasons that boggle the mind of any person working hard to try to make it in this business. But a major requirement, like it or not–for anyone striving to attract a mainstream publisher–is to provide work that is devoid of inconsistencies which create holes in the plot.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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I normally don’t get too concerned when people discuss the vagaries of what it requires to write well, regardless of how off-base I think some of the comments might be as they pertain to a particular subject. But I’m motivated to get involved when an element of writing is discussed with fervor and a decided bias, yet with a blatant lack of understanding for the topic. A recent harsh treatment of Point-of-View is what motivated me to write this article.
Why Can’t POV Be Written in Any Way One Sees Fit to Write It?
Last year I was taken to task by a writer who’d written a piece he’d submitted for “approval” via a writer’s blog. I don’t generally respond to this sort of thing, but as I read his material, I noticed distinct POV shifts via four characters in what was a short opening chapter of 500 or so words. I wrote this fellow that his writing was fine, except for the POV issues. I was sent a brisk note that since “he” was the creator of the material, he could write the Point-of-View any way he wanted. After all, he told me, “he” wrote it, and in who else’s Point-of-View could it be written?
It Would Be Funny if It Wasn’t So Serious
I laughed off his callow remark, tried to explain what Point-of-View entailed, even providing some resource material to support its importance, then quickly moved on after I found I was stoking rather than extinguishing a fire. I thought little more about POV’s misconception until I noticed one of my articles on the subject posted on a Web site for writers. Several people were kind enough to state that my explanation of POV was indeed better than the original one that fostered the blog’s thread, but then each contributor tried to diminish the validity of POV.
This rankled me, especially when the moderator of the blog went on to support my contentions, yet was just as quick to offer that POV shifts really don’t matter much one way or the other. She admitted, however, that she also had difficulty at times with POV. This should’ve told readers the value of her opinions on this subject, but the coup de grace was when she closed her post by stating that POV was important only to agents, editors, and publishers–but not to readers.
It Isn’t True That POV Matters Only to Agents, Editors, and Publishers
If I’d ever read a position that justifies why amateur writers accepting advice from other amateur writers is a road map to disaster, that was it. Agents, editors, and publishers are not an exclusive club infatuated with POV shifts and the issues they create. If POV shifts are done incorrectly, they will stop the reader! This is what matters, not the contention of any professional who works in the industry.
If the reader doesn’t know who is speaking, often the scene will need to be read again. If this occurs repeatedly in a story, it can cause a book to be set down for good. Even an occasional POV shift can destroy the flow of a narrative. I’ve cited this before, but Saul Bellow let a couple of unnerving POV slips occur in THE VICTIM. And while this proves that even the best writers can err in applying this element uniformly, a mistake by an iconic writer hardly justifies POV-shift acceptance.
Anything That Jars the Reader Is Not Good
Not a brilliant statement by any means, but this is what the POV issue is all about. Some writers can shift POV effortlessly, and to paraphrase what the famous writer E. M. Forster said, if it’s effected seamlessly it doesn’t matter at all. But when the reader notices the shift, then there is a problem.
When Is It Easiest to Shift POV?
Complete scene breaks and of course new chapters will lend themselves to POV shifts. I’ve also found that high-tension scenes are at times forgiving if handled deftly (this might seem an odd example to cite, but for whatever reason I’ve found it valid). Some people write in an omniscient voice via third person and assume this always works. Unfortunately, it doesn’t if the speaker is not clearly identified. So while omniscient third person enables wide latitude, it doesn’t mean there aren’t requirements.
No Final Word on POV Exists
Debate will always rage over POV. The best response I can provide follows closely with what I stated earlier, and this is to write whatever the reader finds acceptable. If a POV shift doesn’t stop the flow of the narrative for the reader, it can be assumed the task was handled in a masterful fashion. The time to find out if a POV shift was successful, however, is not after the reader has put down the book because of becoming frustrated with it. And this is the crux of the entire subject.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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The first question some people might ask is why any writer would need to learn techniques related to Point of View. Doesn’t POV automatically synchronize with the character’s thoughts as soon as these feelings are expressed by the writer? And isn’t the POV of a scene easily identified by an attribute or obvious implication? If it were just this easy.
Shifting POV Is Only a Problem When People Notice It
Some writers possess the skill to seamlessly shift from one person’s thoughts to another. As readers, we won’t give this the slightest concern–as long as we don’t realize when it’s occurring. But even some of the most well-respected novelists have at times jarred readers with ineffective POV shifts. So what is it that enables a POV change to be acceptable in one instance yet not in another?
A POV Shift Works When the Reader Finds It Desirable
Most writers make POV shifts in a traditional manner. They add a line space to signify another character’s thoughts, or go so far as to start a new chapter altogether. But some writers will elect to show multiple characters’ most intimate feelings–within the same frame–without the slightest hiccup. These adept authors are able to accomplish this for a reason.
POV shifts in the same scene are effective when we have become so involved in our characters that we want to know each of their innermost thoughts–immediately. Simply, the pacing and intensity of the storyline can eliminate what might otherwise create a problem for the reader.
So What’s a Writer to Do?
The ability to shift POV at will doesn’t mean its importance has lesser significance, but there might not be the need to worship its inexorably, either. There may indeed be that one instance in a novel, a hospital scene for example, when an accident victim is bandaged like a mummy, and the following could occur:
John Davis blinked and could make out a doctor standing next to his bed, staring at him with a stethoscope dangling from his neck as if it were being held by two tentacles. John’s thoughts turned to his wife. With his lips quivering through thin slits of blood-soaked gauze, John tried to ask about her condition, but no words came out. The physician wanted to leave, but realized by the anguish in his patient’s eyes that he couldn’t just walk away. He bent down to the broken man and said, “Mr. Davis,–”
Certainly, for consistent POV, the penultimate sentence might have read: John sensed that the physician wanted to leave, but something told him that he couldn’t. The doctor bent down and said, “Mr. Davis,–”
But is the scene as powerful if it’s left entirely in John’s POV? Or would the scene work better if the penultimate sentence began a new paragraph? I don’t think so, but this is an individual decision that is highly subjective, and anyone would be justified in disparaging the illustration.
A Final Thought
Many learned people and grounded writers feel that POV is right next to Showing instead of Telling as an inviolable principal. And in most cases this is undeniably correct. But there might be that rare occurrence, such as in the example I offered, when a POV shift within a scene might even be preferable. And I would hate to think that any writer would avoid providing the reader with insight into a another character because of POV convention. There are a lot of techniques available to enable the telling of a story and telling it well. And it’s obviously the choices that separate writers.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Please note before reading this piece that it is lengthy, almost 1500 words. But since the agents, publishers, and other professional editors I know feel that Point of View is not a subject to be taken lightly, I decided it should not receive short shrift.
Some Writers Fight to the Death of Their Material Defending Their POV Shifts
What prompted me to address POV at this time is that I recently read a scene that contained four POV shifts, and when I brought this to the author’s attention, I was told this was the intent. And it was explained to me in no uncertain terms that the writer did not see the problem–because in this person’s mind there wasn’t one.
The Importance of Understanding POV Cannot Be Overstated
Let me state flat out that the importance of understanding and writing consistent POV cannot being overstated, since this is one of the first elements agents, publishers, and professional editors notice, since shifting POV is considered not only a deficiency but a sign of amateur writing. I can’t always tell writers how to get published by a major royalty publisher, but I am certain of ways not to. And the unskilled shifting of POV is one of the fastest ways I know for material to end up in the slush pile.
Some Highly Skilled Writers Can Indeed Shift POV Effortlessly
There are of course exceptions. Some highly skilled writers can shift POV seamlessly. But their POV shifts are done sparingly and generally at high tension plot points in which the writer is not concerned with the movement because the scene is so powerful that the other character’s view is necessary. And not expressing that POV would hinder the scene.
I wrote an article last year on POV in which I illustrated an instance in which I felt the shift was not only acceptable but desirable. So the issue is not confused, I’m not going to include the article at this time, but will mention that E. M. Forster said that POV shifts are fine–as long as nobody notices them (his remark made me laugh too). The difficulty for most writers is that POV shifts are most often not only noticeable, but overwhelmingly detrimental to the narrative.
Even Some of Literature’s Most Famous Writers Have Made POV Mistakes
It does not require close reading to find problematic POV shifts, and even some of literature’s most famous writers err. For a developmental writing workshop series I facilitate, which is sponsored by the local library system where I reside, I reread Saul Bellow’s THE VICTIM, since I use it in one of my syllabuses and I wanted to refresh my memory on one aspect of the plot line. I noticed two instances in the story in which Mr. Bellow shifted the POV, and to the extent that I required me to reread both passages,one several times.
A callow youth might read something by a famous author that contains jarring POV shifts and assume this sort of writing is acceptable. I’m sorry, it is not! Especially if a writer has hopes of being paid for being published in today’s highly selective literary marketplace.
A Clear Explanation of POV
If POV is foggy, perhaps this will make it clear: A character whose POV the scene is written around (maybe it would work best to consider this the “lead character” for this illustration) can demonstrate actions and express thoughts. Every other character in the scene can demonstrate actions but never thoughts, since the thoughts of another character in the same scene automatically reflect that person’s POV–and what is referred to as shifting POV once the scenes initial POV is established by a character. How POV is maintained for the reader–related to which character’s thoughts are driving the scene–is the key to POV consistency.
Along this line, it is important to keep another point in mind. Even though this lead character can show actions and thoughts for the reader, he or she must couch the viewing of others. This means that the lead character can state what he or she desires, whether this be personal information or material about other characters or situations, but he or she can only suppose what is going on in the mind of others. Hence, we read phrases in which the lead character says that it seemed, or it appeared, or it looked like something was occurring related to another character or circumstance. Again, for POV consistency, once this lead character is established, no other character can express an opinion via interior monologue.
Examples of POV – The Right and Wrong Way
Here, now, are examples of the same scene with John and Mary written three ways. The first in John’s point of view.
“Hi,” John said to Mary. He gazed into her eyes, more nervous than he had ever been in his life.
“I’m happy that you came by,” Mary said, her voice sounding positive to him.
John, uplifted by her tone, experienced a sudden burst of confidence that he hadn’t thought possible. But as he continued to stare at Mary, she blinked several times before turning away. He could only guess at what had caused her sudden change in comportment.
He took a deep breath and his voice was shaky. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Mary kept her head down. He heard what he thought was a muted sob, then she looked up at him and seemed to force a smile. “No. I thought I could but I can’t.”
Note that John can state his positions because he knows for certain what he is feeling, since this scene is written in his POV. His thoughts are “leading” the scene. But he cannot know for certain what Mary is feeling. He cannot know for example that she forced a smile, only that she seemed to have forced one. It is only after she says “no” that the reader can infer that John might have made a correct assumption. If the last spit of dialogue read, “Yes, I thought I couldn’t, but I can,” this could mean that her smile wasn’t forced but was one of subtle satisfaction with her decision. What follows is the same scene in Mary’s POV:
“Hi,” John said to Mary, as he gazed into her eyes.
John’s anxiety was obvious to Mary, even by his one-word greeting, since his voice had cracked.
“I’m happy that you came by,” she said in a soft tone, hoping this would provide him with some degree of self-assurance.
John seemed uplifted, and appeared to experience a sudden burst of confidence that pleased Mary. But as he continued to stare at her, she blinked several times before turning away. She hoped that he wouldn’t misinterpret her actions, because it was she who now needed to gain composure.
He took a deep breath, but his voice was still shaky. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Mary kept her head down, hoping he wouldn’t know she was crying inside, but then she looked up and forced a smile. “No, I thought I could but I can’t.”
Here, now, is the same scene with the POV’s shifting back and forth–and the consequences:
“Hi,” John said to Mary, as he gazed into her eyes, wondering if she really wanted to see him.
“I’m happy that you came by,” Mary said, her voice soft, and thinking she should’ve been more aggressive, since he’d made everything so awkward.
John, however, was uplifted by her tone, and experienced a burst of confidence that she hadn’t thought possible. Then he’d noticed a change in her comportment as she looked away to consider what to say next. He needed time to think and she wished he were someplace else.
Mary kept her head down and made what sounded to John like a muted sob. Then she looked up and forced a smile. As they stared at one another, he dreaded the words: “I thought I could but I can’t.”
This example is overkill, but I’ve read material just as bad, and it demonstrates just how devastating inept POV shifts can be. Lack of speaker designation is the most common issue with POV shifts, as depicted in the last paragraph, since the reader is unable to determine who was speaking.
A Final Bit of Advice
As I mentioned earlier, there are exceptions to strictly maintaining POV via one character. But if a writer is trying to find an agent and become published for the first time by a bona fide royalty publisher, I strongly suggest avoiding POV shifts altogether.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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I was called to task recently by a submissions editor when I described certain characters in a novel of mine by country of origin and then provided their physical attributes. It never occurred to me that defining someone as a wiry Latino or fat Sicilian would be considered offensive. When Shaffer’s THE CASE OF THE OILY LEVANTINE became a hit, I assumed this set a reasonable standard for enabling a succinct reference to describe a character.
Must an Attribute be Assumed to be Negative?
Should my Latino have been described as agile instead of wiry? And would it have been more appropriate if he were South American; hence, an agile South American? Would my Sicilian better serve readers if he were a well-fed Mediterranean? It does become ludicrous, to the extremes, when we are driven to write in bland or imprecise rhetoric in an attempt to create description that would not offend anyone, anywhere, for any reason.
Even Writing Inflections of One’s Native Language Can be Considered Offensive
I was even told to drop the accents I used for my characters, as they could be deemed in to be condescending. My agile South American saying “Si,” for example, was considered pejorative. And my well-fed Italian couldn’t say, “Imma gonna tella you.” I have heard many agile South Americans use the word “Si” as a medium for agreement, and I have a well-fed Italian barber who routinely says, “Imma gonna tell you.” I wonder if he received the memo from his country of origin that his dialect shouldn’t be replicated in print, lest he be offended?
There Is a Silver Lining
The one positive aspect of political correctness at all costs is that it requires a writer
to show the individual traits that a character possesses rather than tell them. And this
will almost always lead to better writing. For example, instead of a wiry Latino, Eduardo Ramirez–by his name–lets the reader know something about his native origin. Then if I write he is from Belize, we know for certain. Finally, if somewhere in the context of my characterization of him I reference how limber he happens to be, I’ve covered him in a
way that satisfied even the most sensitive reader. Perhaps like this:
Eduardo Ramirez was about to drop the letter that he’d addressed to his mother in Belize in the mailbox. But just as he opened the lid, he had to high jump several feet to avoid a young boy who had lost control of his bicycle and was heading right toward him. When the child finally maneuvered his bike to a stop and stepped off it, he ran to Ramirez and asked in a terrified voice if he was okay. Ramirez responded with a smile and an unruffled yes, not wanting to make a big deal out of what had happened. Later, as he thought about his close call, he was happy he’d been paying attention, since he likely would’ve suffered a broken foot, ankle or leg otherwise. And that afternoon he would not have been able to audition and win the role in the Broadway musical for which he was now famous.
What Is Right and What Is Wrong?
In the scene, we learn a lot more about Mr. Ramirez than he was a wiry Latino, so there is a great deal to be said for my being dressed down. I do, however, hope that society never gets to the point that plays like Shaffer’s will require re-titling. Every person from Latin America is certainly not wiry or a Columbian drug dealer, any more than everyone from Sicily is fat or a mobster. Connotations that promote judgmental attitudes are bad, but simple adumbration, in my opinion, should not be frowned upon. If the character is not of major significance or reoccurring in the narrative, my contention is that describing someone via a couple of words, such as “wiry Latino,” is often advantageous to 150 words that are not essential to the plot.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Genre Trumps All Else
This would seem to be so obvious that it doesn’t need to be mentioned, yet not understanding genre on the part of the author is a problem I find with a lot of material that’s sent to me to edit.
Let‘s Start with Literature and Mainstream Fiction
Both genres cater to an essentially adult market, and constraints on profanity generally aren’t an issue because of this demographic. But there can be serious concerns when a book crosses over . For example, if Holden Caulfield said “F” this and “F” that in THE CATCHER IN THE RYE, what sort of impact would that have had on the novel’s sales (more than 60 million and still counting)?
Even material as stark as both STUDS LONIGAN and AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY were relatively profanity-free, and if an epithet was spoken, it was mild. And Henry Miller’s material, while graphically sexual, contains little profanity of any sort. Even Cormac McCarthy’s novels, which in my opinion are as visceral as narratives can get, are overwhelmingly sans profanity. The same can be said for Erskine Caldwell’s works, as well as those of Faulkner and Steinbeck, both of whom often dealt with quite adult themes and circumstances.
Often the Common Denominator for Profanity
If I’m reading jailhouse argot, or the conversation between two drunken sailors, every other sentence with an “MF” in it is perfectly acceptable. Likewise, to impress their peers, gang members are going to use all of the seven words that can’t be spoken on TV as often as possible, and anyone writing dialogue centered in this environment has to lace it with profanity or the runs won’t ring true with the reader.
But when writing dialogue in standard settings, one “F” word goes a long way, and unless it’s part of a character’s established profile, even one instance of the “F” word won’t be acceptable to the reader. However, the “F” word used judiciously can indeed be a powerful tool. In no other book has the “F” word had more of an impact on me than in William Maxwell’s SO LONG, SEE YOU TOMORROW. And it appeared just once in the entire novel.
But Watch Out for YA
It’s not so much what kids read, but what parents will let them buy or will purchase for them. The Internet makes just about any reading material available to anyone, but when considering a novel someone is paying for, regardless of who’s remitting the funds, buyer demographics enter into the equation.
Even “hell” and “damn” can be a problem in a YA story, especially if these words are spoken routinely by the story’s protagonist without provocation. I always think of myself when I was 17 year old and meeting a girl’s parents for the first time and cussing repeatedly in front of them for no reason, thinking it was cool. I was told in no uncertain terms by her father that my language wasn’t acceptable in his household, and he escorted me to my car and made it clear that I was never to ask his daughter out again. This life’s lesson applies to writing profanity as well.
Always Consider the Market for Your Story
Genre is market, and I’m concluding this article as it began by emphasizing the importance of identifying who will be reading your story. Will it be only older adults? Or will young adults be your audience as well? Can profanity detract in any way from the image you’re wanting your character to portray, especially your protagonist? Does profanity fit the scene? And how do you want to use profanity–to shock or as part of a character’s normal speech? Whatever the situation, think it out carefully and choose wisely.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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There is an obvious question one might ask: Is there a problem with prologues to begin with? And while I personally don’t think there should be, there apparently is, especially for the writer who is trying to find an agent or publisher for the first time.
Prologues Conjure Up All Sorts of Imaginary Demons
The unpublished writer has a lot of hoops to jump through that an author with a readership doesn’t have to be concerned with, and this is why we see prologues preceding the work of some of our best known scribes, and proudly so. Then what’s the big deal about a manuscript from a new writer in which a prologue is part of the narrative?
As best I can figure out the thinking of certain agents, submission editors, and publishers, it’s that the prologue may give away too much of the story. It is therefore deemed better to place the information within the narrative as backstory, rather than to present it as stand-alone material that adumbrates in any way what is to come.
But There May be a Real Demon to Contend with
Whatever anyone might feel about prologues, a legitimate argument can be made that they generally support Telling rather than Showing the action. And that it would be better to place the thrust behind the prologue material at a later point in the narrative, since in its new location it could very well beget a Showing sequence.
I only offer this last sentence because as an editor I do see more Telling instead of Showing within prologues. But this isn’t always true, and certainly not an issue if an event–long past–needs to be provided so a reader can retain something in the back of his or her mind to help solidify or flesh out a plot line.
It Seems as Though There Os Little Choice but to Eschew Prologues – for Now at Least
If many of the people who determine if manuscripts become placed have developed a negative attitude toward prologues, budding novelists perhaps should decide if this bias is worth fighting. I can’t tell anyone what to do, but I am looking doubly hard at anything I receive from a client in which a prologue is included, while gritting my teeth because of this seemingly burgeoning industry intolerance for this long-established set-up medium.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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There are abundant bear traps along the way that even writers who are old hands at accepting the vagaries of the publishing industry are having difficulty navigating in the current literary marketplace. Here are several issues–some old, some new–to consider.
Pitching a Book to the Wrong Agent or Publisher Is Problem #1
Genre specificity plagues a lot of authors. It’s important to recognize that a hard-boiled detective mystery with a lot of torrid love scenes is not classified as Romance. If a writer is having difficulty pinning down the genre for a specific work, a friendly library staff member might be a wonderful resource (please don’t expect this person to read the entire draft). Only after the genre is identified can a writer adequately source the industry for suitable agents or publishers.
Agent or Publisher Bias Can Knock a Work out of the Saddle
I recently presented material to a well-known independent publisher, only to be told that their firm did not handle anything dealing with Russians or the Mafia, something that was not mentioned in their already abundant submission guidelines. As luck would have it, a significant character in my narrative was a member of the Russian Mafia.
Of course this could be modified, but the point is that any writer can be blindsided by a bias against anything from Lithuanian folk dancers to fly fishermen from Montana. Keep in mind this is a quirky business, and it’s not always the writer. And it seems that once something is found to be deficient, the agent or publisher tends to turn up the power of the already very intense microscope.
A Manuscript Can Suffer from the New Rock Band Syndrome
A manuscript can be deemed to be too close to other material. Or too far removed so that it doesn’t fit with anything else. Related to the way bands sound, I’m told these are standard rebukes in the recording industry. In the publishing business, either comment also follows with a rejection. My personal experience is that it would be easier to climb Mt. Everest than to persuade an agent or publisher to accept material for which they have a predisposition toward one or the other reasons for rejection that I just stated.
What if you Write the Perfect Manuscript, but It’s Really Not So Perfect After All?
This is the bitterest pill to swallow. If a partial or full manuscript is rejected numerous times, it is obviously necessary to take stock of the situation. Many writers contact a professional for assistance well after sourcing scores of agents and numerous publishers. There are only so many agents and publishers for any genre. And, unfortunately, agents and publishers inherently do not want to see work after they have previously rejected the material.
It is critical to have a manuscript polished to its highest sheen possible before submitting it. Quite often there are issues that are not apparent to the early-stage author which can be easily remedied, but when unchecked can send an otherwise solid body of work to the slush pile.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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I recently wrote an article declaiming the use of the exclamation point in fiction, but mollified my fervor with the reluctant admission that there were indeed exceptions. And,
in some instances, even an occasional benefit if the mark is used judiciously. But the employment of the parenthetical expression in fiction is not afforded the same luxury.
And for three very good reasons:
The Action of a Parentheses Is Often the Opposite of Its Intended Function
The most problematic issue concerns the use of a parenthetical expression for emphasis, when the punctuation is designed as a means to express a derivative meaning or “aside.”
In the instance of a writer wanting to accentuate the narrative, a dash or dashes should be utilized. Someone once suggested a simple check and balance for what to select in which circumstance: Consider a parentheses like two walls muting the text in between, while a dash, as in adding a dash of spice to a meal, heightens the flavor of the textual bill of fare. Perhaps a hokey explanation, but one I never forgot.
There Is Another Issue with Parentheses Use in Fiction that Is Even More Problematic
Once more, the evil Showing versus Telling monster exposes its fangs, and long
ones this time. This is because a parenthetical expression inherently tells of an action
that could’ve and often should’ve been shown. Simply, if the writer deemed the “aside” important enough to set off with specialty punctuation, wouldn’t what fostered the exposition be worth detailing substantively for the reader? Ask again the critical question, was this rhetoric within the parentheses provided for modest purpose, such as clarity, or was it positioned within the punctuation to enhance the narrative? If the rationale is the latter, there is a distinct possibly that a valuable Showing opportunity in the crafting of a plot
point was missed.
Then There Is Patronizing the Reader
A large number of readers find nothing more grating than having situations or things explained to them via parenthetical supplements. If the reader can’t figure out the narrative because it is so weak that it requires reinforcement, this is often an indication the novel needs a serious rewrite, with a focus on Showing the scene or scenes which are being cloaked, and not Telling them. Many experts feel that parentheses have no place in the narrative of a work of fiction, and it might be wise for writers who wish to be published to heed this opinion.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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When a Semicolon Doesn’t Fit the Syntax
A writer friend of mine, who’d had four books published by major houses at the time
we were speaking, critiqued something I wrote in which I had used a semicolon to set
off a series in a section of comedy relief that read something like this: John wanted to
own a farm, but without many common animals; namely, dogs, cats, cows, and horses.
He suggested a colon for this sort of series, so the phrase would read: John wanted to own a farm, but without many common animals: dogs, cats, cows, and horses. (We can argue the comma preceding the last item in both examples some other time). I wasn’t sold on
my friend’s recommendation until I sat alone with the phrase and read it aloud both ways. Once I did this, from the perspective of fluency, it was obvious the colon was the better punctuation choice.
Is a Semicolon a Good Fit in Exposition in Fiction?
Many learned people say semicolons don’t belong in fiction (especially commercial fiction). The contention is that a semicolon tends to stop the reader. Yet I recently read, in a book on contemporary fiction writing by a well-known author/agent, an eloquent if not passionate plea supporting the use of semicolons. But, to the first point, some feel that semicolons inhibit fluent prose and might even push many writers toward Faulknerian length material; and, for this reason, semicolons should be eschewed at all costs. Consider the sentence you just read. Does it read better if broken into two sentences? or would the sentence be improved if the semicolon was converted to a comma and “for this reason” sans any punctuation? Could it be that the original construction is superior to either suggestion? You be the judge.
What About the Use of a Semicolon in Dialogue?
Even a short article such as this would be woefully incomplete if the semicolon and its potential integration into dialogue was not broached. Some astute literary experts would never consider setting a semicolon in a rift of dialogue. The suggestion would be to “write around” the speaker’s words so the reader shouldn’t be confronted with a semicolon. However, while people are not parsing what they hear for punctuation, is the reader of printed dialogue so quick to dismiss punctuation necessary to portray properly spoken syntax?
A multitude of semicolon naysayers would vilify a sentence written in which a character is saying to his friend as they are walking after someone in a crowd, “She looked back; no, I was wrong, she didn’t.” But is this spit of dialogue so horrible? If so, what is the more suitable element of punctuation to express the meter of the speaker’s tongue in his reaction to the moment? Does a period after “back,” and a new sentence beginning with “No,” convey the same degree of angst? And how would using all commas impact the flow? I think most might agree–not well.
What Is the Answer?
What is correct–and what is not–in many instances is a matter of style and not grammar. Semicolons are not evil. To the contrary, they often contribute great value. But, like any specialty punctuation, there can be a problem if overused. However, not utilizing semicolons may be ignoring a marvelous tool for enabling a narrative to excel, and for providing a writer with a means to display greater proficiency in the art of crafting quality prose.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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“Never” Might be too Strong, but “Seldom” is Quite Correct
I’ve taken a little literary license with the title of this article, since to write that an exclamation point should never be used in a novel is preposterous. But to also state that this medium for emphasis should be used sparingly would not be out of line. Some experts feel that exclamation points are the sign of a lazy writer, or worse–an amateur. Whether the rationale for either opinion is sound or not, there are well-grounded reasons for both.
An Exclamation Point Can Support Lazy Telling and Not Energetic Showing
To explore the first assumption, this forces the consideration of Showing versus Telling from yet another perspective. The line, John was shocked! eliminates what could amount
to many pages (or at least a couple lines) of exposition describing what had contributed to poor John’s frenetic condition. While lessening the rhetorical load, without adequate support for its selection, an exclamation point will often weaken–perhaps even exponentially–the very gravitas the writer is trying to impart. And what about when this sort of punctuation shortcut is taken with dialogue; such as, when John turns to Mary and says, “I am shocked!” True, a lot could’ve happened that the reader is aware of which brought John to this horrific revelation. But it’s when an exclamation point is not supported by antecedent material that serious writing deficiencies present themselves, and many experts agree that this applies equally to both exposition and dialogue.
Now for the Really Grisly Stuff
Nothing is more disappointing than reading otherwise good material when it’s besmirched with punctuation overuse. And seldom is anything more disconcerting than when a writer feels he or she can make every page stand out by overwhelming the reader with exclamation points. If anyone should be writing like this, please ask yourself: If on the first page of my manuscript I have affixed 4 exclamation points and continued my narrative in this vein, and my work is 300 pages in length, is it conceivable that I’ve honestly created 1200 mind-rocking events? And of perhaps even greater significance, after the first 3 pages (and now 12 scintillating scenarios have occurred), can I expect the reader to withstand 1188 additional mind-blowing experiences before finishing my story? and how much impact can I expect exclamation point 1199 to have over what I wrote that elicited, say, exclamation point 662?
There Is an Answer, and It’s a Simple One
The example in the last paragraph was extreme, but I recently thumbed through a book that was very close to the exclamation point count I just described. And the author wondered why he’d never been published. There were other issues with this book, but it’s unlikely any reputable agent or bona fide royalty publisher would’ve finished the first page once this rampant misuse of punctuation glared at either of them.
Think One or Two Exclamation Points for an Entire Novel
A suggestion I’ve often heard, and agreed with, is to parse the completed draft of the novel and count the number of exclamation points that were used overall. If more than one exclamation point per 25,000 words, then it’s one too many. This previous sentence is so subjective that it was hard for me to write. But from personal experience, I’ve commonly gone back and analyzed fleshing out a scene rather than leaving an exclamation point to emphasize the story component. And I’ve found that adding to the narrative, and enabling this rhetoric to show the action–thus negating the exclamation point–to be the proper course of action in nine out of ten instances. If you should discover your material invested with abundant “exclaiming,” you might want to consider applying the same remedy.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Many Agents Do Not Accept Unsolicited Manuscripts
In the fiction area of the book-agenting arena, other than some agents/agencies now requesting or requiring submissions via E-mail, the rules for presenting preliminary material have not changed appreciably in the past 15 to 20 years. What has changed is the number of agents who no longer accept unsolicited material or work that has not been referred by someone with whom that agent has a business relationship, such as a respected colleague, writer, or editor.
To Succeed in Finding an Agent, Create and Follow a Plan
But while the submission guidelines are still relatively unchanged depending on
the agent: one-page query; query with five pages; query, synopsis, five pages; query, synopsis, first three chapters, etc., breaking through is more difficult than every. A writer can save a great deal of aggravation, time, and expense by creating and following a plan that enables the potential for agent review to be in the author’s favor from the outset.
Identify the Sub-Genre in Which Your Manuscript Is Written
First, it is critical for a writer to recognize in which sub-genre his/her work fits. For example, depending on who you talk to, there are now more than two dozen subsets in
the Suspense category, alone. Source agents who have found publishers for works in sub-genres the same as that in which your manuscript is written. The AAR web site is a great place to start, and another excellent free site is agentquery.com.
Query Agents Who Represent Authors Your Style Most Closely Emulates
Another option, if your story is written in the style of a well-known author, is to check the Acknowledgments page of a book by that writer, for his or her agent. Query this agent–even if the person professes not to accept unsolicited material. The worst that can happen is a rejection. But you could receive a request to see a portion of your novel, and there is a solid reason why:
Agents Work in Genres in Which They Are Successful
People are generally most comfortable with what they know. Agents are no different. Familiarity, in this instance, is most often an asset and not a liability. Agents want books they feel they can sell, and will gravitate toward genres in which they have positive history.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
I’ve written many articles during the past few years on the art of composing query letters, and these have consistently ranked among the most popular of anything I’ve published. But even after explaining what an agent is looking for, and that a query must read like liner notes and not a synopsis, I continue to receive questions from writers. So I thought it might be a good idea to dissect a query down to what I call its capillaries.
Successful Queries Consist of Four Distinct Parts
The four parts of a query letter are: the hook, the layout, the reason the book will appeal to a wide market, and the writer’s credentials.
The Opening Paragraph
The opening paragraph must contain a hook that differentiates the story from all others. It also must encapsulate the primary focus of the novel. Then it has to tell the agent that what follows is genuinely scintillating material which will be indicative of a story that is going to be a blockbuster, since all agents and publishers want only the next big book. This is not a joke or hype, even though some agents or publishers might intimate otherwise, especially when they are in a professorial mood.
Here’s What Not to Write for an Opening to a Query
My 85,000-word historical novel opens with Ma and Pa leaving Virginia in 1872 with plans for settling in Missouri. Uncle Dirk goes with the family and is arrested for killing a man in a bar fight. Pa tries to spring him from jail, but shoots the sheriff and gets himself arrested too. Ma goes on by herself with the family and meets a man in Missouri who she decides is more to her liking than Pa. Especially since Pa probably won’t get out of jail for several years, if ever. Ma has a baby by this man, a boy who grows up and runs for public office, but Pa comes back and tells Ma she done him wrong and is going to tell everyone what kind of woman she really is, and that her son is illegitimate. She decides to shoot herself rather than face her shame.
Here’s the Same Opening for a Query That’s Not in Synopsis Form
A VOW NOT TAKEN, my 85,000-word work of Commercial Fiction, is the story of a young woman whose husband is sent to prison in 1872 for trying to spring his brother from jail and shooting the sheriff during the botched escape. Emily Davis must brave the frontier to find a new life for herself and her family, and she discovers love and happiness with a man after she settles in Missouri. Her life is everything she could hope for, until her husband shows up 20 years later and threatens to expose her as a bigamist; and her son, who is now running for public office, as a bastard.
Now that the agent is excited, what more can the author offer? The woman has decided to shoot herself rather than face her shame. Is this by itself enough to build on? Let’s see.
The Second Paragraph Has to Elevate the Query to the “I Need to Read This Book,” Level
Emily contemplates taking the easy way out. One shot from the pistol and she is free. But as she places the gun to her temple, her life flashes in front of her and she uncocks the hammer. If only her husband had listened to her and left his brother in jail. She never told him what Dirk had done to her. Getting free of him was going to be a blessing. Why would her husband not leave with her and the children when she had asked him? Why wasn’t he stronger–and why wasn’t she?
The Third Paragraph Cinches the Deal
A VOW NOT TAKEN is a story of a woman in conflict, yet Emily’s methods for defeating adversity will give readers a window into their own hearts and a different perspective on
the difficult decisions that form people’s lives. Decisions, like Emily’s, which are not made because of necessity or convenience, but for love. Emily shows that clarity is a matter
of conviction solidified by time, and readers will be gratified when she is rewarded for maintaining her dignity while in the throes of intense peer pressure and public scorn.
A Little About Yourself and a Request
A VOW NOT TAKEN is my first novel. I have an English degree from CCNY, and I finished first-runner-up in statewide creative-writing contest sponsored by the local library system where I live. I maintain an active blog on which I offer chapters of my novel for review,
and I am encouraged by what has become a substantial following. I am writing to ask if
you would be interested in considering A VOW NOT TAKEN for representation. I am most appreciative of your time, and a SASE is enclosed for your reply.
Write a Comprehensive Opening Paragraph and Break It Down
Everything in this query for this pretend story, other than what I wrote at the end, came from the opening paragraph. Look for the parts in your story that set it apart. Is there love, hate, joy, fear, anxiety, jealousy? What is the story’s strongest element? That should be the lead.
In the make-believe novel I invented for this exercise, a woman is left to carry on by herself because of a husband who did not exercise good judgment. But can he be faulted
for his brotherly love? Yet was he completely ignorant of his brother’s violation of Emily? I chose not to focus on the latter issue in this storyline, but in your treatment it might be the compelling plot element. Then why would he try to rescue his brother? Didn’t he care about what was going on with his wife? Or was he scared of something else?
Once it’s established what makes the story tick, the entire query can be designed around this. It’s solely a matter of filling in the blanks. Just be certain not to “tell” the story in the query. Instead, “show” what makes the narrative work.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Many of us who professionally edit manuscripts spend a great deal of our time providing our clients with query letter assistance. And happily so. Because if we’re not coaching those who use our services on how to write effective query letters, a lot of very good authors are often unaware of some of the more critical nuances.
It’s a lot More Than Eschewing Adverbs and Running Adjectives
Forever, it seems, we have been warned against using adverbs in queries, the mind-set being that an agent will think that adverbs are indicative of the writer’s overall style. Hence, the novel will be teeming with “stopped suddenly” and “smiled broadly” sorts of tautological expressions. Or that there will be a plethora of “irregular, big, burgeoning, brown spots” or “loud, cantankerous, feeble, wrinkled, old people” lurking somewhere. These are givens in the realm of query letter writing, but what is to follow is not.
Avoid the Temptation of Comparing Your Writing to That of Another Author’s
First and foremost is the necessity of crafting a query that highlights the relevant hooks in the story and not to permit the letter to come across as an overzealous personal pitch vehicle for the author.
For example, if a query says that the work is written like a Pat Conroy novel, an agent can and often will infer that the author is stating that he or she writes as well as Mr. Conroy, a lofty goal indeed. If comparisons to other works are desired, it is much better to simply imply that the novel is written in the style of a particular noted author–and not that your ability mirrors that person’s skill sets, regardless of how you or others in your circle of friends and acquaintances might rate your talent.
Humility is a big plus; conversely, braggadocio is a sure way of turning off a literary agent, since how you comport yourself by the content and tone of the query can have a great deal to do with how an author’s representative will perceive working with you.
Be Certain to Write the Query in a Way That is Indicative of How You Wrote Your Novel
The well-respected literary agent and oft-published author, Noah Lukeman, wrote about how too much information via a writer’s bio can be more damaging that helpful. And so much so that the bio can serve as the means for rejection–and not the text of the manuscript itself.
When I first read Mr. Lukeman’s position on this I was appalled and offended, but as I thought about it more, I decided not to blame the messenger. If a writer is an academician in a scientific field, and that person’s query letter style, for a mystery novel for example, doesn’t indicate anything to the contrary, why should the agent think that the book is not written like a professorial thesis. In the same vein, if someone has been designing advertising copy for 20 years–and that individual’s query for a police thriller is rife with overblown rhetoric–why would the agent think any differently about the condition of the narrative he or she is being asked to read?
If Applicable, There Are Facts About an Unpublished Writer’s Background That Can be Advantageous
In line with what I’ve just illustrated, I suggest that unpublished writers write sparingly about their credentials, except should their CV include writing honors they’ve received, and only if this pertains to the genre in which the book they are presenting happens to be written. Workshop or symposium awards, and book competitions in which germane work was singled out for excellence, etc., are what the author would want to present at the close of the query. Forget everything else. Just thank the agent for his or her time and rest your case.
Give Yourself a Chance
If you’re careful about hype, watch the obvious benchmark rejection issues such as unnecessary adverbs and running adjectives, and keep you CV pertinent to the novel you are presenting, you’ll enable the description of your story’s features to dictate if the agent is going to request your manuscript. And you won’t be rejected for reasons that may have nothing to do with the quality of your work.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Query Letter Writing – a Daunting Dilemma
Some years ago, to add to a discussion I was encouraging related to the nuances of query letter writing, a woman who had just received a contract for her first novel–and
with Simon & Schuster no less–wrote me to lament how arduous she had found the task
of crafting her missive to appeal to agents. She admitted that she considered the query
more difficult than writing the actual work, and had spent over a year on her letter. For discretion’s sake, I won’t reveal the name of the author, but many people would recognize this now well-known Ph.D., and her breakthrough novel.
The Synopsis-Syndrome
I chuckled at her comment, not out of derision, but from empathy, since I have often
felt the same way about my own queries. While I haven’t spent a year on a letter to attract an agent, at times I wish I had. One of the problems is that I have often found my query turning into a synopsis. And in parsing the query letters of others, the synopsis syndrome, as I call it, seems to be the most chronic malady that inhibits the presentations (sic, queries).
For a Successful Fiction Query Letter, Size Does Not Matter
A writer desires to tell as much as possible about the story of which he or she is so passionate, and is often influenced by an industry success story in which someone has crammed as much as possible onto one page, even to the point of reducing font size to make the text fit. Unfortunately, in trying to mirror this, the end result for most is invariably a synopsis and not a presentation of the subtle plot and character elements that reflect the writer’s skill and which sets the work apart–and what will influence an agent to request the manuscript.
Think of a Query Letter As an Advertisement, and Sell the Sizzle and Not the Steak
An agent of mine once railed at me about a poor query I had sent him for a later novel because it told too much of the individual aspects of the story and not about the work as a whole. He said to write the query as if I was designing the liner notes for the novel. I found this to be some of the best advice I have ever received. As a comparison, if one wants to be successful in sales, one of the time-worn truisms is to “sell the sizzle and not the steak.” It might be suggested to apply the same axiom to writing a query letter. This can be like grasping Showing versus Telling the first time around (or the tenth), but it has to be understood if a query is going to work.
Write a Query from the Gut, Not the Heart
It might help to think of your work in visceral terms; meaning, what are the hard-hitting aspects of your story from an overall perspective. This will take your thinking beyond the brick and mortar. And remember, most of all, you are wanting to provide the agent with just enough knowledge of your work (and ability) to create interest. If you can do this succinctly and with skill, would it not be logical that the agent might assume that your novel is written at the same level? Should you review queries that have garnered agent representation, please notice how little is told about the actual stories, but how much the successful letters reflect the authors’ competence for writing quality prose.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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Fact: Query letter writing is an art form.
Make no mistake about it, writing queries that produce results is a craft.
Fact: A query should not be written like a synopsis.
I devoted an entire article to this, yet writers who have read the piece continue to send me sample queries that ignore this premise. Yes, there are exceptions. There are exceptions to everything in publishing. But if an author wants to entice an agent to stand up and take notice, as I said in the prior article, sell the sizzle and not the steak. Pure and simple, for fiction a query is best written if it mirrors liner notes.
Fact: A writer has to know the genre in which the work is written.
If the author doesn’t know the genre in which his or her work is written, any bona fide editor can explain it. A writer who doesn’t take the time to figure this out has virtually no chance. Genre identification is paramount. And while critique groups, etc., are a wonderful sounding board, they are historically populated by amateurs, and as such not the place to learn about genre specificity in today’s complicated and ever-changing market.
Fact: Structurally, a query can be designed like a short theme.
Yes, a simple but effective way to structure a query is like a theme. Begin with a core thought that highlights two or three critical plot elements. Justify these issues in the next paragraph, then close the letter with the thrust of the thesis: Why Readers Will Gravitate to the Story. Personal credentials if they pertain directly to the work can be added in a final brief sentence or two, along with a statement of appreciation for the agent’s or publisher’s time.
Fiction: Copying the words or phrases from a successful query will assure another query’s success.
Nothing could be further from the truth. A query should define the voice and strength of the writer and the project. An experienced agent or publisher can pick up the nuances of a writer’s style. Counterfeiting doesn’t work.
Fiction: Query letters should never contain questions.
This farce has been bandied about for some time and is ridiculous. No one likes a query that reads like a movie opening: In a world…followed by a “what if” scenario. But there is nothing at all problematic about asking an agent or publisher to consider a novel’s most poignant issue or issues. And if some agent has written to the contrary, so be it. Hundreds of other agents, and all of those I know and work with, think differently.
Fiction: A query should fill as much of the page as possible.
It’s quality not quantity that matters. A query with 500 words jammed on a page is not going to be perceived to be any better than 300 words that clearly and concisely reflect the writer’s skill and the “hot points” about the story he or she has written. An overwritten query can plant the thought that the novel is also structured in the same manner.
What can distort this last remark are the bloated query examples posted by some writers whose work has been accepted for publication. But when a query turns into a synopsis, which is almost always the tendency in longer efforts, it’s generally a quick reach by the agent or publisher for the SASE or the rejection template on the computer file.
Fiction: If my query doesn’t work the first time, I can write another one later to the same agent for the same book.
Agents keep records. At least many of the good ones I know do. And, universally, as I’ve experienced it, agents never want to see a query about the same material a second time any more than they will consider a manuscript they previously rejected. So it is imperative to get it right the first time.
A final thought: A poor query will never get a book in front of an agent; however, a great query can influence an agent to look at a novel that might just require a touch up. And critical feedback can often be gleaned from an agent. For anyone not using a professional editor (curses), I cannot think of a better way to receive professional advice without having to pay for it. However, most authors would be way ahead of the game if they sought professional direction to assure a quality query before bombarding a highly selective marketplace with less than sterling requests to review material.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
As an independent book editor who freely solicits outside material to edit, I receive a great many manuscripts with this caveat: I have sent my manuscript to many agents but received rejections that indicated my work needs editing by a professional. If I have you edit my manuscript, should I send it back to agents who have previously rejected it?
Agents Don’t Want to See Material a Second Time
At least this has been my experience for more than 20 years, during which time I’ve queried a half-dozen of my own novels. There are exceptions, but an editor for whom I carry great respect told me early-on that he had never heard of an agent representing a book from a heretofore unpublished author he or she had rejected earlier. And while I’ve had a well-regarded submissions editor refute this, until a writer tells me his or her personal book was accepted by the same agent after it was rejected, I’m sticking with my original statement and what the first editor told me. If someone was already published and has a following, this is a horse of a different color, but for industry unknowns, again, once a draft is rejected I suggest moving on to more fertile ground.
A Writer Can’t Be Faulted for Not Knowing the Nuances of the Business
There is no handbook on how to deal with agents or to what level an author’s representative will go to support a draft. Most novice writers think that if their work is good enough, an agent will accept the manuscript and polish it for them. Nothing could be further from the truth. But, again, it relates to where the writer is on the usefulness curve. If a writer is an established property, whatever an agent might not do a publisher will. Many publishers send drafts written by their franchise writers to editors for extensive revision. These editors are not often listed in the acknowledgments, but in some instances they do more writing on the work than the author. It’s just the way the business works.
Publishers Do Indeed Edit
To reinforce what I just wrote, when a problem is discovered, quite often the publisher will revise the text and sometimes this can entail major effort. But this is likely not going to involve a new author’s material unless that work is thought to have blockbuster potential. And even though every publisher wants “the next big book,” none are naive to the reality
of the probable sales numbers for the material they have agreed to publish.
There Is a Moral to This Story
And it pertains to timing. Few writers I have come in contact with, and I’m included in this lot, have not opted for Plan A and have sent out material that wasn’t ready. This is
why I’m particularly sympathetic to writers who typify this modus operandi. We all think we wrote something really good, and that if it needs a little touch up this will be provided at the agent level.
Unfortunately, an average agent’s workload consists of upwards of 50 queries each day, along with several manuscripts each week. Add to this the existing clients they represent (and specifically their needs) and how much time does an agent have left to edit material? Sure, the larger agencies have personnel to assist with the day-to-day chores and even to edit, but most employ or use interns as readers and do not have the capacity to hire editors.
However, there are agencies that do claim to provide extensive editing services for
their clients at no charge, including line editing. And while this might well occur, I have no personal knowledge or experience with any agencies that offer these services to heretofore unpublished writers. All I know about about are the crooked outfits that have scammed unsuspecting authors, and I’ve done my best over the years to alert writers to avoid them.
Same Old Same Old
My harangue is identical to what it has been for years. For all practical purposes, a draft gets one chance with an agent or publisher–and that isRobert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
all. So I don’t think it’s out-of-line to suggest having a professional critique material before sending out queries for it. Because,
in addition to the moon and the planets needing to be aligned in a precise syzygy, the one indisputable fact, if there is one in the publishing industry, is that a manuscript should be in the best possible shape the author can get it into, period, before submitting it for consideration by an agent or publisher.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
What Is a Redemptive Character?
In writing workshops, I’m often asked what is meant by writing redemptive characters, and even by experienced writers, so it’s not surprising when there’s confusion about the meaning. Simply, it implies writing a character(s) in a way that readers can find something about the person(s) to identify with or care about, and in best case scenarios–root for. But this paints the explanation in rather simple strokes. I find there’s much more to it, so let me spend the rest of this article providing some concrete ideas on how to apply this definition in a broader sense; but a little history first related to the traditional concept of the redemptive character.
Very Few Successful Novels Are Solely Plot Driven
I once asked an erudite workshop group to make a list of well-known novels with absolutely not one character who could be liked. After several months we’d parsed hundreds of books. There were a few honorable mentions (or dishonorable, if you so choose) such as ON THE ROAD and TROPIC OF CANCER. And I think THE SUN ALSO RISES and BREATHING LESSONS made the “almost list.” But when we’d finally completed our task, and a dozen people had contributed to this study of what amounted to more than a thousand works, only STUDS LONIGAN and WUTHERING HEIGHTS made it to the top of the heap. So writing a book without a likeable character that will sustain a reader is not an easy chore.
Manuscripts Are Rejected because Agents and Publishers Aren’t Invested in the Characters
Not becoming invested in the characters is often because these figures weren’t found
to be redemptive. Another knockout factor is to hear that the characters just weren’t interesting. So this begs the question, “What is a way to make a character interesting?”
One answer lies in writing a character who is genuinely likeable and therefore patently redemptive. Another technique is to make a character compelling, but with the reader’s approval of the person’s actions not entering into the equation.
A Character Doesn’t Have to be Paddy’s Equal in THE THORN BIRDS to Qualify As Redemptive
This is one time when there is a magic bullet, and it’s a Howitzer. But the answer is not always obvious. In THE GODFATHER, most of us pulled for Michael, along with the Don (and in separate eras). The majority of people cared about Clarice Starling in THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, but Hannibal held many people’s interest even more so as an antihero.
Perhaps with the Don and Hannibal, readers (and moviegoers) respected their power, however disparate its source. Yet while many people had their vicarious sweet tooth satisfied by the earlier Don, they later sympathized with the older character, which is a tribute to Mr. Puzo’s immense skill in character transitioning. With respect to Hannibal, he was viewed as an enigma. But since a lot of people were enticed (by Thomas Harris’s brilliance) to want to know why the good doctor had become a monster, this was the plot focus of the latest installment. For whatever the reason, many people unquestionably remained curious about the Hannibal Lector character.
Redemptive Character Writing Covers a lot of Ground, So There’s Plenty of Room to Get Comfortable
Don Corleone and Hannibal Lector might not seem like sterling examples of my
original definition of redemptive characters, but each in his own way is just that. Look at the recent vampire groundswell. The creatures are written in a manner that render people compassionate for their plight. A key to becoming published is to write characters who, regardless of their proclivity, are redemptive in the eyes of the reader.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
It’s All about Sound
Alliteration is often considered clever when used as hype by a newscaster such as Geraldo Rivera, but horribly annoying to a lot of people when the novelty wears off or the technique is overused. Sibilant sounds are funny when spoken via a cartoon character such as Donald Duck, while not so humorous when part of someone’s long-winded pontification
at a school board meeting. And while writing numerous consecutive words beginning with or containing letters such as a “c” or a “p” can be catchy in a commercial jingle, they might not be as well received when abundantly decorating a run of narrative.
Sound Means Everything to Text, as it Facilitates Both Rhythm and Pitch
Strong words, but true, since we hear what we read. Reason number 10,000 why it’s critical to read out loud whatever we write before we consider posting it, mailing it, offering it, or publishing it. But reading out loud also means a lot of sometimes painstakingly slow work for the writer, and why this cardinal rule is often so easy to side-step. Yet listening for certain untoward sounds, and modifying the rhetoric that enables them, has as much to do with readability as any other factor.
Start with the Obvious and Work toward Ferreting out the Subtler Grating Performers
“S’s” are the easiest culprits to recognize, since the hissing sound they engender is what sibilance refers to. And alliteration and sibilance combined are impossible for most readers to deal with. Phrases like, “She shifted seductively as she swayed towards his seat” are enough to turn off any reader. But what about subtle inflections such as “prepossessing smile,” “successful city servant” (soft “c’s” count too, ha ha), and “seven consecutive series.” There are indeed times when “smile” has to be modified to “allure,” “servant” to “employee,” and “consecutive” dropped and the phrase changed to “seven times in a row.”
Too Many “C’s and “P’s can Spoil the Soup
Soft “c’s” were mentioned in the earlier paragraph, but a preponderance of hard
“c’s” can be annoying in their own right. “Accommodating change encourages actionable outcomes,” is beyond a mouthful. And so is, “They appealed to the people in the principal opposition party.” Consider how both phrases are sitting on your mind right now, and then read either phrase out loud and see if you don’t come away with a sore jaw.
The Key is Balance
No writer sets out to aggravate the reader when the intent is to craft fluent prose. But the tendency for many writers is to be complacent and not look for the little tics that can sometimes evolve into major trouble spots. Reading material out loud, and listening closely to how it sounds, is the best advice anyone can give or receive. If it sounds bad, it reads bad. It’s that simple. Again, it’s all about sound.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
Never is it truer that the human mind works in strange ways than when an author finds his or her draft littered with the same words or phrases. What makes this particularly galling is that proficient writers strive not to do this, yet quite often are unable to prevent syntax which is redundant–or reads as repetitive–from appearing on a page.
Words That Stand Out–Unfortunately
Oddly, it’s the words that are most ordinary which can often cause the most grief.
Words such as “because” or “become,” should they be placed in consecutive sentences or paragraphs (even lengthy ones), can stick in the reader’s mind as redundant. Along this line of commonality, too many “was’s” can gum up an otherwise good run of narrative. Word repetition can be as hard on the reader as the excessive use of specialty punctuation such as the semi-colon or the exclamation point.
Some More of The Usual Suspects
Another chronic problem is the word “would,” since the options for a suitable substitute generally are limited to “should” and “could,” at best. Perhaps the greatest difficulty of all is what to use after the first “but.” “However,” “yet,” and even “except,” can often serve in a pinch, but–well, you see the problem.
The Fix for Overuse of the Conjunction “But”
The best way to remedy repeating the conjunction “but” is to begin a new sentence as if it were an extended thought and not a contrary view. Example: John saw Mary in the park, but didn’t like the guy she was with, so he kept walking. Rewrite as: John saw Mary in the park. He didn’t like the guy she was with, so he kept walking.
Select Alternates for Prepositions
“Afterwards” can become “later,” just as “under” can often be modified to read “below” and not deprecate the writer’s intent. And while we are trained to use one word to take the place of many, it’s sometimes prudent to write “at this time” instead of a redundant “now.” Even a “presently” might need to be inserted instead of “now” to prevent duplication.
Homonyms Are Just as Bad as Repeating Words
I recently read a draft with the following phrase: The weather was going to determine whether or not they would be going out. This is an easy sentence to repair by substituting “if” for “whether,” and dropping the “or not.” But it’s not always simple to spot a problem. In this following sentence, the syntax might be ignored: Every fall, John would haul wood in his wheelbarrow. And even something more blatant might be missed, such as: It was too much to bear, and I barely got the words out.
Both Complicated or Sophisticated Words Must be Watched
When a writer uses words such as “conflagration” or “beatification,” these can only be placed in a novel once. And I don’t even like to see them in multiple novels by the same author. The latter comment might seem a stretch, but when an author develops an unintended tic, this isn’t good, since it makes the writing stale in the eyes of the loyal reader.
Phrases, Especially Clever One’s, Cannot be Used Again
A slick phrase will stay with the reader, and the ability to craft this sort of rhetoric is often why people lean toward certain authors. But it’s important to keep in mind that the inherent nature of a unique rift of narrative is what will be remembered. A phrase like the following, including the adjective predicate by itself, can only be written one time: His face contorted, as if the result of an unpleasant musical note of his own making. One contorted face per book, please, regardless of how it got that way,
But What If There Are Only so Many Ways Something Can be Written?
When I’m writing a police thriller, I often run into a problem with the word “policeman.” After perhaps following it with “cop,” and later “officer,” then “patrolman” (if it fits), I’m forced to return to the first noun. There are indeed times when there are only so many options to identify a person by name or profession and still be accurate. In the “policeman” example, if the person’s last name is Jones, creating Patrolman Jones, Officer Jones, or offering just plain Jones to the mix in a long scene may still not be enough, and there will be no choice but to repeat a handle.
Yet when it’s deemed necessary to restate a name in the same sentence, this should be an extremely rare occurrence and every attempt should be made to write around this sort of thing. And it’s important to keep in mind that no matter how problematic the text might read when certain words continue to reappear, redundant phrases can leave a much more negative impression of the narrative.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
Sometimes the Most Respected Reference Manuals Don’t Provide Pertinent Advice
Most often the reason for the error is the time that has passed since some rule was written. An example of this is a reference in THE CHICAGO MANUAL OF STYLE that allows for placing thoughts in quotations. This has been eschewed for decades, but in my writing workshops not long ago I had a participant cite section 10.42 from TCMOS and the following text: “I don’t care if we have offended Morgenstern,” thought Vera.
Fortunately, TCMOF illustrates four other ways to handle thoughts, and I believe any contemporary writer will be well advised to choose either of the last two, which is either straight interior monologue without any quotation marks or the use of italics.
THE CHICAGO MANUAL OF STYLE Also Approves of Dual Punctuation Ending a Sentence
Every so often I’ll receive a draft from a client with both a question mark and an exclamation point at the end of a sentence. Never write like this. If a question is exclaimed with such force that an exclamation point is deemed necessary too, use it as the only punctuation to end that sentence and allow it to supersede the question mark. Again, never both—no matter how tempting it might be.
Strunk and White Are at the Top of the List of Style Enemies
I believe it’s fair to state that almost every college student who has ever taken a 101 English course was informed via the syllabus to latch on to a copy of THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE by Strunk and White. A while ago I was sent a very clever article about all that was wrong with this manual from the perspective of grammar, and while I could credit the author and replicate what I was provided, it would consume pages. So let me instead offer one example that stood out for me from my first reading of THE ELEMENTS eons ago. It dealt with avoiding unnecessary adjectives and reads as follows: “The adjective hasn’t been built that can pull a weak or inaccurate noun out of a tight place.” The sentence contains three adjectives.
THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE is rife with misstatements about grammar that are evident to anyone who studies English. A great many of the problems are related to pompous drivel from Mr. Strunk (and later never corrected by Mr. White when he lent his magic to the text) and have nothing to do with style or grammar. This involves questionable advice about when not to apply commas in a series (hence fomenting the “running comma” debate) to their absurd rationale for eschewing passive voice except in extreme circumstances, exacerbated by the inaccuracy of three of their four examples of passive voice that are in fact active! No wonder so many people who took an English101 course became confused—and stayed that way forever.
It’s Important to Recognize Words That Don’t Convey Their Intended Meaning
“Moot” means debatable, yet many people think it refers to the opposite. And sentences designed as aids to illustrate the word’s correct usage serve to advance this misconception. Here are two sentences taken directly from Dictionary.com: “If you cannot repay your friend right now, the question is moot.” And: “Which factor is the more important and which is the least remains a moot question.” With examples like these, what is someone supposed to think is the definition of “moot”? After reading either of these sentences, it’s easy to see how a person might assume that either issue is no longer open for discussion, when in fact the opposite is true. The best way I know to keep this straight is to think of “moot” in relationship to a “moot court,” which refers to a debate court.
I’ve mentioned “mundane” before in articles, but the word fosters repeating my contention. It originally meant “worldly” and “elegant.” Now it means “commonplace” and “ordinary,” and is generally used in a disparaging way. Yet when we read a Victorian-era novel in college, “mundane” was meant in its original context.
Understand the Time Frame of a Work’s Publication
Reference manuals that pertain to rhetoric–as well as the words that compose the English language–must all be viewed in a contemporary context. This is no different from reading a work such as Kafka’s METAMORPHOSIS, which was published in the ’20s, and assume in 2012 that any of us can mimic that style and place our protagonist’s thoughts in quotations.
Read Current Bestseller Debut Material to Develop a Comfort Zone
This isn’t sure-fire, but a writer can generally get a feel for what’s acceptable by reading a debut novel that has become a success–and was originally published by a major imprint. Most first-time published authors have had to follow current convention quite closely, and this will often give an aspiring writer a decent idea of what will pass muster, as this book has had to run the publishing gantlet or it wouldn’t be on the bookshelf.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
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Showing vs. Telling
What separates many writers is the ability to recognize when to utilize which technique. A suggestion is to always write the scene in a Show format, knowing that you can always change to the Tell medium if you wish to provide readers with a chance to catch their breath.
The last statement should also explain the main flaw with Telling, as it can very often retard the pace of the scene.
Telling the Action
Jack was having a tough time with life. Everything he was doing lately had seemed to turn out wrong. Even the simplest aspects of his daily activities had begun to take their toll. Look at what happened when he got out of bed in the morning. He had stumbled around, as if in a blue funk. He’d been hurt when he’d fallen against his dresser and pulled it over while he was trying to right himself. He didn’t care who might have heard him throwing the unit against the wall or the damage it might have caused. And after he made his way into the bathroom and began to prepare himself for another day, he wasn’t sure if it was worth it.
Showing the Action
Like life itself, Jack could not find his balance. He fell against the chest of drawers and caught himself before stumbling backward and pulling the unit with him. A drawer flew
open and hit him in the side, and he and it collapsed onto the bed like two clumsy lovers. He threw off the drawer and let it bang hard against the wall, cracking the plaster, unconcerned that the noise and vibration might have startled the newborn child in the apartment below. He weaved his way to the bathroom, and as he stared in the mirror and ran the water, not caring if it was hot or cold, he took out his razor. He didn’t lather his face, but kept glaring at what he saw–and wondered.
Not that these are spectacular examples, but they do identify the difference between Telling and Showing. Which would you rather read?
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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Sometimes Telling Is More Effective Than Showing
An author and scholar for whom I have immense respect added fuel to a long simmering fire by stating in a recent book of hers on writing that too much is made out of Showing instead of Telling. To paraphrase one of her points, she writes that the avoidance of telling leads to confusion which causes novice writers to think everything should be acted out. And to quote her, “There are many occasions in literature in which telling is far more effective than showing.”
Agents and Editors Are the Harshest of Critics
If everyone wrote as well as this woman (she has over two dozen titles to her credit), or the brilliant mostly classical authors and their literary works she cites in her book, who could argue? And that is the rub. Especially for someone trying to become published for the first time, and who is having his or her manuscript viewed by the harshest of critics–book agents and book editors. People who are seemingly searching, as if with an electron microscope, for the most miniscule detail to warrant rejecting material.
Don’t Wave a Red Flag – Avoid the Dreaded “Been’s”
In the real world of an author fighting tooth-and-nail for his or her manuscript to receive a fair hearing, the writer has to provide a narrative that does not wave a red flag–or even a yellow one. Nothing can kill a book quicker than if it is perceived to be written in a passive voice, which is most often indicative of scenes crafted in a Telling rather than Showing form. Other than breaking up too many uses of “was” or “were” by substituting an occasional “had been” or “have been,” it is important to avoid the “been’s” and therefore the passive voice narratives that Telling has a tendency to engender.
If a Choice, Overwrite Show Rather Than Tell
While it is 100% correct that many times it is advisable to Tell instead of Show, for most authors pursuing a major royalty publisher, it is much better to have overwritten Show than Tell. Let me put it this way: I’ve never heard of anyone being rejected for the former, but very often for the latter. So while the ongoing Show versus Tell debate may whet some appetites for eschewing the argument altogether, writers need to incorporate as many accepted elements as possible into their material, and Showing (and the active voice is supports) is considered a component of quality prose writing in the overwhelming number of instances.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
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The most obvious idea that works for the majority of people is to read material aloud. Unfortunately, many writers get so close to their work that it’s often difficult if not impossible to get a fair “hearing.” Everything sounds good because of familiarity. And this is the real problem, not the purported inability to distinguish word tempo. If a writer–who claims imperceptibility to the nuances of his or her own work–reads somebody else’s material, will the same issues persist? It’s probably worth finding out.
A Second Step Is to Listen as Someone Else Reads Your Material Out Loud
A lot of people can’t sing a note, but can readily distinguish the slightest miscue from a vocalist on stage. I’ve found that most writers can pick up flaws in their work when it’s read to them. Personally, I pay attention to the slightest hesitation on the part of the speaker, because when this occurs, in almost every instance this can be attributed to an inadequate word choice or syntax issue on my part.
One Warning: Find Someone to Read the Work Who Is Not a Professional Speaker
A short while ago I conducted a workshop series in which a woman who attended possessed a fabulous voice and was a public speaker by vocation. I think she could read the names and addresses from a telephone directory and spellbind an audience. Needless to say, when she read her own writing, it sounded solid if not quite good at times. But without the benefit of her audio assist, when I parsed her material later, the writing was mediocre, at best. So, even if you know a Katie Couric or Sam Donaldson type, you’re better off with Irene the Secretary or Joe the Salesman for this exercise, just as long as they’re decent readers to begin with.
One Rule, and What a Writer Should Listen For
Once someone is willing to read material aloud for the writer who created it, I strongly suggest asking the reader not to preview any of the text, but to start right in with the narrative. Then pay attention to any breaks that indicate obvious needs for a touch up, but also listen to the ease or difficulty the reader is having pronouncing the words. Listen for repeating words or phrases that might have been ignored. Pay particular attention to repeating sounds made by the letters “p” and “c,” along with runs of sibilant sounds that make passages seem to be hissed rather than enunciated.
Make an Honest Evaluation
Did some of the sentences sound clipped? Were connectives utilized that enabled clauses to blend fluently with one another? Did the reader ever seem to be running out of breath? How well did the material transition from sentence to sentence, character to character, and scene to scene? As for the dialogue, did the words sound natural? And with respect to dialogue, was there adequate interior monologue to enable the reader to catch his or her breath now and then? Was there variety in the construction of the overall narrative? And perhaps most important of all, did the reader seem to enjoy the material?
A Writer Will Have Answers
If a writer pays attention to the points I made in the previous paragraph, picking up the rhythm of the overall narrative will not be that difficult. And once the gremlins are eradicated, a revision will often produce a draft so superior to its predecessor that even the most challenged ear will appreciate the improved pitch.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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What Does It Mean When Told to Start the Story Sooner?
Last fall I attended a writer’s symposium with a dais that included several well-known mystery writers who fielded questions prepared by a skilled moderator. Each writer was asked what he or she felt was the single most significant issue for which anyone seeking publication should be concerned.
One of the program’s participants, Jim Born, a successful local author I’ve gotten to know and whose writing I enjoy, said that beginning the story sooner was his best advice. It’s mine, too, and I decided to devote this article to explain why.
It Pertains to Writing Without the Proper Regard for Movement
When I analyze a client’s manuscript after reading it for the first time, I often have to make a determination as to when I think the story truly “begins.” And when I submit my critique on the work to its author, at times this is confusing, since my notes, which I always include, might indicate the opening chapters were quite good or that the characters had been well developed–but later reference an annotation I’d made that the story should’ve begun on page 31, or page 55, or page 100.
It’s Not that the Early Narrative Isn’t Good; It’s that It Doesn’t “Set Off” the Story
My all-time favorite example of this is THE RETURN OF THE NATIVE, a book which I rescued from the trash can three times before finally slogging through the opening to discover a very good story for the most part. The first 50 pages, or so it seemed, were devoted to the description of Egdon Heath and its physical and social nuances. And while unquestionably of monumental importance to Thomas Hardy, I found this abundant early-stage minutia to have nothing whatsoever to do with advancing the plot in what could remotely be considered a timely fashion.
Unfortunately, Some Writers Today Work As If in Hardy’s Era
We have to grant Hardy obvious leeway related to the time when his book was published, since this was in 1878. However, today’s writer has to be aware of the competition for the attention span of the contemporary reader. For this reason, as much as any, it is imperative to make an honest evaluation as to when the first compelling action in a story takes place. And it’s critical to keep in mind that this is often not solely predicated by determining the first incidence of conflict.
But What About Authors Such as Jody Picoult or Tom Clancy Who Write Intensively Descriptive Narratives?
It would be easy to look at either Ms. Picoult or Mr. Clancy and refer to genre to justify their writing styles, but this would be a gross miscarriage. Both employ their opening elements to set up their stories–and then they move on. And herein lies the major difference between their skill sets in this aspect of crafting exceptional prose and that of the average amateur writer trying to create quality material. Ms. Picoult and Mr. Clancy set up their work with introductory material to propel their plot lines forward–and never the other way around.
The Conflict Has to Be Advanced by the Ensuing Narrative, Not Supported by It
It is imperative to look at work and ask these sort of questions: Was it essential to write an entire chapter about walking through the graveyard? What about the laborious description of the house and the grounds before the fire? Was Jesse’s attitude on the way to the funeral with Jim significant enough to write four pages about it? Any of these seemingly stupendous story elements might not be that valuable it they are not a driving force behind the narrative that follows.
Sometimes it’s nothing more than moving scenes from one location to another. But in other instances it’s unfortunately necessary to hit the delete key–no matter how painful this may be–and begin the novel with material that enables the ensuing narrative to advance and not retard the plot.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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The first time I read the word “tautology,” I thought because of the “logy” suffix it referred to the study of something. However, in the realm of language, tautology isn’t considered the study of anything but the analysis of an element of writing. Specifically, the needless repetition of a word. Not that I can improve on the definition of the three dictionaries I use for reference, yet I believe tautology is easier to understand if it’s referred to as modifying a word with a word that implies the same thing.
The All-Time Classic Is One Phrase We Hear Every Day
“It’s the same exact thing,” is the most obvious case of tautology we are exposed to on a routine basis. Can there be the slightest difference between “same” and “exact” in any context? Is there anything wrong with saying “It’s the same thing” when discussing something that is identical. Yet those who write copy, for newscasters in particular, seem to relish telling us that something is the same exact thing at every opportunity. Or it’s the exact opposite, as if “exact” makes something more opposite.
Tautology Comes in Many Forms
Many people have written in the drafts of theirs I’m sent to edit that a character has looked up at the sky or down at the floor. Unless someone is an astronaut, is it possible to look down at the sky? How about up at the floor? Just like looking down at the sky, it’s possible to create a scenario in which a person would look up at a floor, but it takes some work.
Tautology Creeps Into Our Rhetoric in Subtle Forms Too
An example I noticed in a dictionary was “widow woman.” But what about the following examples: hurtful injury, unhappy frown, mean sneer, happy smile, joyous glee, and black darkness?
However, if a connotation is desired that goes outside the accepted obvious implication for injury, frown, sneer, smile, glee and darkness, it’s of course acceptable if not desirable to modify each noun. Slight injury, deep frown, loud sneer, brief smile, tempered glee, and eerie darkness are each couplets with greater meaning because of the modifier.
Tautology Isn’t Limited to Nouns
I read recently a line in which a photograph was blown up larger. Could it be enlarged any other way? The same as reduced smaller or fell down. Yes, someone can theoretically fall up the stairs, but this is certainly not common enough to be accepted as idiom.And it’s what’s acceptable to a language that in large measure determines tautology.
Ask Yourself, Am I Saying the Same Thing?
Variety keeps a narrative fresh, and it starts by making certain we’re adding to the meaning of the nouns and verbs we modify. When a writer pays attention to tautology, I’ve generally found this author just as introspective when analyzing core thoughts and making certain these themes aren’t over-justified by the text that follows.
And If I’m Not Saying the Same Thing?
One final remark, and it involves making certain something is indeed tautological. I was taken to task a while ago for using the couplet “much more.” An erudite chap mentioned that an instructor of his in grammar school, no less, said this phrase was redundant and therefore superfluous. I respected his comment and complimented him for his good fortune at having a teacher who was so precise and willing to share such good advice with children that young. But I ask anyone reading this article, would you rather have more money on your next week’s paycheck–or would you rather to have much more?
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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Many years ago I was playing golf with my literary agent at the time, and we were discussing a novel I had written that he was representing. He’d just finished reading a substantial revision he had urged me to make, and I was anticipating a positive response
to what had taken a great deal of effort on my part to make happen. But when I asked him what he thought, his reply stumped me, because all he said was that my story needed more of a chase.
Writers Must be Alert to What They’re Told by Agents, Editors, and Publishers
The agent and I had become good friends over the course of a three-year period.
So when I heard his remark, I wasn’t uncomfortable telling him what I thought of it. I remember even saying, after I topped a ball into the lake, that I was not going to revise
the story any further. Instead of snapping back at me, he laughed and told me that no writer can ever say never to revising. Then he explained his meaning of “chase” to me.
Conflict and Peril
His contention was that I hadn’t created a level of conflict that placed the protagonist
in enough consistent peril for my thriller to work in a mass-market environment. And plot consistency, especially since this has so much to do with a story’s pacing, is an element a seasoned agent will have a sense for. A writer must heed what he or she is told–no matter how much it might hurt to hear the truth.
More Honest Words Were Probably Never Spoken
I’m convinced that book was never published because I failed to take the agent’s advice and create a more powerful plotline that constantly focused on the anxiety surrounding my protagonist’s condition. The agent even told me exactly how to do this, but I was too immature as a writer to understand what he was suggesting. Today, I’m five novels beyond that one, but I’ve looked back at the book on several occasions and chuckled at my indifference to what I recognize now as such an obvious deficiency.
A Chase Means One Thing
All writers must have this goal for their stories, and this is to make it hard (sic, impossible) for readers to put down their books. This is what writing a strong chase is all about. And it applies to all genres.
Can Ma and Pa Ingalls make a new life on the prairie for Laura and the rest of their family? Is Buck ever going to be reunited with his owner in Alaska? What is going to happen to Billy Budd while he is being tried for a crime he didn’t commit? Will Scarlett marry Rhett? Can Agent Starling capture Dr. Lector? Will Harry survive the trials and tribulations foisted on him by his detractors at Hogwarts?
The chase gets down to maintaining a level of anxiety that keeps the reader engrossed in the protagonist’s predicament, and it’s undeniably the most critical element for the success of any story.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to theperfect[email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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In writing, the reveal is the key element that explains what has enabled a story to
hold the reader’s interest, and a component that is generally retained until the last possible moment. Many a book is judged by how well this is handled. If the work is strong, commonly this is because the finale contains a riveting reveal, yet it doesn’t always mean this occurs at the very end of the story. More on this later.
Certain Genres Lend themselves to Great Reveals
By their very nature, mysteries and thrillers are the most obvious genres for which scintillating reveals would seem best suited. But romances, fantasy, YA, and every other genre demand a reveal. If not, a story’s premise would never be accepted by the reader. Material falls short when the narrative doesn’t finish with a powerful enough reveal. Simply, the ending doesn’t live up to the plot elements. And nothing is more frustrating for a reader than to be left unfulfilled because a plausible “answer” didn’t materialize.
At Times It Works Best to Write the Ending First
I often suggest to authors who habitually have struggled with endings to write them first. In this way, they can craft material to meet the standards their respective reveals require, and not the other way around. It’s sort of like writing a joke, since commonly the punchline is created initially and the material leading up to it is figured out later.
The Reveal and the Denouement Can be the Same, but Not Always
It’s easy to slip into the mold of thinking that a reveal and a denouement are always interchangeable, but they aren’t, and this is the point I was making at the end of the first paragraph of this article. For a literary example, in THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME,
while Quasimodo’s bones turning to dust at the very end is indeed startling, the booties earlier being assigned to Esmeralda is the reveal the reader has been “waiting for.”
Examples of Books with Great Reveals
Stories don’t require the planet to be saved via a 24-style, heart-stopping set of reveals. What makes a work memorable–and as a byproduct, often remarkable–is a reveal that enables the reconciliation of an “open” plot element, or which adds and answers an unexpected twist set up by an earlier plot point.
Some of my favorite examples of reveals are provided via the classics, with THE AGE
OF INNOCENCE perhaps illustrating the quintessential example of a reveal, since the “entire story” happens 100,000 words into a 101,500-word work. In the more contemporary market, I liked the way Amy Tan finished THE JOY LUCK CLUB, E. L. Doctorow’s treatment of BILLY BATHGATE, and Ken Follett’s heart-warming conclusion to THE EYE OF THE NEEDLE.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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Most people associate a “tic” with the spelling “tick” and think of it as the little parasite that sucks the hemoglobin from someone’s pooch. Then it becomes not so little anymore as it morphs into a giant sac of blood in a host that’s hard to kill even when squished. I find it appropriate to apply this gross analogy to a tic in writing.
A Tic By Any Other Name is Still a Tic
By definition, a tic in writing parlance is “a frequent quirk in the narrative.” The operative word is “frequent.” And what isn’t added to the description is that tics, like their animal counterparts, can be so annoying to their recipients that they often become downright painful.
“You Know” Can and Does Apply to Writing
Everybody has a friend or acquaintance who asks “You know?” in every sentence. In speech, this sort of tic is easy to pick up. However, in a narrative there are other forms of tics that are more difficult to spot–until it’s too late.
“Chuckling,” “Laughing,” and “Looking” Lead the List
I read a raw draft recently that was quite good except that the writer’s characters had
a penchant for chuckling. And often for no apparent reason. I had another work in which everyone was constantly laughing, apparently finding things more humorous–at all times
in their lives–than their less jovial counterparts who only chuckled. I noticed that one of my own drafts contained characters who were constantly looking up, down, around, over, under, through, and into things. Simply, too much “looking” was taking place.
The overworked actions I just mentioned can be sought out and corrected, as a
search via the “find” function can quickly display the number of times a common word such as “look” shows up in a narrative. But some tics are subtle, and this is where it can get sticky.
Too Many Characters Can Have the Same Attributes
This doesn’t mean that their dialogue is identical, or their personalities, or their appearances, although each of these characteristics could be considered a tic. In the world of “ticdom,” to make the grade each character can simply react to something in the identical manner, numerous times throughout the story. I read an otherwise brilliant novel recently that had multiple characters tossing out clever one-liners, from the grocer to the plumber
to the pediatrician. Only a single comedian per novel, please.
Look for Repetition
When a writer starts out, it’s easy to have several characters saying and doing similar things. But as authors mature, it’s important to delineate syntax so tics don’t occur unless they’re a component of the storyline. And it’s valuable to recognize that if a character is repeating the actions of another, this is no different from a dialogue oddity that becomes nettlesome to the reader. Again, a tic is still a tic.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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A while back, a man who had served on the first nuclear-powered aircraft carrier read me a scene from a war story he’d written. The prose was fine, but the flow of his material was disrupted by constant references to military time, as if he were providing a report to his superior officer, on a rigid schedule.
Nothing can slow the pacing of a story quicker than constantly referencing time. The reason is that time references inherently draw attention to gaps, and the reader tends to wonder what happened during the periods that are not accounted for. The problem becomes especially acute when the reader’s attention is drawn to long spans of “missing” time. The assumption is “What did I skip?” when nothing was omitted from the story.
“Soon” and “Later” Are Great Levelers of the Playing Field
Timeline issues are exacerbated when the reader is focused on them. If something starts at 0043 hours and nothing else is discussed until 2357 hours, readers are going to wonder what happened for almost a full day. To remedy drawing attention to gaps, words that express time in the abstract such as “soon” and “later” can be used to fill “open space” in a narrative.
Avoid Specificity with Time and Distance
Not long ago I remember reading that it was about 2:27 p.m. First, 27 minutes is as exact as it can get unless the book is about Greenwich Mean Time or some event that requires split-second action. Simply write “at 4:27″ and continue the thought. And if something happened at 4:27, there had better be a very good reason. Otherwise, round the number to the nearest half-hour, as most readers hate having to pause to consider exact time.
However, for purposes of pitch or tone, a writer might use “about” or “around” to modify time. The same with phrases such as “shortly before” or “just after” a specific time reference. But the decision to write time in this manner should be made with care.
Distance Has Its Own Set of Preferences
Walking “about” a mile, or something was “approximately” a half-mile away, is a waste of two good adverbs. “Walking a mile” or “It was a half-mile away” is much easier on the reader. “About 6 feet tall” is certainly acceptable in some circumstances, but writing “6 feet tall” without the modifier is almost always better. Likewise, “He weighed about 200 pounds” is not superior to “He weighed 200 pounds.” Does anyone really care about “about?”
Here’s an Easy Exercise Regarding Approximations
Would someone write that his shoe was almost a size 10 1/2? or that his cap size was approximately 7 3/4 inches? Most people would write that he wore an average-size shoe
and a medium-size hat. Even though these examples pertain to size, if we think in those terms it makes it much easier to express time and distance in a way readers can quickly assimilate.
When writing a novel, it’s easy to assume that as long as time is accounted for in some manner, all will be well. Nothing, however, can be further from the truth. In reality, the explanation can often be more damaging than the omission.
What Happened During the Time Readers Aren’t Told About?
Consider this passage: John and Mary are having a torrid extramarital relationship that her spouse has suspected for some time. He’s known for being hot-headed, and when his suspicions are confirmed he’s blind with rage and immediately seeks ways to retaliate against both of them. Three months later, John and Mary are confronted in a parking garage by her husband, who, wild-eyed, is brandishing a machete and screaming epithets at both of them.
Huh? I’m certain anyone reading the preceding paragraph would find it downright ridiculous that 90 days passed before this caliber of firebrand did something drastic, yet I read these unexplained–and therefore undesirable–gaps all the time.
Imminent Actions Require Equally Imminent Timelines
Could readers be expected to accept that a character with a short temper–and now blinded by rage–would put off doing something drastic for even 90 minutes? On a softer but no less important note, if a writer wrote 90 days of inactivity into an action story, is it practical to expect readers not to want to know what was transpiring during the interim?
In the case of the example, what was Mary’s husband doing during those three months? Was he planning the ultimate reprisal, and did it require this much time to adequately prepare each aspect of his scheme? Or was he more concerned about not having evidence of his actions point in his direction, and therefore everything had to be just right?
Sometimes Even a Solid Explanation Isn’t Enough
In Mary’s husband’s situation, no amount of explanation could likely justify 90 days of inactivity in the storyline. And this is the problem with so much of what I’m sent when writers are more concerned about adhering to their “datelines” than providing continuity for the movement of their plots. Authors should never be criticized for their concern for accuracy, but this can never trump movement. Because once the reader stops to consider a gap in time, everything in the story at that moment comes to a screeching halt.
Omission Is a Technique, But It’s Far from Foolproof
Omitting time references is a method to avoid hindering a plot’s natural movement. But this can be just as detrimental if the reader wonders what had occurred during time for which there was no accounting.
The only way to guarantee continuity is to determine the crucial plot timelines and eschew those that fall outside that category. Once the critical time references of the story are isolated, a writer can then decide how often and where to integrate them into the narrative.
A Gap Is a Gap
With the rarest of exceptions, tight timelines are mandatory to hold a reader’s attention. Long or unexplained gaps will confuse people, and once a timeline seems improbable, the reader will put down a book. A simple way to look at this is from the perspective of timelines as a pacing medium. If something seems to take a long time to develop, is the scene’s energy level, and therefore its pacing, generally going to be fast or slow?
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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A Great Title May Not Get Your Book Published, but It Can Get Your Story Noticed
When I was recently asked to write an article on how to come up with a great title for a book, it would have been easy to suggest that someone should craft a great story first. But GONE WITH THE WIND, THE SUN ALSO RISES, THE SOUND AND THE FURY, and THE POWER AND THE GLORY would’ve been exceptional books regardless of their titles. So would THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY, SHIP OF FOOLS, and ATLAS SHRUGGED. But in both groups, only SHIP OF FOOLS would’ve been a certain match for someone browsing the shelves of a library for something to read, since the story did indeed take place on a ship on which a lot of foolish people had embarked.
An Author’s First Responsibility Should be to Identify the Story’s Most Significant Element
Just as many writers have difficulty recognizing the genre in which their story is written, authors are often perplexed at how to express their story in terms that clearly relate its unique characteristics. If a writer works on this skill, and anyone who has any hope of becoming published must do this, channel this presentation into a ten second elevator pitch, since you’ll need to perfect one of these too. In these ten seconds, you’ll likely have spoken 15 to 20 words. Assuming you’ve toiled long and hard to craft your short presentation, what is the message?
Use the Power Point in the Elevator Pitch to Create Your Title
Since you’ve now analyzed your story to its most definitive level, something in the story has motivated you to come up with a powerful spit of rhetoric that says it all. Your story is brilliantly conceived and Fitzgerald should only have written as well. Now remember your favorite novels and think about the story lines and the titles. Look at your manuscript in the same way and imagine what would best reflect the words you wrote.
KANSAS FLASH might not be about University of Kansas and Chicago Bears football great Gayle Sayers, but the life of a county fair huckster who became a phony tent evangelist and then really turned to God (a modern-day Beckett); THE CRUMBLED HEART, instead of romance or horror, could be a story of the inability of a child prodigy to attain expected greatness; THE BITTER TASTE OF SWEET SUCCESS might tell the tale of a character like Harry Angstrom in the RABBIT series.
Keep in Mind that Your Publisher Will Have the Final Say
I happened to check Amazon for each of the three titles I just made up and none of them were listed. I suggest doing the same (and with your local library) with whatever you create. This is especially important if your title matches or impinges on another author’s in the same genre in which you are writing. This happened to me twice in fifteen years, so this is one subject I can relate to from personal experience and wish I couldn’t. And remember that no matter how good you think your title might be, the publisher may suggest or even require something different.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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The craft of creating professional correspondence has as much to do with understanding the tone in which the letter is to be presented as in any other factor. A letter’s purpose can be diminished, misconstrued, or lost in total if the correspondence is not written with the desired inflection. If you are writing or editing for someone, to avoid these pitfalls, it is imperative to communicate with your employer or client so that the letter’s premise can be converted to the perfect write for that person’s needs.
In conversation, a tone of voice may indicate one thing when the intention is quite different. Should the speaker recognize the error, this misspeak can be remedied by an apology, by glossing over the infraction, or simply by an abundance of rhetoric intended to cause the listener to forget what had been said, earlier. But when the words are committed to paper, the luxury of remedy is not always possible.
We were trained via our business communications textbooks (a hundred years ago in my case) to practice certain techniques related to tone that unfortunately were seldom applied in the real world of professional correspondence, then or now. The correct tone from the outset makes the task of the letter that much easier. This vital precept, however, is often violated.
Someone might still ask if consistency of tone is really that important. Here is my response: After writing a complicated personal or business letter, how often does one ask if what was written really conveyed what the person wanted to say? And after several rewrites, it is still not uncommon to pose the same question? In an overwhelming number of instances, the problem is not the content, but an issue–somewhere–with the tone of the narrative. Check it out and see how often this is true.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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As a writer advances through the process of crafting what he or she hopes will be a publishable novel, one of the most daunting challenges is to meet the requirements for effectively transitioning material. For many writers transitional elements can be difficult to comprehend, let alone achieve.
Transitioning Is Necessary from Both a Micro and Macro Perspective
To understand transitioning, it is necessary to have a solid grasp of what this involves at “the single word within the sentence level” first. One word, such a strategically placed “before” or “now,” can impact the meaning of a huge volume of text and provide the perfect link to the next plot point.
Other times, a short clause such as “over the next few months” or “never again” can provide the ideal bridge. The right clause lets the reader seamlessly take in one story element and comfortably move onto the next without a break in the action. Conversely, inadequate transitioning often prevents a manuscript from being read, let alone considered for publication.
An Entire Paragraph Is Commonly Used to Transition Material
A paragraph is the most logical choice in many if not most instances, since this provides the easiest medium for enabling a large amount of text to achieve the desired result. Of course it often requires several paragraphs to achieve the proper effect.
A Complete Scene Dedicated to the Transition Is the Next Choice
We are now to the macro level, although some might say that this was achieved when the paragraph was broached as an option–and certainly when multiple paragraphs were suggested. Whatever one’s feelings, an entire scene dedicated to a transition point is second only to an entire chapter being utilized as a transition element.
We Must Not Forget about Dialogue as a Transitioning Medium
When writing about the art of effective transitioning, it’s easy to think that it primarily involves exposition and not dialogue, and while non-dialogue narrative is certainly the lead component, the use of dialogue to transition material cannot be underestimated. This is why it’s so critical to read dialogue aloud to help determine how well it enabled transition, not only for the narrative that preceded it–but for what is to follow. (There is also the subtle transitioning between dialogue exchanges that requires equally meticulous scrutiny, but this is a subject for another paper.)
As an editor, I find as many problems with dialogue transitioning as I do with straight exposition being used as the facilitator to move from one plot point to another.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
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At first pass, asking how bad a villain can be seems like a fun topic to write about. The most horrible characters in literary history have commonly revealed themselves via their thoughts or actions in ways that readers found appealing. Evil doers such as Hannibal Lector and Annie Wilkes and certainly Dracula have elicited some sort of positive reaction from much of the public at one time or another.
For Many Villains, It’s the Bright Side and Not the Dark Side That Makes Them Appealing
Thomas Harris enabled Lector fans to learn about the doctor’s youth in plausible terms that explained why he became a monster. Annie Wilkes was simply deranged, but she displayed eerie justification for her actions that made her creepiness, while certainly not acceptable, occasionally understandable. And Drac had all these years of never enjoying peace. If that seems far-fetched as a redemptive feature, why do vampires in literature always seem to use this argument to attract an audience?
Here’s Where the Fun Part Ends
The difficulty with writing villains becomes problematic when it relates to whom and how they choose to do-in they prey. An antagonist who kills children or the mentally challenged can present a huge issue for a writer. Mainstream publishers also shy away from stories about pedophilia, incestuous relationships (unless subtly referenced, such as in A THOUSAND ACRES), and criminals who attack the defenseless.
Here Are Some Antagonists to Avoid
I receive many novels each year that I refuse to edit because I know in their present character-configuration the story would have no chance with a major royalty publisher. One recent plot involved a returning-GI who began a sordid relationship with his 10-year-old daughter. Another story started with the dismemberment of a young boy and the central character’s lust for murdering children seeking a father-figure (I see a lot of this sort of material of late for some reason). A recent story depicted a grotesquely unattractive man who bought retarded children and raised them as sex slaves. As sickening as what I just related happens to be, there is some stuff I’ve been sent that’s even worse, but I hope what I presented clearly expresses where I draw the line.
It’s Not Censoring, It’s What a Publisher Thinks the Public Will Read
In the thriller and mystery genres, major royalty publishers aren’t going to present a book solely for its shock value. However, there might very well be a market for each of the storylines I just mentioned if placed in the hands of a Gore Vidal or a Normal Mailer or James Dickey-type. At their respective skill-level, even the most disgusting topic could be made palatable in a novel (or if someone wanted to write a nonfiction book that deals with any of the subjects). But in the realm of pure commercial fiction, I give this sort of material no chance.
Writers Must Consider Their Audiences
The purpose of this article is not to tell anyone what to write, but to explain markets. According to many polls, women buy more books than men, and people over 65 buy three/fifth’s of all mysteries and thrillers. Is it reasonable to think that these demographics want to read about pedophilia, incest, and dismemberment? The avid older readers I know won’t touch books that contain any of these plotlines.
If there is no interest in becoming signed by a major royalty publisher, then there is no reason to pay attention to anything I offered by way of explanation. However, if becoming signed by a respected imprint is of interest, one of the first things the editor will consider is the platform for the story, and it would behoove authors to be aware of what would be deemed unacceptable.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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I wrote a piece on the meaning of voice well over a year ago that has been one of
the most widely accessed of my articles on the Internet. But I was never pleased with
the content, and I want to try to do a better job of explaining my position on the topic.
Everyone Seems to Have a Different Definition for Voice in Writing
Much of the confusion seems to come from the way critics often extol the virtues of a newly published author. We’ll read something like, “John Doe, a striking new voice on the scene,” or “Mary Jones, the richest and most vibrant voice to hit commercial fiction in a
long time.” Nice words indeed, but do they really say anything about what this voice is?
Voice Is Each Writer
I stated in my earlier article that voice is “you,” and I firmly believe this. If someone
is told he or she displays a striking voice, I’d like to think there is something genuinely scintillating about that writer’s particular style. Likewise, if someone is claimed to possess
a rich and vibrant voice, I’d expect to read a work with well-developed characters and expansive characterizations. But there is no way to be certain this will be the case, since
the term “voice” is anything but definitive.
A Voice Can Be Something Specific
My least favorite phrase is when someone says a writer has a strong voice. Why not
just state that the author’s prose is intelligently written? Or that the content will make the reader think? Or that the plot is complex with well-conceived threads that are explained in an exciting and realistic manner at the work’s conclusion?
Voice Is Genuinely Often Quite Distinctive
Perhaps one of the ways to illustrate voice is to look at four of the most famous American writers of all time: Faulkner, Steinbeck, Hemingway, and Fitzgerald.
Faulkner is known for intricate sentence structure that he utilized to present extraordinary characterizations; Steinbeck wrote in an easier-to-read style, but with a comparable depth to his storylines; Hemingway on the other hand crafted brilliant characterizations via a terse, sharp style that required perfect word selection; while Fitzgerald infused his narratives with characterizations so rich with imagery that they created a mood for the entirety of his stories–which the reader could feel on each page. Each of these writers achieved a like result, but with unique, unmistakable voices
predicated on the mastery of a particular writing technique.
While It Can Indeed Be Difficult to Define, Voice Is Always Present
Voice is whatever any of us want to make it. It is a word that has few limits, since it
can describe quintessential material just as well as something quite pedestrian. Yet owning
a voice to be complimented is what all writers should strive for, regardless of how feeble
the attempt might be to explain exactly what was recognized for its excellence.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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I recently read the unpublished draft of a manuscript that reminded me of something which hadn’t come up in some time. And this was the problem with material written in a passive voice. It’s easy to assume this is simple to understand via the well-touted converse implications of “The piano was being played by Mary” and “Mary was playing the piano,” but it’s often difficult for some writers to fully comprehend the unintended baggage passive voice brings with it.
Past Tense Shouldn’t be Confused with Passive Voice
As everyone knows, “John walks in the park” is present tense in an obvious active voice. We all learned in grammar school that “John walked in the park” is past tense, and also in an active voice. And that “John was walking in the park” is past progressive tense, but again in an active voice. We were also taught that “John has walked in the park” is present perfect tense in an active voice, and “John had walked in the park” is past perfect active tense. For anyone who has an understanding of the rudiments of English, this is about as basic as it gets, so what’s the problem?
Passive Voice Creates a Different Meaning
The “be’s and the “been’s” seem to creep into some amateur writing with ever-increasing frequency. Phrases tend to crop up like, “John had been walking through the park, then he spied Ellen strolling down the sidewalk.” The sentence would be fine, except it indicates that John was doing his walking in the past, and this is likely not what the author wanted to convey. Meaning, was the intent to imply that John had taken his walk a few hours earlier, or a day earlier, or a week earlier, then at this very moment saw Ellen strolling? Or is the author’s contention that John was in the process of walking and observed Ellen? Of course it was the latter, yet expressed as the former.
An Effective Fix that is Not Always a Simple One
One way to avoid passive voice is to find substitutions for “had” and “have.” It’s not always easy, and all-action verb writing can become overwhelming and annoying to the reader, but judicious alternatives for “had” and “have” will provide a summary remedy. A mess like “Loud rain had been falling on the roof” could be converted to “Rain pummeled the roof.” In the second phrase, the decibel level is obvious by the word “pummeled,” and the single-word verb, while taking the place of the three-word “had been falling,” conveniently places this scene in an active voice.
What about Too Many “Was’s” in a Perfectly Good Sentence?
This sentence is a no-brainer: While John was walking through the park, he was thinking about what was bothering him of late. The last “was” of course could be changed to “had been.” But this next sentence poses a not so easy fix: John was walking through the park, worried about what was happening in his life, and he was particularly concerned about what was occurring with his marriage. Even though everything is active in John’s mind, would not a “had been” help the flow by placing this in front of “happening.”
Let Your Ear Guide You, but Stick to Active Voice as Much as Possible
So while there are times when it’s advisable to interject a passive element, let this be predicated in large measure by how the sentence sounds when it’s read out loud. Just keep in mind that it’s far and away best to write in an active voice whenever possible.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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It’s not uncommon for authors at all levels to be wary of editorial assistance if this means it will involve actually omitting or adding material to their drafts. When completed, will it still be “my” work? is the question on these writers’ minds.
Handled Correctly, the Writer Will Notice Only One Thing
This single issue is that the narrative will read better than what was submitted originally. But it will not read any different from the original draft from the perspective or voice. And any competent editor will make certain to not only maintain the voice but the tone as well.
Only After Voice Is Established Can Any Editing Begin
The very first issue the editor must face is to read enough of the manuscript to get a clear understanding of the writer’s voice. No competent editor would change one word or clause without being 100 percent certain of the author’s voice, since this influences syntax at every level of the narrative.
Whatever the Voice of the Narrative, the Editor Must Never Lose Sight of It
Does my changing this spit of dialogue, for example, alter the way the reader will perceive this character? And if I modify this run of internal monologue, am I certain I’m adding to the dimension of this character–without changing the character? These are the questions every good editor asks. And the reason is so the voice of the writer is always respected.
Maintaining Voice Is Not Limited Solely to Characters
All areas of a narrative have the identical requirements. A 12-year-old with normal intelligence can’t suddenly sound like a college professor any more than a scene can be described by an Ivy League lawyer in the syntax of the average high-school kid bagging groceries.
The Narrative’s POV Determines Voice
It’s easy to think that POV is limited to tone, but I’ve found it’s generally more indicative of voice. A skilled editor will assess the POV in the various scenes to come away with a voice for the entire piece. Disparate scenes and their inherent nuances won’t influence the way these elements are presented to the reader any more so than the way the characters in the story are depicted. Unless someone is writing in distinctly different voices, such as what’s displayed in the Vintage International compilation in one volume of Thomas Mann’s DEATH IN VENICE AND SEVEN OTHER SHORT STORIES, the voice of most narratives will be consistent throughout. And a good editor will understand the author’s voice and protect it when making all revisions.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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For many, tone and voice seem synonymous, and it is easy to see why people might
feel this way, however, the terms are decidedly different. But before either can be properly differentiated, it is important to take a close look at writers who mastered voice.
Thomas Mann’s Short Stories Showcase Voice
One of the best ways to understand something is to provide different treatments of
the subject. Thomas Mann’s eight stories in the popular Vintage imprint with DEATH IN VENICE as the lead title is ideal to work from since each story is written in a different voice. Yet Mann’s masterpiece, THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, depicts his voice as a separate entity unto its own–and one could say that it was his true voice.
While the short stories in the DEATH IN VENICE Vintage compendium enable a relatively quick study of the range voice can take, this is far from conclusive. The reason is because voice is without boundaries. This open architecture, in and of itself, leads to much of the confusion about voice. And this is the first distinction between voice and tone, since tone can generally be identified without too much of an argument.
So What Is Voice?
When someone hears that a “new voice has exploded upon the literary scene,” does one automatically expect to read the next Marcel Proust, Virginia Wolfe, Ann Rand, Ralph Ellison, William Faulkner, or Erskine Caldwell; or should we seek writers from our current era such as Pat Conroy, Elmore Leonard, E.L. Doctorow, Tom Clancy, or Barbara Kingsolver for reference?
Each of these writers possesses a distinctive voice, but what do we say about authors who create work in the same genre and are similar in style? Does each writer still have a separate voice? Of course he or she does. Just as one singer can sound like another but not possess the identical range in every key.
An Attorney Letter and Family Correspondence on the Same Subject Illustrate the Difference
One of the best ways I can think of to express voice is to compare an invitation to the reading of a will from an attorney with the same request from a close relative.
The first might read something like this: Dear Mr. David C. Howson: Please be advised that your attendance is requested on Thursday, January 11, 2009, at 1:00 p.m., in the offices of John Carlton Jones, Esquire, Attorney at Law, 201 West Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60601, for the reading of the Last Will and Testament of Horatio Clark Howson, etc.
Conversely, here is an invitation from a close relative: Dear Davey, your uncle’s will
is going to be read next week at our attorney’s office, and we look forward to seeing you there. Jo Ann will call you for with the details. Love, Aunt Mary.
Style Establishes Voice, but There’s a Lot More to It
Same message about the dearly departed, and although both are conveyed in what is considered a soft tone in relative terms, they are written in decidedly different voices. So while it is safe to say that style creates voice as much as the words that are used, what about an academic paper written in an authoritative tone? Isn’t this also an authoritative voice? Certainly, except it would probably be easier for definition purposes to claim the voice as authoritative and the tone as strong.
Tone Has Three Basic Mediums
For practical purposes, tone is either soft, moderate, or strong. These areas of course can have any number of gradients, from very soft to aggressively strong, but the three delineations provide the basis for comparison. This is still speculative, because what one person considers moderate another might feel is strong (and of course vice versa). But it’s much easier to come to a consensus on a specific tone than to devise a chart that categorizes voice.
So, Again, What Is Voice?
Voice is you. Should you and another person write a book about the identical topic, your story will reflect your way of telling the tale via words and syntax that differ from what the other writer has used. So when you write a book, and the critics proclaim a fantastic new voice has roared onto the scene, these pundits are talking specifically about you, because you are the voice of your writing. And a unique voice indeed.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
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One of the elements an editor looks at is the consistency of word usage in a narrative. Certain words seem to come to the forefront, and this article will identify some of the main culprits so writers can be on the lookout for them. And if ever there was one fantastic feature in word-processing software, it’s the Find and Replace function.
Towards and Amongst Are at the Forefront
In my own drafts I often find instances in which I think toward sounds fine in one sentence and towards better in another. The same with among and amongst. However, toward is the preferred spelling, as is among. But the most important issue is to be consistent throughout the narrative, regardless of which spelling for either word is initially used.
Backward and Backwards Can Have Different Meanings
These words are tougher, because both can be used as either adjectives or adverbs, and in some instances the two words aren’t interchangeable. For example, someone might say that Joe was a little backward, but not that Joe was backwards, unless of course Joe was facing in what at the time was an opposite direction.
Afterward and Afterwards Can Also Cause Problems
I have never been comfortable with afterwards instead of afterward, yet the former is accepted as correct. Whichever spelling is used, again, make certain it’s applied uniformly throughout the draft.
Too and Also Are Exceptions
A writer recently asked me about too and also. As if the subject of this article isn’t already difficult enough to keep straight, these words are a horse of a different color. Too and also can be interchanged throughout a manuscript without raising any red flags. Frankly, it’s a good idea to mix them to provide variety. The reason is because we aren’t dealing with too and toos and also and alsos.
The problem occurs when words, such as the others I mentioned, have the same meaning with or without the “s” at the end. Then, as I’ve indicated, it’s important to stay with the first usage and make certain the entire draft is consistent.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® in now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and line-edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line-edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
Why Does Word Count Matter?
It’s a common question, and not one that can be easily answered, if at all, but I’ll attempt to offer at least some degree of clarification. However, it must be kept in mind that much of what is written in this article will be nugatory if in ten years almost every book is published in an e-book format.
The First Issue to Consider Is If a Writer Is Presently Unpublished
Previously unpublished authors seem to be scrutinized much more closely than well-known writers with an established readership. A 150,000 word book by an unknown has one obvious thing going against it from the outset, and this is the cost to publish the book f it’s twice the size of an average work in the same genre. This would likely entail a higher price point, and the immediate concern that the buying public will be reluctant to pay more for a book by someone who is heretofore unknown. (With an e-book, this of course is a non-issue.)
So What About the Previously Published Writer?
This seems to be what causes the most confusion. Some people might love to read Joe Jones so much that every word is a trip to Nirvana and therefore the more text the merrier. Also, publishers might be reluctant to come down too hard on their revenue producing writers and consequently they leave their overwriting alone. Or, simply, publishers aren’t editing their successful writers’ works, and what is submitted is essentially what is going to be put into print.
There Are Some Quantifiable Answers
And these relate to genre. In Literature, for example, how can any book be too expansive? Yet, in the Police Thriller world, there is a model in the 100,000 word range, give or take 10,000 words either way, that seems to work best. Perhaps the rationale is a ten-hour or so read for the average individual taking part in a round trip, coast-to-coast flight. This might be a silly analogy to some, but look at 80% of the novels in an airport bookstore and get back to me if you think I’m altogether wrong.
Asking About Word Count Is Normal
I also find myself looking at word count whenever someone presents me with a novel to edit. And there is good reason. If a writer has a 250,000 word Science Fiction first draft, I know right away this is not the project for me. On the other hand, if someone has a work of Commercial Fiction that is 125,000 words, and even though I can almost always assume the novel is going to be 25,000-35,000 words too long, it’s something I can generally handle.
Don’t be Put Off by Word Count
Some of the word count hoopla is just that, in my opinion. I remember an absurd situation a dozen years ago that was the result of sending a manuscript of mine, at the request of my editor at the time, to a well-known agent. My story comprised 78,000 words and contained a romantic element that was significant to one of the story’s developmental arcs. The august agent informed me that a novel needed to be in the 120,000 word range to enable a “juicy enough romance to develop.” Go figure.
The bottom line is that nothing is more subjective than word count, but if you’re trying to become published for the first time, I think you’ll find it to be a good idea to try to fit your story within the current parameters for the genre in which you write.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
Amateur writing is full of misused modifiers and other syntax culprits that foul a narrative, but nothing may be more glaring than the improper use of some of the rudiments of rhetoric such as “a” and “the” or “will not” and “would not.”
Tex Must Have Entered a Bar on the Verge of Foreclosure
The words “a” and “the” are often interchanged without the writer understanding the implication. The cowboy sauntered up to the bar and pulled out the stool, says to the reader that there was just one lone bar stool in the place, since the article “the” implies there is only one of something. Hence, Tex should’ve sauntered up to the bar and pulled out “a” stool.
Chronology Also Impacts Correctness
If it’s established for the reader that Tex had pulled out the stool at an earlier point in the scene, then it would be perfectly acceptable for our cowboy to pull out “the” bar stool he’d sat on earlier, since in the world of rhetoric he had taken possession of the object via his prior action. Likewise, if an author had written there was only one open bar stool, or there indeed was only one stool in the bar, then it would be correct to write that Tex sauntered up to the bar and pulled out “the” bar stool, since there would be no other stool
in the saloon for him to grab.
Won’t and Wouldn’t Are Not Synonymous
I read a message on a blog by a fellow who didn’t understand the difference between “won’t” and “would not,” but who was published by a small indie. I’m glad he got it right if he used the words in his story, or certainly his publisher would’ve called him on it. “Won’t,” as the contracted form of “will not” is definitive; conversely, “would not” is imprecise. I “wouldn’t” do something means that you don’t want to do whatever it might be, but it’s not a certainty. It’s the little bit of wiggle room that “would not” provides that distinguishes its meaning from “won’t.”
Don’t Forget “That” and “Which”
It’s easy to lose sight of “that” and “which” as defining modifiers, but they are. It took me the longest time to understand an example I read years ago that differentiated “that” and “which.” It went something like this: The lawnmower that is in the garage is red. The lawnmower, which is in the garage, is red.
The “that” example implies there is more than one lawnmower, but that the specific lawnmower in the garage is red. The “which” phrase means there is only one lawnmower, and it’s in the garage and happens to be red.
If any of you are like me, this at first will make no sense. If anything, it might even seem the opposite should apply. But if you think about it long and hard, at some point the meanings of “that” and “what” in these examples will become clear. And once this is understood, a writer is one step closer to crafting prose with modifiers that accurately define.
Parse a Manuscript for Places In Which Words Are Placed in the Incorrect Context
It’s easy to make mistakes with either of the sets of words I mentioned in this article. With most narratives, “a” and “the” are much more problematic than “will not” and “would not,” but it’s incumbent on the author to make certain these words convey their intended meaning.
Did Tex really pull out the only bar stool in the Long Branch Saloon? And what did he actually mean when he said he wouldn’t go upstairs to see Madam Carlotta? I don’t believe there was only one bar stool in the Long Branch any more than Tex would never make a visit to Madam Carlotta’s boudoir again.
Robert L. Bacon, Founder
The Perfect Write®
For Serious Writers! The Perfect Write® is now providing a Free Opening-Chapter Critique and Line Edit. Paste the first chapter of your manuscript (up to 5000 words) to [email protected] (no attachments). In addition to the critique, The Perfect Write® will line edit, if applicable, up to the first three-pages of your double-spaced material also at no charge.
Also Free! Receive The Perfect Write® Newsletters that feature articles on writing at a publishable level. Click here and scroll to the bottom of The Perfect Write® Home Page for the simple two-step sign-up box.
When It’s Time to Write Something Else
This might well be the single most important issue I will ever discuss, as it really is about letting a project go and beginning another.
Dragging Along a Corpse
Before “retiring” and editing for a living, I spent my entire career in sales. And by most standards I was considered successful, sometimes even highly so. One manager analyzed why I was effective at consistently posting strong numbers against stiff competition, and his comment was that I never dragged along a corpse. Truer words were never spoken.
The Time Comes When a Writer Must Move On
In no world I know of does hope spring more eternal than for a budding author. Every writer I know personally, including me, has hung on much too long to a manuscript that wasn’t signed right away by an agent or publisher.
Give It Your All
Yes, do give it your all, but then give your all to something else. The best advice I ever received that pertained to my writing was when my agent told me to write something else. He wasn’t telling me that my current story wasn’t any good, which was my initial reaction, but that waiting on the current work to be signed by a publisher could indeed take a long time.
Doing Nothing Creates All Sorts of Bad Habits
I’ve known excellent writers who became downright bitter at not having their first project signed, and then threatened never to write another word. Some unpublished authors decide moping and whining will get their book published, while others go the denial route and complain about everything and everyone associated with the industry.
Hitch Up Your Britches and Move On
Grab hold of the keyboard and write something new. Nothing I know of can get a writer out of the doldrums quicker than crafting fresh material. For writers who care about their sanity, text is the ultimate elixir, and it always amazes me at how quickly all of us can “recover” once we get the creative juices flowing once more. Little I know of can rejuvenate a writer quicker than designing a good run of prose and reading it aloud afterwards.
New “Life” Is Only a Few Keystrokes Away
The solution is in taking the initiative to put aside the now dusty manuscript, if only figuratively, and begin working on another project. In as little as a few days (a few hours, for some), the old material will be thought of as just that, and the new concept will be consuming every waking moment.
Putting a Draft Aside Doesn’t Mean Giving Up the Ghost
The main issue I always keep in front of my clients is that working on a new book doesn’t imply giving up on an old one. It simply means that time is once again being spent in a constructive way. If a person spends six months creating a new work or holding on to an old manuscript and moping around like death warmed over, a half-year is still going to have passed. Which option makes the most sense?
The answer is obvious, but the real point is that the time comes when a person has to take stock of the situation and realize that the best option is to write something else. Maybe the phrase “something else” is offensive to some people, as this could be misconstrued to imply that the initial material wasn’t good enough. So, I’ll offer revised rhetoric for anyone who might be facing the quandary I’m discussing in this paper: Write something more. You’ll be happy you’re occupying your mind with a new story, and so will the future audience for your work.
